


Once Upon A Dream

by Kasienda



Series: Dreams [1]
Category: Sailor Moon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, F/M, Reincarnation, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasienda/pseuds/Kasienda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His name was Chiba Mamoru, orphaned at age seven after a car accident, emancipated at sixteen, graduated a year early top of his class, an excellent motor biker, a pinball extraordinaire, and now a double poly-sci and biochemistry major at the university. </p><p>Despite all the memories, despite all the details, his life didn’t feel real. Not compared to the dream. His whole existence never felt quite natural to him. It was like he was supposed to be somewhere – meant to do something else. He lived only for the dreams. Even the nightmares. They were the only time he could see her – the girl that plagued every moment of his existence. </p><p>He couldn’t remember her name. He was certain that he had known it at one point and was mortified that he had forgotten. He knew the warmth that flooded his chest when she simply smiled at him. He lived only for the brief moments they spent together. So how on Earth, could he not remember her name?</p><p>Rewritten, Revised, and Reposted!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N:  
> There's very little that original about this particular work. That being said, I am having so much fun writing it and I still think it's super cute. It's not particularly loyal to canon (manga or anime), but I think you'll be able to see where inspiration is coming from for particular scenes.
> 
> New A/N: Once Upon a Dream has been revised and is in the process of reposting! Most of the changes are just polishing and superficial in nature – just improving descriptions and transitions, however chapter two and three both contain lots of new scenes! Thank you to smfan4ever72 and my sisters for providing the crucial detailed feedback that brought about these improvements. 
> 
> Italicized text is usually either a dream or a memory. Sometimes it is thoughts in first person perspective.

**Prologue:**

_The knight stood helpless as the seemingly endless wave of mindless youmas struck the frontlines yet again. Behind the never ending hordes, the knight could make out the majestic sorceress, waves of red curls cascading down and around her shoulders, standing on a cliff overlooking the chaos she had put into play, with four men at her back._ His _men. He grip on his hilt tightened in rage, his blood boiling with hatred. The woman seemed determined to take everything that was precious to him: his lush and growing world, his brothers in arms, and his princess._

_He turned his gaze to his beloved, the princess of the moon. She wore a flowing white gown that accented her slim form with her long silver blond hair draped freely around her shoulders down to her knees. Her startlingly blue eyes shined too brightly, threatening tears. He felt her heartache as if it was his own. How he wished that he could take her pain from her._

_His guilt threatened to consume him at times like this – when he remembered that this chaos had followed him to this impossible paradise. That the looming destruction was his own responsibility. And he could do nothing to defend or protect this kingdom._

_‘I’m sorry,’ he mouthed to her, the apology paltry and insignificant in light of all that had happened._

_Her eyebrows scrunched in puzzlement. ‘For what?’ her face said._

_For everything, he wanted to tell her. But he said nothing. She didn’t blame him at all. He smiled gratefully as he bridged the gap between them, allowing their fingers to just barely touch. The sounds of battle seemed to fade as he lost himself in the blue pools that were her eyes._

_Seeing her now, her face tight in fear with her gown torn and dirtied, he knew he had to protect her. He blocked out everything else – the clash of steel colliding against each other, the fire and thunder of magic hurled for demonic purposes, the stars trembling above him. If only there was something he could do._

_He forced his attention back to the battle happening before him. They were losing. It was only a matter of time before they were overrun. The fighting that had at first seemed far away now took place directly below them. Though their warriors and soldiers fought valiantly, the hordes of attackers never seemed to diminish. For every youma vanquished, another three seemed to appear. The hordes just rolled over everything in their path._

_He shouted orders urgently to their honor guard, and the four female warriors were already surging forward to take out the enemies scaling the wall before the words had left his mouth._

_He urged the princess behind him._

_The senshi were quickly overrun and he was soon fighting for his life against a long white haired man. A man that he had once called friend._

_Their blades collided. Sparks flew. The shock shot painfully up his arm. He held firm, but his adversary quickly pulled back to strike again and again, high and low, a feint to the right, only to attack left. It took all the knight’s concentration to parry each incoming blow. He had never fought so desperately far too aware that his princess stood just a few paces behind him._

_She made not a sound. She must have been terrified, but he felt a surge of pride that she maintained her composure. She knew he needed to concentrate on the battle._

_The knight leapt forward bringing his blade down hard. The white haired man swept his attack aside easily. The knight met his opponent’s steel grey eyes, mentally grasping for some technique to break past the other man’s guard. How could he surprise a man that knew his own fighting style better than himself?_

_The knight left his right guard open – a mistake he had long been trained out of._

_“You’re getting tired highness. You know better,” the other man accused disapprovingly, as he took the opening._

_The knight twisted away from the enemy blade and thrust his own sword into his mentor’s now unguarded chest._

_“Why? Just tell me why?” the knight demanded as he pulled his blade free._

_The familiar face stretched into an ugly smirk, an expression that looked completely unnatural on the older man’s face. The knight froze. Something had gone horribly wrong._

_He turned just in time to see the glowing pink crystals conjured by the man dying beneath him, rushing toward the moon princess – his princess. He leapt forward and shoved her aside._

Crystalline ice plunged through his chest, the physical shock burned through every nerve. He couldn’t even manage a scream through the wall of pain, but it was her scream that wrenched him to his very soul. He felt her anguish and terror as if it was his own. He desperately tried to reach for her, but his limbs had gone numb and unresponsive. Her hand remained just a few unbearable millimeters away. He couldn’t reach it. 

_She was by his side, sobbing brokenly, her face besmirched with streams of tears. He wanted to brush them away. She should never have to cry – not on his account. Her whole body convulsed as she screamed in defiance of the reality before her. It broke his heart that he was the cause of her grief. He wished that he could somehow ease her pain – make her forget him so she didn’t have to feel this pain. She was the last of his world – everything else had faded completely from his senses, but somehow he was still able to feel her._

_She grabbed at his waist. He couldn’t fathom why. Suddenly she had a sword, his sword. The same sword his father had knighted him with. He didn’t know why her holding it bothered him so much, but panic suddenly gripped him. A split second later he knew why. She had turned the blade toward herself._

_‘No,’ he begged internally. She must not do this. He could not let her do this! It was his duty to protect her! But he couldn’t stop her. He didn’t have the strength. He couldn’t even speak. He knew he had already succumbed to his own wound... had already died. She would never have even considered this otherwise._

_The long silver blade pierced her left breast with sickening ease, her pure white gown welled deep red. He felt his own heart shatter completely. Her eyes glazed over, their sparkle gone._

………..

**Chapter 1: Dreams**

Mamoru shot upright, a cold sweat drenched his body. He clutched the damp white sheet in his fist. For a moment he didn’t recognize his surroundings. The bare azure walls felt alien and unnatural to him. He took in slow deep breaths, trusting that memories would catch up to him. They always had in the past with only one notable exception.

His name was Chiba Mamoru, orphaned at age seven after a car accident, emancipated at sixteen, graduated a year early top of his class, an excellent motor biker, a pinball extraordinaire, and now a double poly-sci and biochemistry major at the university. He was in his bedroom – in the apartment in Tokyo he had just moved into six months prior at his seventeenth birthday.

Despite all the memories, despite all the details, his life didn’t feel real. Not compared to the dream. His whole existence never felt quite natural to him. It was like he was supposed to be somewhere – meant _to do_ something else. He lived only for the dreams. Even the nightmares. They were the only time he could see her – the girl that plagued every moment of his existence.

He couldn’t remember her name. He was certain that he had known it at one point in his past and it mortified him that he had forgotten. He knew the warmth that flooded his chest when she simply smiled at him. He lived only for the brief moments they spent together. The rest of the time he moved through the routines of everyday life, searching, waiting for her to reenter his world. So how on Earth, could he _not_ remember her name?

She made him feel real even as she tortured him. Every single night he would face her. On rare treasured occasions, she dazzled him with her bright smile and shining eyes. But most nights she begged and pleaded for his help with impossible or baffling tasks. And every once in awhile he had to watch as she killed herself before his very eyes in the midst of a battle he knew they had lost. A battle that had cost them both everything.

The dreams had haunted him since the accident. He had survived the car accident – at least, that’s what he had been told. He certainly remembered none of it. Not his parents, both fatalities of the collision, nor of anything prior. In truth, Mamoru felt nothing for either of his parents. They were just names on a tombstone – names that meant nothing.

Sometimes he felt guilty about that fact, but most of the time he just felt disconnected in the same way he felt disconnected from his life. Maybe things would have been different had he been able to remember anything before waking up in that hospital bed at seven years of age. This had been the only time his memories had not returned upon waking.

That was when the dreams had started. At the orphanage he would speak only of the princess of his dreams. And when he was eight years old, his guardians had thought his make believe princess was rather adorable. That was, until he woke up screaming one night because his princess had died, killed by her own hand. He had been inconsolable for weeks. They had put him in therapy.

His therapist had told him the girl wasn’t real, merely his subconscious projecting his own need to be loved and his fear of those he cared about dying. He had invented her as a way to assure himself that he had always been and always would be loved. Her presence also protected his psyche from further potential dangers by reducing the need to form attached relationships with actual real life people. He advised Mamoru that if he ever wished to recover his memories, he had to let the dream princess go. 

Intellectually, Mamoru knew the explanation made sense, but he could never accept it. He had been so bombarded with her image he could not fight against it. As he grew older his doubt only grew - he thought himself half insane, but he could not bring himself to deny her existence. Not when she stood before him every night with unshed tears in her eyes. He knew that he could deny her nothing. That he would devote his life to accomplishing her impossible tasks. And if the cost was his sanity – so be it.

It would have been worth it… if only he could remember her name.

…

“You’re quiet today,” Motoki commented.

“Didn’t sleep well,” Mamoru said as he held out his empty coffee cup over the red formica counter top. The arcade was mostly empty at the early morning hour, but it was anything but quiet. Flashing colored lights and synthesized music from various title sequences melded together all demanding his simultaneous attention.

Motoki had been trying to convince him for ages to come upstairs to the restaurant proper, insisting they had outgrown the arcade, but Mamoru stubbornly always sat in the same stool in the arcade itself. He didn’t know why, but he found the controlled chaos of the place comforting. Perhaps because he had practically grown up chasing Furuhata Motoki, his best friend, around and in-between the game consoles from third grade on. Running out of coins never prevented a game of hide and seek or make believe adventures in the “alleyways” between obstacles. It was one of the few places he remembered actually being happy.

“Another dream?” Motoki asked as he refilled the mug with the steaming hazel blend that Mamoru preferred.

Mamoru winced, regretting - not for the first time - ever having told his blond friend about the dreams and nightmares that plagued his existence. Of course, at nine years of age he hadn’t yet learned to be discreet. Motoki had delighted in the stories as a child – together they had played knights against the evil witch, slaying hordes of imaginary monsters all in hopes of saving their own personal princesses.

But Motoki had outgrown the childish fancies. Somehow, Mamoru… well, he had never gotten over it. And as his obsession only continued to magnify over the years, his friend worried. Motoki thought he was crazy. 

Mamoru did not disagree.

“Oh, you know me too well Motoki-kun. I’m always obsessing over the girl of my dreams,” Mamoru said, trying to make his voice light and carefree.

His oldest friend regarded him carefully. Mamoru tried not to shrink back from the intense gaze. He was pretty sure that Motoki saw straight through him.

“She died again?” he asked.

Mamoru remained silent.

“It’s just a dream Mamoru-kun,” he said gently. “Don’t let it ruin your whole day.”

“It’s not just a dream,” Mamoru argued for what must have been the hundredth time. He didn’t even know why he bothered. “She’s out there somewhere.”

“There are a million girls out there Mamoru-kun,” Motoki commented after a moment of silence. “Just _waiting_ to meet you. Maybe these nightmares wouldn’t plague you so if you moved on with your life.”

Mamoru didn’t bother to respond.

“Hey, look at her!” Motoki whistled softly gesturing behind him toward two girls that had just walked in.

Mamoru groaned, wishing once again that he had never described the princess of his dreams to Motoki. His friend had a tendency to point out girls that superficially met her description. Pale skin like the moon, with long silvery blond hair, often adorned with rosebuds and shining sapphire eyes. But he turned his stool toward the door in spite of himself. He always hoped that just maybe…

Mamoru scowled in disapproval when his eyes landed on the _very_ young blond girl, her hair in unusual buns that turned into ponytails on either side. She looked like she had a pair of odangos coming out of her skull. 

She wasn’t bad looking though. Not at all. Her eyes, which _were_ in fact blue, sparkled when the light struck them. His scowl had faded into a gentle smile. He shook himself out of it and turned back on his friend.

“Motoki-kun! What’s wrong with you? She’s like what? _Fourteen_?” Mamoru growled, uncertain if he was chastising his friend, or himself, for actually finding the girl attractive.

“She won’t be fourteen forever Mamoru-kun,” his friend countered with a sly grin.

Mamoru turned back and watched the two girls giggle over some shared secret. Mamoru could feel Motoki’s eyes on the back of his head – he had been watching the girl for a few seconds too long he realized. Time to change the subject!

“Why are you here this morning? You don’t normally work on Saturdays,” Mamoru commented.

“Yeah, my father’s on a business trip, inspecting other sites. I had to cover for him.”

“When do you get off?”

“My sister comes in at one.”

“You want to meet up after? To study for the calc midterm?”

Motoki groaned. “Do I have to?”

“Yes!” Mamoru growled. “You know I won’t let you fail the class.”

“Whatever am I going to use calculus for?” Motoki complained.

Mamoru gave his friend his own piercing look.

“Fine! Fine!” Motoki conceded. “I’ll be over around four. I promised Reika-chan that we’d have a late lunch.”

Mamoru nodded as he rose to his feet. There was no way he could talk Motoki into skipping his date so there was no point in arguing an earlier time. “See you then.”

…

Mamoru managed to fly through the week of midterms. As usual, he did exceptionally well, though he didn’t feel any pride in the accomplishment. Truth be told, he felt more emotion and ownership over the B minus that Motoki had managed to pull off in Vector Calculus. Not that he could take credit for that – Motoki had definitely done all the work. Mamoru had just forced him to spend the time on it.

He finally was able to sleep again as his dreams had shifted from nightmares of battle and suicide, to moonlit strolls and secret romantic meetings in dark private corners of the most fragrant rose garden. Somehow these dreams made him even more restless upon waking. He felt a change coming – and it made him uneasy.

Mamoru strolled down the sidewalk in no particular hurry, unconsciously weaving through the living river of pedestrians like the practiced native of downtown Tokyo that he was. Only the grin plastered on his face made him seem out of place in the carefully reserved and professional sea of people.

He was reliving an especially sweet moment from the previous night’s dream. A dream in which the silver princess led him though a long spiraling walk through a maze of roses with only the company of twinkling white stars above them in the Lunarian sky. She said nothing – nothing he could recall – but her eyes spoke volumes. And now, he was trying to crystallize the sensation of her arm looped through his elbow, of her slender hand gently enveloped in his own.

The memory shattered with a hard impact and he crashed to the ground. He found staring upward at rectangular prisms stretching into cerulean blue sky, momentarily robbed of breadth.

After managing a lungful of air, he sat up slowly. Bits of gravel dug through his pant legs painfully.

“Watch where you’re going!” a shrill voice screamed at him.

“Excuse me?” Mamoru said tightly as he looked up at his assailant.

He found himself lost as his eyes fell into her painfully blue ones. The sounds of bustling city traffic and murmuring commuters faded from his awareness. The never-ending flow of pedestrians almost seemed to freeze in place. His felt a weird spinning sensation behind his eyes as if the world had somehow shifted.

“How could you be so clumsy?” she demanded, breaking his reverie. He shook his head, trying to regain his equilibrium from the collision. Bringing her into focus, he realized he recognized her. She was the blond girl with the ridiculous pigtails and the easy smile. She wore a navy blue school uniform that identified her as a middle school student. 

“You weren’t paying attention to where you were going at all!” she continued to berate him as she pulled her school bag from the ground into her lap – rapidly refilling it with papers, notebooks, and pens that had been scattered between them.

Mamoru felt his blood boiling immediately. He certainly hadn’t been paying attention, but the collision was just as much her fault, perhaps more so judging by the force of the impact. But before he could put any of this into words she rose to her feet and swirled away, her bag bouncing with each step as she marched determinedly off.

“Oi! Odango Atama! Watch where _you_ are going!” he called after her once he had rediscovered his voice.

She whirled back around, “They’re not odangos!” she screeched with a final icy glare directed his way. “They’re pigtails, idiot!” She stuck her tongue out at him. Then in another instant she was gone.

He didn’t move for several moments. He was trying to summon the sensations from the dream memory back to him, but they refused to surface. He could still remember what had happened in the dream, but it was like remembering the script to a play, the words themselves had no impact. All he could picture was the girl that had struck him. It was like she had driven the pleasant feelings from him. This did not endear the young girl to him. 

Not at all.

Rising to his feet, he noticed a crumpled piece of paper where her school bag had been a moment before. He picked it up and flattened it. It was a math test that was the work of one Tsukino Usagi. The girl was apparently abysmal in the subject. Thirty percent? He had never seen a score so low. Who was she to call _him_ an idiot? Even at his worst, Motoki had never dropped below a fifty-five.

The girl was clumsy, rude, disorganized and mentally deficient.

…

The arcade bustled with the normal Friday afternoon activity. The game consoles worked and flashed to entertain junior high and high school students treating themselves for getting through the week. And Motoki moved from table-to-table taking orders before refilling what he referred to as the “Coin ATM” so that his customers could exchange cash for coins.

Motoki came back to the counter pouring refills to those sitting at the bar. Mamoru had just arrived taking his usual seat. Motoki flipped over a mug and filled it with Mamoru’s usual hazelnut blend without comment.

“Thanks Motoki-kun,” Mamoru said absently before he took a gulp of the steaming black liquid.

Motoki noticed the scowl on his friend’s face.

“Mamoru-kun, what’s wrong? More nightmares?” it had become his usual greeting when Mamoru came in looking pensive.

“What?” Mamoru said lifting his eyes in surprise. “No, I…”

And he launched into an explanation of a collision that had happened just outside. He seemed awfully worked up over a simple run-in on the sidewalk. Motoki grinned. This was the first time in weeks that Mamoru spoke of normal misfortune and problems.

“What?” Mamoru asked defensively.

“Nothing, I’m just thrilled to see you worked up over a girl! Finally!” 

“It’s nothing like that!”

Motoki held up his hands innocently. “Didn’t mean to imply that it was. But I think your ‘nemesis’ is over there, playing the Sailor V game if… you want to talk to her.”

Mamoru visibly tensed in his seat. Motoki suppressed his laughter. This girl must be something. It took a lot to rile up Mamoru.

“Odango Atama!” his friend called as he stood up from the stool approaching the girl. Motoki followed in his wake, suddenly a very bad feeling had hardened in the pit of his stomach.

“Don’t call me that!” she cried, not turning her attention from the action of the game. Mamoru ignored her objection.

“You dropped this outside,” he explained, dropping a crumpled ball onto the console before her. “You might try studying next time. You clearly need to.”

She burst into tears even as she shoved the paper into her bag. “It’s none of your business! Why are you so _mean_?” she wailed, spinning to face him.

“I don’t know. Why are you so clumsy?” he countered indifferently.

“Mamoru-kun!” Motoki admonished sharply. “What’s wrong with _you_?”

Motoki was pleased that his friend had the decency to look at least guilty. He was being overly cruel and Motoki couldn’t let him upset customers or young innocent girls.

She was still crying softly.

“There now, what’s your name?” Motoki asked gently as he handed her his handkerchief. She blew her nose loudly.

“Tsukino Usagi,” she managed between sobs.

“Nice to met you Usagi-chan. I’m Furuhata Motoki. Why don’t you come and sit at the counter and I’ll see if we can find you a chocolate milkshake. My treat,” he insisted.

She beamed at him, her eyes sparkling. He led her to the spinning stools and sat her down in the seat adjacent to Mamoru’s.

“Thank you Motoki onii-san!” she cried. “You’re the only good thing that has happened all day.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?”

Her chest swelled as she took in a deep breath dramatically, obviously preparing for a long oration. Motoki suppressed a grin.

“It all started because I was having the most wonderful dream. There was a garden filled with roses. It was just so pretty and… I don’t know… peaceful. And I guess I just didn’t want to wake up. My mom insisted that she tried to wake me up multiple times, but I don’t remember that at all,” she rambled rapidly.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I had to skip breakfast, but even skipping breakfast I was still late to school and Haruna-sensei made me stand in the hallway. Can you _imagine_? Making a delicate girl like _me_ just stand in the hallways while I was _starving_?” she cried indignantly.

Mamoru snorted.

“Does seem rather tortuous,” Motoki soothed quickly, over his friend’s derision.

“I was left there forever! And eventually, I just couldn’t take it anymore and I snuck just a bit of my lunch. You know, just to sooth the hunger pains. I _am_ a growing girl after all!”

“Of course!” Motoki chimed in as she paused for breath. Mamoru sighed heavily at this point, obviously bored. He always complained that Motoki was too nice to the girls that came into the arcade, but Motoki couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stand a girl in tears.

“And that, of course, was when Haruna-sensei came out to check on me. _Then_ she gave me detention so I had to stay at school even longer. That wouldn’t have been so bad except she gave back our math tests.”

Mamoru caught Motoki’s eyes for a moment and waved good-bye. Motoki nodded in acknowledgement as he continued to listen to the poor girl’s story.

“And Umino-kun just wouldn’t shut up about how he got a 95 percent without trying. I _hate_ math!

“Yeah…” Motoki said with genuine sympathy. “You and me both!” 

“My parents are going to disown me,” she mumbled. 

“I’m sure that won’t happen,” he encouraged.

“And _then_ , that _jerk_ just wasn’t paying attention and he just crashed into me. He never even apologized! In fact, he then came and rubbed in my face how stupid I am as if I needed anyone to tell me…” the tears were threatening again.

“That’s awful Usagi-chan!” Motoki sympathized. “Why don’t we make this a double?”

He was rewarded with another huge smile.

If only he could cheer up everyone so easily, Motoki thought, thinking of his tall friend that had just departed.

“What’s with him, anyway?” she asked through her straw.

“Mamoru-kun? I don’t know, he doesn’t usually get worked up like that… You just have magic powers Usagi-chan!”

“Hmph!” was all she said. 

…

_Mamoru walked through an unfamiliar corridor made of silver bricks that seemed almost to glow. The scent of roses filled his senses and he could hear the playful babbling of a fountain. He turned a corner through an archway that led into a most familiar garden and there she was._

_She had her back to him surrounded by roses of every color. She leaned forward to smell a red one in perfect bloom. Her long hair spilled over her shoulders on either side like golden waterfalls. He approached with a bounce in his step, the silver gravel crunching beneath his feet with every step taken._

_“I love this place,” she said softly not turning around. She stood on a spiraling path that would lead back to the pearlescent fountain if they followed it. Roses of different varieties sprung up along the path. Miniature baby rose varieties filled in the cracks between the gleaming white archways and columns while climbing roses spiraled around and through latticework between different sections of the garden, and multicolored varieties added splashes of vibrant color to the Lunarian black and white skyline. The traditional red rose though, had always been his favorite._

_“It reminds me of you.”_

_“Why?” he asked, coming around so he could see her face. The fragrance of most flowers, particularly of roses, had always put him at ease. Perhaps this was the reason._

_She grinned and for once there was no sadness in her eyes. “You had a talent for making roses appear in the unlikeliest of places. My mother could never figure out if you were using true magic or sleight of hand.”_

_Then her eyes flashed with pain again and he regretted the question._

_“It’s a talent that you need to remember,” she added softly._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“My mother failed. Your world is in danger once again. You must protect it.”_

_“How?”_

_“Remember this place. Picture it in your mind. Feel everything it means to be here in this garden, in this moment.”_

_“I don’t understand.”_

_“Just don’t forget. All you have to do is remember this garden.”_

When Mamoru woke up he reached for the notebook he kept on the nightstand. It had been so long since he had used the dream journal. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had a new dream. He kept the journal there more out of habit than anything else. He had learned years ago that his dreams, no matter how vivid in the morning, could be forgotten rather quickly once the daily routine had begun. And this one seemed especially important.

Remember the garden? For what purpose? How would that help him protect anything?

…

Mamoru had taken to drawing the rose garden onto every scrap of paper that passed his way. Today was no different. He was waiting for Motoki and Setsuna to arrive so they could begin planning their community service project for Government class. He might as well spend the time ‘remembering the garden’ though he never seemed to accomplish anything by doing so. Unfortunately, the only canvas he had to work on was a small white napkin.

The outlines of the fountain and distant columns were already in place. He made casual charcoal strokes, adding dimension to the rose vines that climbed up the main column. He attention kept coming back to one particular rose that seemed to fall into the pathway from the adjacent column. He could not place what was special about the particular flower over all the others in the drawing, but he knew it had to be important.

“What’re you drawing?”

He jumped at the sudden unexpected presence poking over his shoulder. 

“Odango,” he breathed in greeting, trying to calm himself.

“Did I startle you baka?” she asked gleefully.

He sighed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked sarcastically.

“I wanted to know what you were drawing,” she repeated the original question, pointing to his sketch.

“None of your business,” he said coldly having no desire to explain the scene, especially to _her_.

“Why are you _always_ so cold? I was just asking,” she huffed. Mamoru fought off a sudden urge to grin.

“It’s rather pretty,” she said with genuine admiration ignoring his aloofness. “I can almost smell the roses!”

“… Smell the roses,” Mamoru repeated, frozen in his seat. Could it be _that_ simple? “Odango, you’re a genius! Thank you!” he collected his things hurriedly.

“No problem…?”

“Could you do me another favor?” he asked her as an afterthought.

“I don’t know…” she said non-commitally.

“Don’t worry! You’ll like this one. Can you wait here for Motoki-kun and tell him that I had to run? Tell him that I’m sorry for being so flaky lately!”

Her eyes gleamed in excitement.

“Certainly!”

Her sudden delight irritated him. He quashed the feeling. Why did he care if she had a crush on Motoki? So did half of the girls that came into the Crown Arcade.

“Mamoru-san!” she called after him just before he made it through the door. He turned back, surprised that she knew his name. “You left your picture,” she called holding up the napkin.

“It was just a sketch!” he yelled back. “You keep it!”

He was inordinately pleased to see that she clutched it towards her chest rather than tossing it cruelly away.

“Thank you!”

…

The best word to describe Chiba Mamoru’s apartment was spartan. He didn’t own anything except books – mostly textbooks on various topics from ancient mythology to physiology. The bookshelves and kitchen counters alike could pass a white glove test randomly any day of the week. A few tasteful art pieces inhabited the walls, but they remained abstract and impersonal – adding no warmth to the living environment. His own work was never put on public display. The apartment served as a place to exist and to sleep. Nothing more.

The door flung open and Mamoru dropped his bag uncharacteristically to the floor before settling himself into a lotus position on the hard wood floor immediately adjacent to the doorframe, too eager to find a more comfortable corner.

He had been going on about this the wrong way. He had been picturing the garden constantly, but remembering it was so much more than the picture. She had said he had to feel _everything_ it was to be there. He had to smell the roses.

He started with the visualization, which now came so easily to him. Now he need to add in the sensory details that made the experience more than real to him. He imagined the feel of a slight breeze that seemed to move through the courtyard. He listened for the sound of the babbling fountain. He filled his mental garden with row after row of multi-colored blooming roses. He imagined walking up to one, and plucking the red beauty from its stem. He brought to his face, inhaling the sweet and calming fragrance, feeling the soft petals brush against his lips.

He came back to himself in a flash. He was back in his apartment. Everything was exactly the same, except he held an actual rose in his hand.

He stared at the blooming ruby red flower. A petal fell into his lap. Before he knew it silent tears were overflowing, falling onto the impossible living artifact.

The dreams were real.

………..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes on Japanese words/honorifics.  
> If you're reading in this fandom you probably already know these words, but just in case:  
> Odango = dumpling  
> atama = head  
> baka = idiot  
> youma = monster/demon
> 
> Odango Atama refers to how Usagi does her hair. Mamoru thinks her buns look like dumplings.
> 
> I really like the honorifics (defined below). They are extremely important in Japanese culture. Most of the time even after having a friend for decades the honorifics are still used. In general, how you address someone (nicknames, honorifics, etc.) is a really big deal. You have to be really really close (often romantically involved - and even then...) to not use them at all. They are also awesome in writing because you can signify how a relationship is changing with the use of a single three letter title. It's awesome. I think the western world should adopt a similar system! 
> 
> san - polite formal title given to an acquaintance.  
> kun - personal title given to close male family and friends or small male children.  
> chan - personal title given small cute things, close female family and friends, and lovers (which explains Mamo-chan for me finally!)  
> sama - title given to someone of significantly higher rank.  
> oniisan – big brother (Usagi always refers to Motoki in this fashion because of the nature of their relationship, but they are not actually siblings).  
> oneechan – big sister  
> sensei – teacher 
> 
> This work is sort of a character study for me and as such will always be from Mamoru's perspective or another character that is observing him directly like Motoki. I may make an exception or two towards the end as I just need some stuff in the villain's perspective just to keep the story coherent. But I will never be writing in Usagi's perspective for this little adventure. 
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoy!


	2. Tranformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my old followers, this chapter has most all the new stuff. Thanks to smfan72 and my sisters for providing the feedback that led to most of these additions!!
> 
> Some of the dream sequences here are a little disjointed with multiple flashes in one dream. This is totally intentional. I have tried to be explicit with the scene changes, but still maintain that we’re in the same dream using a single . instead of my usual …. Please let me know if it doesn’t make sense in any spot!

**Chapter 2: Transformation**

_The prince stepped through the gleaming silver archway into the open courtyard filled with the queen’s guests. The stars of the Sol System twinkled around the blue orb nestled overhead in the open night sky. A string quartet weaved lively music masterfully through spinning dance partners. Vibrant colored skirts spread open like blooming flowers with each carefully choreographed turn._

_He waded through groups of onlookers at the edge of the dance floor, searching for the reason he had come._

_His eyes found the golden maiden in a shimmering white dress that clung to her form, accentuating the curve of her hips. A small white domino mask spread over her eyes obscuring her expression and emotions. He moved toward the slightly raised platform in eager anticipation before he realized a long line of suitors stood ready and more than willing to take the princess’s hand in greeting and dance. He scowled at the sight, both because of the competition and the sense that she was being pursued as some sort of grand prize._

_She handled the situation better than he ever had, listening attentively to each suitor as if he was the most important person in the universe, giggling delightedly in all the right places. Swirling gracefully in the arms of a dozen men as if it was the only place she desired to be, but really showing no preference for one over the other. She was so good._

_She was_ too _good, he realized._

_His eyes moved past the girl in white to another golden-haired beauty that stood at her side and shadow – dressed in a blushing pink gown. Her golden hair had been woven into an intricate maze of ribbons and braids with carefully separated tresses spilling over each shoulder and down her back. He skirted around the “princess” and her entourage to the maiden’s side. Her cerulean eyes twinkled at him from underneath a mask as she bowed her head to him in a respectful silent greeting._

_He summoned a pink rosebud from the ethos and inserted the delicate bloom into her sun-kissed tresses._

_“Milady, I would consider myself forever blessed if you would honor me with a dance.”_

_She laughed as she took his proffered hand. Together, they stepped into the pool of intricate music to join the other dancers._

_They fell into the rehearsed patterns easily, moving together as if they were of one mind. He rejoiced in the feeling of her body pressed against his own. He could feel the muscles in her back and legs tightening and pulsing as they moved together in time with the music. The tempo increased, but she never hesitated – their steps remained completely in sync, only inches apart._

_He swirled her into a dip as the waltz came to an end, before pulling her back up against him. She breathed heavily trying to catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed. She had never looked more beautiful._

_He leaned forward planting a gentle kiss on her soft lips._

_“You should play your own lady’s maid more often,” he whispered playfully, knowing that if she had been the recognized princess at the banquet there was no way they could be lost in the crowd. No way that he could kiss her._

_“How did you know?” she asked with a glance toward her doppelganger._

_“I would recognize you anywhere my love,” he boasted with mock arrogance._

_“Anywhere?” she challenged._

_“Any place, any time,” he insisted._

_“I may hold you to that my prince.”_

He awoke naturally with a smile and no desire to move as he reviewed the dream experience in his mind’s eye. Then he bolted upright – realizing that he had summoned a rose within the dream itself. And he had summoned a completely different type of rose in the dream – a pink rosebud to match the princess’ gown. Could he do that now?

He visualized a different corner of the garden – he imagined the princess in her flowing blushing pink gown. And suddenly there was a small pink rose in his hand. 

He began experimenting with different emotions and visualizations and he began manifesting other varieties. Varieties he had never seen outside of his dreams. 

After an hour he looked down and was somewhat amused to find his bed covered in the prickly flowers.

What was he going to do with all these roses?

…

Mamoru wandered into the arcade looking for his best friend. 

“Mamoru-kun!” one of the waitresses greeted. He turned and smiled at his best friend’s little sister, Unazaki, in an orange summer dress with a frilly white apron over the top. He hadn’t seen in her awhile as their schedules just didn’t overlap often.

“Zaki-chan!” he greeted with a genuine smile. “How are you?”

“I’m well enough. Volunteering for an extra shift means I don’t have to spend the afternoon studying!” the brunette said brightly.

“Unazaki-chan,” he began disapprovingly.

“Don’t start, Mamoru-kun! I have one big brother already. I don’t need another,” she interrupted.

“You wound me, Zaki-chan,” he said dramatically, only half in jest. After so many holidays spent with the Furuhatas, in many ways she was like a little sister to him as well.

“You know what I mean!” 

He grinned. “Yeah, I do. Is Motoki-kun around?”

She shook her head. “But he should be back in about twenty minutes.”

So Mamoru was left waiting in his usual stool with his favorite hazelnut blend listening to the inane chatter of eighth grade girls over a jewelry sale.

“I don’t know which one to pick, Naru-chan! They’re all so pretty!” Usagi squealed over the flier. “And so affordable!”

“I know! I don’t know what my mother is thinking!” the red headed girl cooed delightedly.

“Oooh! Look at this one!” Usagi bounced to her toes.

“It’s perfect Usagi-chan! The sapphire will match your eyes!”

“And make me look more mature!”

“I don’t know Odango,” he commented dryly, peering over her shoulder at the picture of a gold ring set with a princess cut blue sapphire. “Isn’t that an engagement ring? You might try getting a boyfriend first…” He turned his attention from the advertisement back to her. “Oh wait…” he drawled. “That might be a bad idea. You’d be waiting an _awfully_ long time.”

She whirled around pinning him with a heated glare.

“No one asked you, baka!”

“No, that nickname doesn’t fit me. You see, I actually ace my exams,” he said with a smirk.

“It applies perfectly well to your inability to treat a lady properly,” she quipped back.

“Don’t you think that the term ‘lady’ is a bit of a stretch?”

Her eyes watered with frustrated tears, but her friend reassured her with a soothing arm.

“Come on, Usagi-chan! Ignore him! We have fabulous rings and earrings to go buy!”

Usagi allowed herself to be pulled away from the grinning Mamoru and he watched the two girls leave, a small black feline following in their wake. 

His smile faltered as he watched the small cat dart from behind a pole almost as it were stalking the pair. He had the strangest sense of déjà vu.

“You sick bastard,” Motoki said behind him with a laugh.

“Nice to see you too Motoki-kun,” Mamoru greeted, spinning his regular stool toward his friend, the strange cat forgotten.

“You actually _enjoy_ pushing that poor girl’s buttons,” his friend accused.

“What are you talking about?” Mamoru asked innocently.

“Usagi-chan!”

“She drives me crazy! I can’t stand her never ending mindless chatter!”

“Uh-huh,” his blond friend said skeptically.

“What are you implying?” Mamoru asked, though it was unnecessary. He knew exactly what Motoki was implying and it irritated him immensely.

“Apparently nothing.”

“Good.”

“I just wish she would leave me alone,” Mamoru added with a sigh.

“You think picking on her relentlessly is going to get her to leave you alone?” Motoki asked, the disbelief clear in his voice.

“Anyway!” Mamoru said dramatically, “I was coming to ask for a favor.”

“What’s up?” Motoki asked with an easy smile, allowing the subject change, but his eyes still danced in amusement. Mamoru suppressed his annoyance.

“The orphanage garden is being pruned and cut back to a more manageable level…” he said.

“Are you still taking care of the garden there?” Motoki asked in surprise. “I thought you hated going back there?”

“I always liked the garden,” Mamoru said defensively. “Anyway, there are piles and piles of branches from the rose bushes that are just going to decompose…

“And you want me to buy their roses?”

“You don’t have to pay for them!” Mamoru objected. “I just figured it’d be a shame for them to go to waste and I thought you could actually use them.”

“It seems unfair to give them nothing if they’re providing a service.”

Mamoru suppressed his annoyance. Leave it to Motoki to complicate his plans by bringing business transactions into them. Why did his friend _always_ have to be so fair-minded?

…

Mamoru smoothed the large canvas flat on his dining room table. He hoped to hang this particular rendition of the rose garden in his bedroom where he could see it every morning upon waking. So it had to be perfect. His first colored strokes with the colored pencils were barely visible to the casual observer. He had to add in the layers of detail gradually with just a few colors at a time to get the texture and shading just right.

He found himself sketching in the silhouette of the princess without even thinking about it, her back to him just as she leaned in to take in the scent of the flower – just as she had looked when he first turned around the corner in his dream. He froze, considering the new addition to his latest rendition. Why had he never included her before? She obviously belonged in the scene. She was what made the place come alive for him.

He needed to add her to the exercise, he realized. She was the most important element of his being in the garden. She had said to remember everything it felt to be there _in that moment_. She was most definitely part of that moment – perhaps the most important part.

He was tempted to drop the drawing immediately to test what the new meditation would bring, but somehow completing the visual memory was equally important to him. 

So he remained at the table for hours making the picture come alive before his eyes. Finally satisfied, he stepped back letting the scene fill his vision, the sensual details suddenly easy to imagine. He closed his eyes and he wasn’t imagining anything. He was _there_. And so was she.

_She positively glowed this evening. He forced himself to breath as he took in the site of her._

_He strode forward silently feeling the slight resistance of a cape attached to the lapels of his formal black tuxedo, flowing out behind him._

_“The moon herself does not hold a candle to you,” he whispered into her ear as he placed his gloved hands on either of her bare shoulders. He very much wished he could remove the pesky cloth barrier between them._

_She spun around, startled._

_“My prince! You are late!” she scolded though her eyes sparkled and she reached for his hand._

_“My apologies princess, I never meant to keep you waiting. Are you ready?” he asked, accepting her delicate hand within his own._

_“No, I suddenly need a moment to just look at you. It has been far too long.”_

_He grinned. “We don’t have to attend the masquerade at all if you would prefer to stay here… in the garden,” he suggested, readjusting the white mask that fit just over his eyes with his free hand._

_“Sounds perfect,” she purred, leaning into him, “but you know that we can’t. My mother is expecting me and with everything that has happened it’s probably not a great idea to just disappear… especially with you.” Regret tinged every word._

_He sighed. He despised the politics and traditions that kept them apart. He wanted to take her away – far from either of their worlds, but she would never agree. And so he had to settle for these secret shared moments at masquerades her mother loved to put together._

_“Well then, we should be off before I get any other bad ideas…” he suggested, bringing her hand to his lips._

The dream faded away and Mamoru sat unmoving for several moments trying to absorb the vision. He had never experienced anything so clear or detailed in any of his dreams. It had never occurred to him to even try to bring the dreams to life through meditation.

It was only when he stood up moments later to retrieve his journal that he realized that he was still wearing the tuxedo with all its accessories.

He moved toward the mirror to take in the formal costume. The cape hung gracefully, the red lining added a dramatic flare. He imagined that his movement would magnify the effect. He wore the white mask across his face with an elegant ebony top hat perched on his head. His last accessory came in the form of a gentleman’s cane carried in his gloved hands.

“You look ridiculous, Mamoru,” he said to himself, which was not strictly true. He looked magnificent – it just felt unnatural – the formal tuxedo was simply too much. He could currently pass for royalty. Certainly no one would identify him as the orphan he was in reality. He felt like an imposter.

He didn’t have much time to ponder this before an urgent panic gripped him. The feeling made no sense, but his heart was making a great effort to leap out of his chest. He moved out onto his balcony – the night was calm and quiet. No reason for alarm. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was needed somewhere. Without thinking, he leapt off the balcony.

Only after he had safely landed on the roof of the building across the street did he question his chosen action. He turned back toward his apartment amazed at the distance he had just cleared. Somehow he was impossibly stronger and more agile.

He shook his head. There would be time to figure this out later. Right now, he had to run. He didn’t know why, but he was compelled to head south.

He entered a shop through a second story open window knowing that he had reached his destination. He was not prepared for the sight that greeted him.

A woman with rough brown barklike skin, who was not quite human, stood in a black dress over a redheaded girl that had collapsed. He barely noticed the pair, his eyes were only for the young girl dressed in a blue and white sailor fuku pinned against the wall underneath the youma’s wooden claw. The girl with a golden tiara, crescent moon earrings, and knee high red boots. She was the reason he had felt compelled to come.

Fortunately, his unexplainable instincts were still in play. He pulled a rose out of nowhere without thinking and threw the unlikely projectile stem first. It pierced the youma’s wrist and the abomination jerked back in pain.

“Sailor Moon,” he spoke to the young heroine having no idea how he knew what to call her. “Now’s your chance!”

“But…” she bit down on her lip nervously. She was clearly out of her depth and yet she seemed strangely reluctant to flee.

“You _have_ to do this to save the girl.”

The sight of the fallen redhead seemed to convince her.

The monster came at her again and she screamed even as she jumped and dodged, mere millimeters ahead of her pursuer. 

The masked man found himself throwing numerous roses in quick succession at the youma to keep it on the defensive. This backfired as the monster moved away from him and toward the senshi.

Seemingly on instinct, Sailor Moon tore her tiara from her own head and shoved the suddenly glowing crescent into the youma’s chest.

The creature screamed eerily before it crumbled to dust.

They both stared at the pile in disbelief for several seconds. She eventually turned slowly towards him and he felt his chest flutter.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “Who are you?”

“My name is Tuxedo Kamen,” he internally kicked himself the second the words left his lips. It was a terrible name, more of a description really and not a very creative one at that.

“Tuxedo Kamen,” she repeated, her eyes wide. She, at least, seemed impressed.

The redheaded girl began to stir and he felt it was best to make his exit. 

“I won’t forget you Sailor Moon,” he said as he moved backwards through the window once again.

“I won’t forget you either!” she called after him.

Once back on the roof, he collapsed against an eave in total shock, his mind reeling from the events of the evening. Had he just helped kill a youma? It was disturbing to see the villainous creatures of his dreams in the flesh. Would there be more of them?

He glanced down at his gloved hands. How was he now able to move so fast? And jump so far? Who was this Sailor Moon? Was she his princess? She didn’t seem like it. She seemed just as shocked at all this as he had been and she hadn’t recognized him. The princess in his dreams had shown she knew exactly what was going on and had shown him how to become the masked vigilante. And yet, he felt drawn to the young warrior more than he had ever felt drawn to anyone.

…

That first battle was not the last time he encountered Sailor Moon. She seemed to always know where and when there was trouble. And _he_ sensed whenever she was in danger. He knew exactly one thing to be true: he had to help her. Even if the dreams hadn’t told him as much, he could feel it. He simply could not deny the compulsion to protect the young senshi.

The battles eventually became almost routine. His instincts seemed to fade as he learned to fight consciously, but this was actually somewhat of a relief as he felt he had more control and ability to strategize in different situations.

The strangest thing about these encounters was that he could never remember what Sailor Moon looked like after the battle was over. He could remember the details of her blue and white sailor fuku accented with a giant red bow at her chest and matching red knee high boots, but never more than that. But when he saw her again, he always recognized her and wondered how he could forget. He supposed it was some kind of protective glamour, but it made him doubt his memories.

But there was no ignoring the signal that danger had arrived.

So he was not surprised to find himself leaping across the Tokyo skyline at three in the morning without conscious thought. He followed the internal compass with the all too familiar terror pumping through his veins.

He watched the battle from a distance even as he rapidly approached. He stomach dropped as two youmas attacked her simultaneously from either side. His fear turned into a surge of pride as she expertly dodged a punch and countered with a vicious kick to the creature’s abdomen sending it careening to the ground, momentarily stunned.

He released three needlelike roses at the second fiend, preventing it from taking advantage Sailor Moon’s attention on its partner. He landed quickly to guard her back. 

“Nice of you to show up,” she spoke, the genuine relief in her voice taking out any sting the comment might have imparted.

The youmas both leapt forward. The two vigilantes stood back-to-back fending off the vile unnatural creatures.

“I can’t have you taking my aid for granted,” he shot back, a rare grin lighting up his features.

She grunted as she took a blow to her shoulder. He forced his own attacker back with a whirling cane before he drove a steel-hardened rose into the creature’s skull. It dissolved into dust. He turned on his heel and released another three projectiles over the heroine’s shoulder. None of the hits were fatal, but it succeeded in stunning the creature momentarily.

She barked a bitter laugh even as she released her tiara finishing the creature off. “No chance of that happening.”

Her cynicism bothered him. He knew it came from a place of exhaustion.

“Sorry to drag you out of bed in the middle of the night,” she apologized meekly looking down at her boots. “I should be able to handle the youmas on my own.”

His white-gloved hand gently pushed her chin up, forcing her to look up.

“Sailor Moon, it is my _honor_ to guard your back and aid you in your battles against these fiends. Know that your work is needed and appreciated,” he said feeling the need to encourage her.

She offered him a wide genuine smile that reached her eyes. Cerulean _blue_ eyes. How had he never noticed that before? Her glamour, he reminded himself. But then, why could he see them now? He lost himself in the shining pools.

“You too Tuxedo Kamen,” she said, breaking him from his reverie with a nod, her dangling moon earrings sparkled with her head’s movement. What had he just been thinking? Something about her eyes?

He shook off the muddled thoughts and returned her smile with one of his own.

…

Mamoru nursed the steaming hazelnut coffee praying that the caffeine would kick in soon. His whole body felt battered and sore from the previous night’s events. And the mental fog that came with multiple nights of sleep deprivation in a row still clogged his head despite it being four hours after noon.

“Motoki-oniisan!” an annoyingly bright and familiar voice screeched to his left. “Can I have my usual please?”

“Coming right up Usagi-chan,” the blond man assured with a smile before darting away to make the chocolate shake a reality.

The girl sat in the bright red stool turning back and forth slightly as she cradled her head in her hands.

“Odango, you’re late today,” he chided coldly. “Did you somehow manage to earn yourself double detention this afternoon?”

The sudden blush that bloomed across her cheeks confirmed that he had pegged the situation accurately.

“Haruna-sensei just doesn’t understand the troubles of a growing girl,” Usagi insisted stubbornly.

“Oh yes, your life is so hard Odango,” he mocked. “Between having to wake up on time and worrying about the next failing test your going to get back because you never bother to take the time to study. _No one_ can understand your struggles.”

Seriously, he thought, what did _she_ have to worry about in her carefree life? He longed for the days when the biggest stressor in his life had been passing algebra tests.

“Does it make you feel better about yourself to put others down baka? Does that smug superiority make up for not having friends or people that care about you?” she countered hotly.

He stiffened at the verbal assault.

“You have _no idea_ what I deal with in my life!” she continued. “So don’t pretend to know me Mamoru-baka!”

“Why would I want to Odango?” he countered, his blood boiling. “Is there anything you love more than sleep and food? Do you do _anything_ worthwhile without whining or attempting to avoid it altogether?”

Her lower lip trembled as she fought off tears. He remained unaffected. He would not feel guilty. She had it coming!

 _Did she though? You_ did _provoke her. You could have just sat there silently enjoying your coffee_ , his mind felt compelled to point out. Why _hadn’t_ he just continued staring into space? Why did he always feel so compelled to talk to her? To insult her?

“One day you’re going to wish you had been nicer to me baka,” she finally managed stoically.

“Don’t hold your breath,” he advised coldly.

“Someday, your dream girl is going to waltz into your life. Only you’re not going to recognize her. And you’ll find yourself saying something awful to her. Good luck trying to win her over after that!”

He tensed, the comment hitting a little too close to home. Maybe he _was_ cold and distant. Maybe he was deliberately cruel to others to keep them away. But he _had_ to be in order to survive! He didn’t have the loving supporting family she took for granted. He had to keep secrets from those closest to him to protect them from his ‘extracurricular’ activities. He had a huge responsibility to protect the civilians from paranormal monsters.

What did she know of any of that?

She did not wait for his response. She stormed away to the opposite corner of the arcade joining her red-headed friend in a booth.

He whirled to Motoki who had been standing frozen listening to their exchange for who knew how long.

“What did you tell her?” Mamoru demanded.

“How could you ask me that?” Motoki asked with deathly calm. Mamoru froze at his friend’s cold anger. Motoki often teased and ridiculed his oldest friend – he worried and mothered him when Mamoru obsessed over dreams or tried to isolate himself. But true anger was something Motoki never inflicted on anyone – certainly not his best friend.

“I…” Mamoru stuttered.

“I haven’t told her, or anyone else, Mamoru-kun,” Motoki interrupted. “You _know_ that I wouldn’t,” he added in a disapproving tone.

“I’m sorry Motoki-kun,” Mamoru said softly, suddenly unable to meet his friend’s eyes, filled with disappointment as they were.

“It’d be worth more if you apologized to _her_ ,” Motoki said coldly.

“Motoki-kun!” Mamoru objected. “I can’t. She…”

“…pushes your buttons,” Motoki filled in with a slight mocking smile.

“It’s not that,” Mamoru denied instantly. “I… I just need to actually get some sleep.”

“Then I suggest you go home Mamoru-kun,” Motoki suggested, his voice once again ice. “Before you upset any more of my customers in your fatigue.”

Mamoru was too tired not to feel the sting of his friend’s condemnation. But he just nodded. He would make it up to Motoki later. He needed that sleep.

…

_She sat next to him on a marble white bench in the center of the garden – her head resting gently on his shoulder with her golden hair spilling onto his chest. He pulled a rose into existence carefully._

_He turned the steel tipped blood red rose over in his hand, mindful of its thorns before offering it to her. She accepted the gift with a small smile._

_“How is that possible?” he asked wondering, not for the first time, where the summoned flowers came from._

_Sparkling sapphire eyes considered the question carefully._

_“The earth is a vast reservoir of energy. It naturally moves to you and through you. The physical matter of solid objects is merely an illusion. You can manipulate that energy into different forms,” she explained._

_“Why roses?”_

_She laughed. “You’ll have to ask yourself that my love. What do roses mean to you?”_

_He pondered the question. He didn’t really know, but the flowers soothed him. He suspected the hidden personal meaning behind the fragrant ruby red blossoms had something to do with her._

_“They’re not ordinary roses,” he commented. “The stems are solid and as strong as steel.”_

“I’m sure you could solve that problem,” she encouraged softly with a coy smile. 

_Problem? He found it to be immensely useful. He pulled a second one into his hand and attempted to snap the stem in half. He couldn’t do it._

_“How do I have these abilities? Why am I the only one?” he asked continuing to examine the unlikely weapon._

_“You think you’re the only one?” she asked, her eyes dancing with suppressed amusement._

_“You mean_ anyone _can do this? Or are you just talking about the senshi?”_

_“Well, everyone has the potential. But it sometimes takes lifetimes before it manifests.”_

_“So why has it manifested for me?”_

_“You mean other than the fact that I am teaching you?” she playfully teased him._

_He nodded, wondering once more how and why she was instructing him._

_“You are this planet’s heir,” she said simply._

_He froze. That had not at all been where he expected her explanation to go._

_“What does that mean?” he finally asked._

_She shrugged, “It means that your connection to the planet is stronger than most humans. Which makes it easier for you to feel her pain and tap into her strength. And harder for you to ignore her plights.”_

_“This is why I have to fight youmas?”_

_“That is always your choice,” she insisted softly._

_He disagreed. There wasn’t a choice at all. As long as Sailor Moon fought she would need him. He could not ignore her call._

_“Why does Sailor Moon fight to protect this planet then?” he asked. “Does the planet have more than one heir?”_

_The princess laughed again. “Sailor Moon and her Senshi swore to protect the entire Solar System long ago.”_

_“So I protect the planet by protecting her?”_

_Somehow he liked the thought that the battles he fought served an even greater purpose than protecting innocent civilians or discovering who he was._

_“You have another task,” she corrected._

_“Are you saying I’m not to protect her?” he demanded angrily, jumping to his feet._

_She considered him carefully._

_“It doesn’t matter what I say – you will always choose to protect her,” she whispered sadly, her eyes piercing through him._

_He leaned forward and cupped her face in his hand. “My heart belongs only to you,” he assured her softly._

_She smiled, “I never doubted it love, but everything is more complicated than you know.”_

_“So tell me,” he begged. He wanted to know everything._

_“You do have another task. One you must complete if the world is to have any chance.”_

_He gestured for her to go on._

_“You need to forgive your vassals.”_

_Some part of him must have known what she was talking about because his core twisted painfully in dread._

He had no time to process his given mission as he tore awake. The dread he felt in the dream had multiplied ten fold in reality as his senses informed him that Sailor Moon was fighting for her life.

He followed the invisible pull of his sixth sense to a mega-club in the neighboring Shibuya district. Laser lights flashed blinding him as music of the nightclub still played with blaring volume, but the once dancing customers had fallen to the ground in crumpled heaps. A youma stood over the unnaturally silent young teenaged crowd gleefully absorbing energy. 

Sailor Moon stood pinned against the wall, her form covered in viscous yellow slime. She struggled violently in panic. He could feel her terror as she fought for air, pounding through his blood.

“Jadeite-sama will be most pleased,” the youma said to itself.

Tuxedo Kamen furiously struck his cane against the youma’s skull with deadly precision. He did not watch the youma dissolve into dust. Instead, he leapt toward the young heroine and slit open the suffocating mask over her mouth. She gasped for the life giving air.

Urgent gulps turned into hysterical convulsive sobs and he took her into her arms. He held her awkwardly, rocking her back and forth, trying desperately to sooth her, even as he tried to slow his own racing heart.

“Hey,” he said gently into her ear as he rocked her. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

She shook her head in denial as she continued to sob uncontrollably into his tuxedo. He clutched the petite girl to him to both comfort her and reassure himself that she was indeed still alive – that he hadn’t been too late.

“I can’t do this,” she eventually whispered. “I’m just a klutz! And I’m always late and I’m just abysmal in school! Completely irresponsible most of the time. Who in their right mind ever thought _I_ was cut out for this?”

“I don’t think anyone is cut out for this Moon,” he whispered gently, rubbing her back.

She laughed hysterically.

“You seem to be!” she countered, her voice shrill.

He shook his head. “It’s all adrenaline, instinct, and guesswork,” he admitted.

“Really? It seems like you know what you’re doing.”

“It seems like you know what you’re doing too,” he reassured.

“Really?” she sniffed looking up at him with bright eyes.

He laughed at the hope in her voice – the desire for approval. She seemed incredibly young to him at that moment. He nodded in answer to her question.

“Well, at least I know how to _look_ like a hero, even if I don’t _feel_ like one,” she said with an ironic smile. He could not agree with the sentiment more.

“That’s better,” he whispered returning her smile. He turned toward the crowd of collapsed teenagers. He bent down to check for breathing and pulses. 

“They’ll be fine,” he announced. She drew in a shaky relieved breath. And he pulled her into his arms again and just held her in case she broke down again. She did not. In fact, her breathing evened and her pounding heart slowed. 

“You okay to get home?” he finally asked.

“Yes, of course,” she said, pushing herself gently away as if to show him she could stand on her own without his support.

His smile widened. She was so strong. Resilient. And independent.

Secretly he wished he had an excuse to pull her back against his chest, which now felt strangely cold.

…

Mamoru turned back to his newspaper the second he caught the familiar bobbing blond odangos outside the automatic sliding glass doors. He tried to read the story, but his brain refused to process the text below. Instead, his senses focused on the new arrival. He made himself ignore her. Motoki was right – if he wanted her to leave him alone he had to not interact with her at all. 

She was not alone. An unfamiliar girl in an identical school uniform stood slightly to her side. She had short-cropped blue hair that curled around her face and she carried herself with a dignity far beyond her years.

“Umino-kun!” Usagi greeted as she dragged her new friend over to the browned haired nerdy boy with glasses that was unfortunately sitting in the stool right next to him. “What are you doing here?”

“Usagi-chan, I… I…”

Usagi ignored the boy’s nervous stammers. “Relax Umino-kun. I won’t rat you out to your parents!”

The boy sighed in relief.

“This is my friend Mizuno Ami,” Usagi said gesturing to the shy girl at her side who still had yet to say a word.

“You’re Mizuno Ami?” the boy greeted incredulously. “Ranked number two in all of Japan?”

The blunette blushed deeply.

“Not today,” Usagi corrected. “Today, she is just a middle school student having fun hanging out at the arcade with her friends.”

“How like you, Odango, to be corrupting the city’s model students with your destructive habits,” Mamoru interjected despite his better judgment.

“No one asked you baka!” the girl screeched whirling around to face him. She quickly took the hand of her new friend and dragged her toward a nearby game console. “Come on Ami-chan! You need to meet Sailor V!”

Mamoru watched as the blond girl pushed her shy companion into playing game after game. He couldn’t help but smile, noticing how much the new girl soaked up the love and attention. Odango may not be the most responsible or successful student, but she sure had a way with people.

…

Mamoru flipped through the chemistry chapter. He sat on his own couch opposite his lab partners. So far, the textbook had been less than useless in aiding them through the challenging problem set that made up this week’s homework.

The mysterious dark haired beauty, Meioh Setsuna tapped the butt end of a pencil repeatedly on the coffee table as her maroon eyes scanned through Motoki’s work with a slight frown on her face.

“One point six thousand kilograms per cubic meters?” Setsuna questioned, scowling at the problem before her, “That can’t be right Motoki-kun. The density of ice should be less than liquid water. You must have gone wrong somewhere. 

“Mamoru-kun, can you come help me figure this out?” she asked, turning toward him.

Mamoru couldn’t respond. His chest had grown tight with foreboding.

“Earth to Mamoru-kun!” Motoki called, waving a hand in front of his face.

But Mamoru ignored the incessant call for his attention. Instead, he clutched at his heart. He took carefully measured breaths trying to calm himself, but his anxiety only grew. He needed to get out of there before the transformation manifested of its own accord.

“I… I need some air,” he managed through gritted teeth before tearing himself away from the table. He bolted toward his own bedroom door, leaving his friends gazing after him in bewilderment.

Once in the cover of his room he released the transformation and made his exit through his own bedroom window.

He leapt from building to building barely aware of his surroundings following the invisible pull like a magnet to a block of steel. Somehow the urgency never lessened no matter how many engagements he and the Lunar Senshi had survived together.

He crashed through a window and rolled back to his feet ignoring the irritation of tiny glass shards cutting into his knees through the tuxedo. He couldn’t see anything – eerie cold fog hung in the air, bringing visibility to zero. He stepped forward and suppressed a biting curse as his shin encountered the corner of a small desk. He was in some kind of classroom. A cram school most likely, he concluded based on the building’s location.

He followed his instincts to Sailor Moon’s side. He could feel her fear bubbling to the surface. But she was managing it – she always did. He saw the threatening projectile rushing toward her. Before he could move, a blue icicle intercepted the unnatural paper shuriken and forced it to ground.

He stared at the unexpected piece of ice in disbelief. 

“Thanks Sailor Mercury!” Sailor Moon exclaimed in relief.

“My pleasure Sailor Moon!”

The masked vigilante turned toward the unfamiliar feminine voice and was able to just barely make out a second Sailor Senshi outfitted in blue. She did not seem impeded by the fog at all. He watched as she sent javelins of ice flying across the room – impaling the youma against the wall before it vaporized away in the breeze.

Tuxedo Kamen scowled in displeasure as the fog faded and revealed the second soldier in more detail. She stood shyly, her fuku outfitted with a deep blue bow at her chest and blue knee high boots in place of Sailor Moon’s similar red accessories. This mere slip of a girl had usurped his duty to protect the young heroine. He felt oddly replaced and unneeded.

 _Pull yourself together, Tuxedo Kamen_ , he thought. _Why would you_ complain _about something be done for you? Why wouldn’t you welcome the help? Doesn’t this mean that there are more resources to fight the youmas?_ More _people to keep her safe?_

He tipped his hat toward the two girls. “I guess you didn’t need me after all, Sailor Moon,” he said, tossing a wink to the newest addition to their team. The Senshi of Mercury glanced down toward the ground, a blush rising to her cheeks.

“I’m still glad you came Tuxedo Kamen,” Sailor Moon whispered.

His chest loosened at the sincerity of her words and he found himself grinning at her. Then he forced himself to turn back to her new ally.

“Nice to meet you Sailor Mercury. I’m glad that you are on our side,” he said in greeting. He would hate to be on the receiving end of those ice lances.

“The honor is mine Tuxedo Kamen-sama,” the girl said politely with a slight bow of her head.

He saluted them both before he made his exit back the way he had come. He made his way home, his mind awhirl at the presence of the newest senshi. Could there be more?

He returned to his bedroom and let the transformation drop before returning to the living room and his lab partners.

“Everything okay Mamoru-kun?” Setsuna asked, her eyes piercing into his own.

“Yeah, sorry about my sudden disappearance. Must have been something I ate. Did you make any progress in my absence?” he asked as he plopped back down on the couch as if his forty-minute absence was expected and normal behavior.

Neither of his guests commented or asked further questions – perhaps it _was_ a normal behavior. At least for him. He grinned, grateful for such friends.

…

_The young Terran heir glared at the board before him. The red and green tokens symbolizing enemy troops amassed at his southern border threatening the dominion it was his responsibility to protect._

_He looked up to see his blond opponent grinning innocently at him._

_“Something bothering you highness?” the youngest Shittenou asked, his hair had fallen into disarray that somehow made him look casual._

_The prince sighed. Jadeite’s reckless haphazard strategy in these types of games usually resulted in ultimate victory or catastrophic defeat. Nothing in-between. But it was still too early to tell which way the encounter would go._

_Nephrite on the other hand was a different story, he thought turning his attention to the few remaining green tokens on the board. Nephrite always lost horribly in the games. In battle, he tended to rely on his powers of foresight. But somehow, the stars didn’t seem to care about the outcome of a board game even if it was meant to train the Earth’s heir and Shittenou. Kunzite always forced him to participate in the training sessions anyway, saying that it was unwise to rely on such a talent._

_The prince deployed his reinforcements to fortify his front line before waving to Jadeite that it was his turn._

_His opponent gleefully moved his red tokens clear across the field to surround his territory on three sides._

.

_Youmas leapt out of the black portal that had just materialized and quickly surrounded the delegation on three sides. The prince pushed the princess to his rear protectively certain her senshi protectors could handle their own._

_“Mercury!” he shouted. The implied command was unnecessary – the fog already covered them like a protective blanket. He took the princess into his arms and leapt off the balcony he could no longer see, but knew was there. He landed neatly on the floor below with only a slight grunt._

_He pushed the princess to her feet and urged her forward. They made it around the corner at the end of the lavish corridor before he nearly crashed into her. She had lurched to a halt – the way had been block by his youngest Shitennou._

_“Going somewhere your highness?” cruel grey blue eyes met his own._

_The prince’s grip on his sword tightened._

.

_“You can’t move that many soldiers that far in one turn!” the black haired youth objected._

_“I can now!” his friend and protector gloated, displaying the special abilities tablet their instructor had granted him at the start of the scenario._

_The prince scowled. He had a feeling this would be one of those times when Jadeite trounced him. Why would Kunzite give him such an unfair advantage?_

_“To teach you a lesson.”_

_The prince jumped six inches out of his chair._

_“How do you do that?” he demanded of his mentor. Sometimes it seemed the older man could read his mind._

_Kunzite chuckled with a twinkle in his grey eyes. “You make it too easy lad.”_

_“So what’s the lesson oh wise teacher?” the prince asked._

_Calculating grey eyes studied him carefully. Perhaps Kunzite expected him to figure out the take away here himself. But just when he was about to hazard a guess, the snow-white haired Shittenou offered a soft explanation._

_“Your enemies will always have capabilities you do not expect. You must learn to prepare for the unexpected. To do otherwise is to invite defeat.”_

_“But that’s what I have you for, Kunzite!” the prince objected smiling._

_His mentor did not return the expression. “The Shittenou are sworn to your side and protection your highness,” he said carefully. “But there is always the possibility of separation or our death. The best way I know to defend you, is to prepare you for_ anything _that you may face.”_

.

_The prince twisted away from the enemy blade and thrust his own sword into his mentor’s now unguarded chest._

_Kunzite’s face stretched into an ugly smirk, an expression that looked completely unnatural on his mentor’s face. The prince froze._

_He turned just in time to see the glowing pink crystals conjured by the man dying beneath him. Crystalline ice plunged through his chest, the physical shock burned through every nerve. He couldn’t even manage a scream through the wall of pain._

.

Mamoru woke, gasping for air, clutching at his chest that felt like it was being ripped in two.

…

The automatic doors parted and Mamoru stepped into the bustling arcade drawing comfort from the familiar environment. His eyes immediately noticed Usagi in the booth closest to the counter, sitting across from a girl with incredibly long jet-black hair that he had never seen before. He passed by without comment before he froze and turned back. The blond girl had her nose in a book!

 _Odango reading?_ He could not believe it. Upon closer inspection, the volume revealed itself to be a Sailor V manga. He snorted with derision, feeling almost disappointed. Of course the girl wouldn’t be reading anything worthwhile.

He took his usual stool just as Unazaki arrived at the girls’ table with plates of American food.

“Thank you Unazaki-chan!” Usagi said, immediately lifting a fry from her plate, her nose still buried in her manga.

“Hino-san!” the waitress greeted the raven-haired girl delightfully. “I’ve only ever seen you at school! To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Violet eyes jumped upward toward the waitress.

“Furuhata-san!” the dark haired girl returned the greeting in surprise. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“I kind’ve have to,” the brown haired girl admitted. “My family owns the place. My brother and I help out often. He more than I since he has more time.”

“I understand,” Usagi’s friend said with a laugh. “I work at the Hikawa Shrine that is maintained by my grandfather.”

“Oh! That’s the place that sells those love charms!” Unazaki exclaimed. “Do they work?”

The dark haired girl rolled her eyes. “That remains to be seen,” she muttered. 

“Is Motoki-oniisan around today?” Usagi interrupted lowering her illustrated ‘book’.

Mamoru scowled at the question.

“No, he’s actually home sick today,” she informed them regretfully.

“How awful,” Usagi cooed sympathetically. “Does he need anything?”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Unazaki assured. “I’ll let him know you were asking after him.”

“Zaki-chan!” he called.

She turned and he turned over the empty mug mournfully to indicate it was empty.

“Be right with you Mamoru-kun!” she promised with a bright smile dashing back into the kitchen.

Usagi dove back into her reading, but the volume was immediately snatched from her fingers.

“Rei-chan!” Usagi whined grasping for the stolen comic book.

“Baka! You are not risking _my_ manga with all this food about! You might ruin it!” her friend chastised coldly.

Mamoru laughed darkly. 

Usagi groaned at the sight of him.

“Eating and reading managa are Odango’s two favorite pastimes!” he explained to Usagi’s newest friend. “Good luck getting her to stop either one. You’re better off not lending it to her at all. She will no doubt get greasy finger prints over every page.”

“Who are you?” the raven-haired girl demanded meeting his eyes with an angry protective glare. Mamoru lifted an eyebrow at the girl’s demeanor that had been condescending toward the blond only seconds before.

“He’s no one,” Usagi dismissed with a flick of her fingers.

“No one?” Mamoru echoed, turning to the girl. “For a ‘no one’ I see far too much of the goings on in your life. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were stalking me.”

“In your dreams!” she fired back.

…

_The wooden blade smacked painfully against his hand. He dropped his own practice sword with a hiss of surprise._

_“Nephrite,” the boy whined. “That hurt!”_

_“I’m sorry your highness!” his opponent apologized meekly. Their silver-haired instructor, Kunzite just laughed._

_The boy scowled at his impudence._

_“What are you blaming Nephrite for? You know not to leave that particular opening,” his teacher chastised. “Now do it again.”_

_Their blades came up. The prince studied his sparring partner’s chest for signs of movement. The pristine white uniform never even crinkled. Impatient, the prince leapt forward with a quick strike forward. He blow was easily deflected and once again the raven-haired boy found himself unarmed once again._

_“Such treason!” the prince mock complained as he bent to retrieve his blade once again._

_His four guardians laughed._

.

_A senshi outfitted in a green sailor fuku urgently whipped around the corner and hurriedly ducked her head in a small bow of respect._

_“What is it now?” the princess asked._

_“It wasn’t just the ambush. The entire Terran palace is under attack.”_

_“Attack from whom?”_

_Jupiter’s eyes flashed nervously to his own. And he felt his gut tighten._

_“Which one?”_

_“Nephrite,” she reported._

_His hands tightened into fists. That was all of them. Nephrite had been the last holdout of his own honor guard. But they had all turned, one by one, to Beryl’s contingent. He didn’t understand how or when it had happened._

_Had he not heeded their counsel every step of the way? Was he not the brother to them as they had all been to him? Had they truly feared the majestic creatures that inhabited other worlds? Why had they felt compelled to abandon him? To leave him alone?_

_A small hand gently uncoiled his fingers. He glanced up into watering blue eyes remembering her presence. He wasn’t alone. She would see to it that he was never again alone._

_“The earth is lost,” he managed stoically, never breaking away from the princess’s gaze. “It’s time to for a strategic retreat. Do you think the queen would be willing to add another to your honor guard?”_

_She smiled, the expression held no joy, only understanding and shared pain._

_He finally had to look away, wondering for the millionth time, how the witch had managed to steal away the hearts and minds of those most loyal to him._

.

_The prince fell backwards onto the hard ground with a painful thud._

_“Again!” Kunzite’s deep voice rung out through the courtyard._

_The prince sighed, brushing the rubble from his hands. Before he could move to comply a hand filled his vision._

_The young boy grinned up at the older boy framed in cascading mahogany hair and took the offer for aide gratefully. Nephrite might best him in nine of ten matches, but he never made the terran heir feel inferior or unworthy._

.

_The prince held his blade firmly against the youma’s strike._

_Distinctive mahogany hair flitted into his vision beyond the youma and he stumbled in shock. He cringed as he took a blow to the side that he should have been able to deflect without difficulty._

_He countered with a sweeping strike across the unnatural creature’s throat. Before the prince could take advantage of the momentary respite, Nephrite took the creature’s place._

_He struck like lightning again and again. The prince stumbled backwards barely managing to haphazardly evade the merciless never ending attacks. The prince had only felt so clumsy and inadequate once before when facing Kunzite._

.

_The prince leapt forward bringing his blade down hard. The white haired man swept his attack aside easily. The prince met Kunzite’s steel grey eyes, mentally grasping for some technique to break past his mentor’s guard. How could he surprise a man that knew his own fighting style better than himself?_

_The prince left his right guard open – a mistake he had long been trained out of. Take it! His mind screamed._

_“You’re getting tired highness. You know better,” the other man accused disapprovingly, as he took the opening._

_The prince twisted away from the enemy blade and thrust his own sword into his mentor’s now unguarded chest._

“Why? Just tell me why?” the prince demanded as he pulled his blade free. 

.

Forgive his vassals? It wasn’t possible. They had betrayed him.

_Why? Why had they betrayed him?_

…

Tuxedo Kamen watched as a silent guardian over the battle between the now three senshi and a youma. Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury had been joined by another. The new warrior was dressed in a red fuku and matching heels. She threw flames as Mercury attacked with ice. He did not envy the blue skinned youma as it was hit with both temperature extremes simultaneously.

He smiled with pride. The masked hero had thrown in a little help here and there, but between the Sailor Mercury’s precision and Sailor Mar’s fierceness he wasn’t much needed to supplement Sailor Moon’s determination.

He felt a surge of gratitude that she no longer had to face this alone – that she had friends at her back.

He wondered at the presence of the other Sailor Senshi – wondered why he could not feel them the way he could feel Sailor Moon. His dreams contained memories of both girls and two others. He had fought with them against hordes of youmas. If any experience would give you a connection with someone it should be fighting for your life together, wouldn’t it?

But no, he felt connected only to Sailor Moon, whom he didn’t remember at all. Who was she that she called to his blood?

…


	3. Revelations

Chapter 3: Revelations

“I don’t believe this!” the old man said in disgust as he folded up the paper. Mamoru turned toward the man in the barstool next to him in surprise.

“Bad news?” he asked.

“I just can’t believe that all this nonsense about girls dressed in school girl outfits fighting mythological creatures is considered news.”

“The Sailor Senshi?” a nerdy boy with glasses on the man’s other side asked, pushing away a half finished milkshake.

The old man rolled his eyes.

“They did bust a jewelry heist, not to mention the theme park, the pet shop, the health club, and the airport,” the boy listed off, counting on his fingers.

“Don’t you find these incidents strange?” someone else added. “It’s weird that there’s never anything valuable stolen. People just seem to get sick…”

Mamoru said nothing. His grip on the fork tightened. The youmas seemed to absorb life energy. Usually this meant their victims merely lost consciousness for a day or two once they had been rescued. Sailor Moon and her friends had arrived too late… once… The results had not been pretty.

“I still say it’s a bunch of hogwash! And I’m tired of it taking up half my newspaper,” the old man complained grumpily.

“How can you say that?” a dark haired girl objected. “The Sailor Senshi saved an entire cruise ship!”

“Pshh… Oh come on! Don’t tell me that you believe all that posh!”

“I have to. My parents were on that ship and if it wasn’t for Sailor Moon I probably would be an orphan!”

The older patron rolled his eyes. Mamoru was finding it more difficult to bite his tongue, but he felt it unwise to associate himself with any of the ‘vigilantes’. Luckily, Motoki was quick to come to the girl’s defense.

“Yumi-chan! I didn’t know that! I’m glad that they’re okay! It’s a good thing that we have the Sailor Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen to protect us from these strange criminals.”

Mamoru snorted in disgust.

“You don’t think so Mamoru-kun?”

“I guess I trust the official authorities over some crazy vigilantes,” he said manifesting as much scorn and derision as he could muster.

“These creatures don’t seem like your typical criminals. I, for one, am grateful that there are those equipped to handle these unnatural threats and are willing to help out,” Motoki countered.

“Guy wants to help out? Fine! To truly help out he should be stealthy, subtle. Makes you more effective,” Mamoru countered. “This guy isn’t trying to ‘help out’. He runs around in a bright red cape and top hat. He’s doing it for the recognition. If he just wanted to help he should be aiming for inconspicuous.”

“Amen to that!” the older man agreed, raising his glass.

“It’s not about anonymity,” Usagi broke in. Mamoru jumped at her presence. He had somehow missed her arrival. Her strange black feline shadow was in tow, as always.

“Then what’s with the mask?” he countered. “Why not show his face to all?”

“It’s about being a symbol,” she explained ignoring his objection.

Mamoru had to force an expression of superior amusement to disguise the smile that wanted to bloom across his face.

“Oh please Odango, enlighten us!”

“You think anyone _wants_ to go around fighting youmas all the time? Risking themselves like that? Turning themselves into targets? There are much easier ways of becoming famous or earning recognition. By putting on the crazy costumes the Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen are letting people know that they are protected. That they don’t have to be afraid! If these heroes stayed anonymous all we’d ever get are reports of random attacks and people would be afraid all the time! The flamboyant costumes act as a symbol of hope for people.”

Mamoru and Motoki both stared at her speechless.

“Usagi-chan!” her raven-haired friend hissed. “What are you _doing_?”

“Explaining to this baka that the Sailor Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen deserve people’s appreciation and respect for all of their sacrifices. Not scorn.”

“You don’t have time for that! You’re late for the study group.”

“What study group?” she asked, her lips falling into a small pout.

Her friend laughed awkwardly. “Usagi-baka! It’s no wonder you always fail those math tests!”

“Rei-chan!” Usagi whined. “I don’t want to study tonight! You promised to read my fortune…”

Mamoru watched the two girls leave, still arguing about the afternoon’s plans. He found himself touched by her impassioned rant. She thought his work was worthwhile. And she assumed that he was horribly conspicuous by choice to help and inspire people. He suddenly felt that perhaps he had judged her too harshly. Some fairly eloquent thoughts took place between the pair of odangos.

…

The attacks became more frequent and they would strike at any time of day so he wasn’t getting much sleep. And when he did sleep, he never felt like he got any real rest because of the dreams. It felt important to write them all down in detail, and yet the journaling was yet another task he had to keep up with.

It was all he could do to stay on top of his classes. Suddenly, Motoki was forcing him to stay over late and study rather than the other way around. Usually, Mamoru managed to present a smooth and competent facade to the world, but he was struggling to maintain it on top of the increased level of paranormal responsibilities. Most people still didn’t notice his slipping because he was bright, things usually came to him easily, and it didn’t hurt that Motoki had been covering for him with both their classmates and professors. But Motoki was getting impatient with him and Mamoru had no idea how to explain how or why his life had changed.

“Where were you?” Motoki demanded that afternoon upon his arrival at the arcade’s restaurant.

“What do you mean?”

“You know that lab we had yesterday?”

Mamoru froze. It was Thursday. He had a completely different schedule on Wednesdays that he had not followed yesterday at all.

“I’m sorry Motoki-kun. I completely forgot!”

Motoki eyed him stoically.

“What’s going on with you? Are you okay?” he finally asked.

“Yeah… just not sleeping well.”

“Nightmares?”

“Not really… just not sleeping,” Mamoru said allowing his frustration to seep through, but he could not explain that he woke up every other night compelled to run across the city over rooftops to rescue a young heroine he couldn’t even quite remember.

Motoki studied him for a long moment before he released a long sigh.

“Just show up this afternoon for the chem group okay?”

Mamoru nodded enthusiastically.

“Setsuna-chan and Reika-chan will be there as well. So don’t be flaky.”

So around lunch, Mamoru made a point of finishing the reading and silently prayed that he wouldn’t have to dash off in the middle of the study session. He really needed the review and he didn’t trust himself to work on it on his own. The weather was finally turning warm and he was still exhausted so he decided to walk to Motoki’s apartment to get his blood flowing.

He turned the corner a block away from his destination to see Usagi standing at a shop window. She seemed mesmerized by the formal gowns on display, the ebony cat clutched in her arms. He sighed. 

The two of them seemed destined to bump into each other everywhere. Running into her at the arcade and the restaurant above it was to be expected as the middle schoolers seemed to enjoy the hangout spot, but he also encountered her at the grocery store, at the video rentals, walking past the bus stop, even at the art gallery. Life had shown time and again that she could not be avoided. So she had to be tolerated.

Some days he was better at this than others. Today, he didn’t have the energy so he made a point of strolling past behind her, not bothering to say hello. But just as he passed by she backed up into him. The cat yowled in objection even as it leapt to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, spinning around. When she saw him she scowled.

“Hello Odango Atama,” he greeted. “Trying to find a wedding dress to match your engagement ring?” he asked mockingly, glancing at the white wedding gown on display.

“Why do you always bother me? Don’t you have better things to do?” she demanded.

“I could say the same thing to you Odango.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“But it suits you so well,” he said sweetly.

“So when is the special day?”

They both whirled toward the stranger, a tall man with flowing mahogany hair dressed in an impeccably clean and ironed grey suit.

“We’re not together,” Mamoru corrected.

“Definitely not,” Usagi echoed adamantly.

“Really? I could swear your union was written in the stars,” he commented with a sardonic grin.

“Absolutely not!” Usagi insisted again.

“Oh, my mistake,” the man said warmly. “Just the same, why don’t you come in and try on a dress?”

Mamoru’s gut tightened. He tried to ignore the unsettling sensation.

“She’s fourteen,” Mamoru objected, the hair on his neck prickling, “She’s not going to buy anything.”

“That’s alright,” the man said with a wink for Usagi. “The little lady should have the opportunity to feel pretty for a moment.”

She grinned, obviously delighted.

“I’m sorry, but have we met before?” Mamoru asked the other man.

“I do not believe so,” the stranger said, holding out his hand. “Sanjoin Masato.”

“Chiba Mamoru,” he said taking the offered hand.

Mamoru’s instincts screamed in warning the second they made contact.

“Pleased to meet you,” Masato said dropping his hand. “Would you like to come in little lady?” he asked invitingly over his shoulder as he entered through the main door.

She nodded eagerly and moved forward. Mamoru placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Usagi-chan, don’t go in,” he begged, “I have a really bad feeling,” he said sincerely.

She looked genuinely surprised at his concern and for a split second he thought she was actually going to listen. But then she shrugged and jerked her arm away.

“You can’t tell me what to do,” she hissed before turning into the shop.

Mamoru stared through the glass door watching the salesman guide Usagi through a rack of dresses.

“It’s just a bridal shop,” he tried to reassure himself. He was being ridiculous, most likely imagining things. He forced himself to continue on his way toward Motoki’s apartment. He made it about halfway down the block when he remembered where he had seen the man before. His blood turned to ice.

He charged back to the shop and practically barreled through the door only to find Usagi standing in front of a three paneled mirror dressed in the pure snow-white gown. Her hair, now loose and free, fell past her knees. She swirled in utter delight. For a split second he lost all sense of urgency and just stared at her, mesmerized.

“Mamoru-san, I’m starting to think you actually _are_ stalking me,” her voice broke through his reverie.

“Don’t be ridiculous Odango,” he managed to say. “I told you I had a bad feeling. I wasn’t about to just leave.”

“You’re actually worried for me?” she asked in delight.

“Odango…” he began insultingly when he lurched in pain. His right shoulder exploded in agony. The sensation quickly spread throughout his body and he fell to his knees. He turned just in time to see “Masato Sanjoin” grinning in satisfaction.

He tried to summon the vision in order to transform, but he couldn’t hold the thought. He had never felt so completely drained. Everything went black.

.

He was dimly aware of Usagi screaming. He fought to stay conscious. If Nephrite hurt the innocent girl, Mamoru would never forgive himself, but he was only managing a few seconds at a time before he faded out again.

.

Sailor Mars had arrived. Nephrite sent her careening through the window. Mamoru struggled to stand and succeeded only in blacking out completely.

.

“Nephrite! I won’t let you hurt my friends!” a girl’s outraged voice rung through his skull and he managed to look up just in time to see the salesman turned villain impaled by several ice lances.

The impaled man coughed. “Well fought… Sailor… Mercury,” he managed before his body stilled. Then he almost seemed to dissolve. A dark stone fell to the ground. Mamoru stared at the stone for several seconds not able to take his eyes off of the polished object before the blackness overtook him once again.

.

_“Gotcha!” the brown haired lad jumped down from a tree and tackled him to the ground. He wrestled away the boy’s token and took off running._

_“Nephrite! No fair! That’s cheating!!” his young boyish voice whined as he ran to catch up._

_The laughter of the older lad running ahead, echoed through is head._

.

When Mamoru came to, he found himself strapped to a gurney. Usagi was receiving similar treatment two or three meters away. The bridal shop was filled with police officials and a few paramedics. Motoki stood at his side.

“Motoki?” he asked.

“Mamoru-kun! You’re alright!”

“I’m sorry that I flaked again,” he managed. Motoki merely smiled.

“Mamoru-kun, what on earth were you doing in a bridal shop?” he asked, his eyes dancing. “And with Usagi-chan?”

Mamoru groaned. He was never going to hear the end of this.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he insisted.

“Sure,” he agreed amicably.

“What happened?” Mamoru asked. 

“It looks like you were attacked by a youma. Luckily, the Sailor Senshi arrived and saved you,” Motoki explained lightly.

“This isn’t funny,” Mamoru objected, hearing the humor in his friend’s voice.

“Do you hear me laughing?” Motoki held his hands up in innocence.

Mamoru grunted. He tried to take a look around, but found he couldn’t really turn his head.

“Help me get out of this thing,” he said struggling against the straps.

“Mamoru-kun, you should at least get checked out by the paramedics,” his friend objected. “You’re not super human.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted as he tore away the last restraints and jumped back to his feet. He actually felt more rejuvenated than he had in weeks.

“If he gets to get up, why do I have to stay strapped here?” he heard Usagi complaining to her own friends. He grinned in spite of himself before he turned his attention to the ground.

He found the stone under a rack of fallen dresses. The polished stone was so dark that it almost looked black, but upon closer inspection Mamoru saw that it was in fact a deep green. He picked it up. The stone felt warm to his touch.

“Nephrite,” he whispered.

He could almost hear the boyish laughter from his dream echo through the room.

“What did you find?” Motoki asked.

“Nothing,” Mamoru said, slipping the polished stone into his pocket.

…

“This can’t be right! It doesn’t make sense,” Mamoru growled, glaring at the columns of lab data Motoki had been kind enough to share with him. “Are you sure that you used point two molarity hydrochloric acid?”

Motoki shrugged.

“Motoki-kun! This is kind of essential to the calculations,” Mamoru scolded.

“I honestly don’t remember,” Motoki said defensively. “Show up next time and you can prevent me from making any procedural mistakes…” he trailed off and starting walking around the counter.

“Wait, where are you going?” Mamoru complained. “We’re not done yet.”

He gestured toward a lone girl sitting at a booth in the corner. Mamoru rolled his eyes, but followed his friend anyway.

Motoki took a seat across from the tall brunette while Mamoru elected to stand off to the side, making it clear that he had no intentions of joining any conversation.

“Why are you sitting here all alone?” Motoki asked warmly.

“I don’t know anyone else,” she responded crisply. 

“Are you new to the area?”

“Been here a week.”

“And you haven’t been able to meet any new friends?”

“I think they’re all afraid of me. Apparently there’s some rumor that I was kicked out of my old school for fighting.”

“Is it true?” Mamoru asked in spite of himself, genuinely curious.

“Maybe,” she said with a slight smile.

Mamoru and Motoki both laughed. Mamoru took a seat at that moment, deciding he liked her. She exuded toughness and a refusal to let anyone get under her skin.

“Chiba Mamoru,” Mamoru held out his hand.

“Kino Makoto,” she said taking his hand briefly.

“And this horrible busy body, is Furuhata Motoki.”

Motoki gave a small wave in greeting from across the table.

She grinned shyly, her eyes sparkling.

Mamoru inwardly groaned. The last thing Motoki needed was yet _another_ admirer.

“Don’t worry Mako-chan,” Motoki assured her. “I’m sure there are those brave enough to get past the rumors to the real you.”

Just then, Usagi walked in followed, as always, by her black familiar. Speak of the devil.

And sure enough over the ensuing days, Mamoru observed Usagi adopt the new girl in an instant. He was amazed by her compassion and emotional intuition. She just seemed to recognize when others were in pain and she seemed incapable of _not_ offering comfort and encouragement. She was as gentle as Motoki and even less judgmental, if that was possible.

He approached the pair as they arrived at the arcade one afternoon. Usagi turned and visibly tensed when she noticed him. He felt his jaw clench and completely forgot what he had originally been going to say.

“Odango Atama,” he said mockingly.

“Ignore him,” Usagi warned her new friend, “he delights in bursting bubbles.”

“Now Odango, that is hardly accurate!”

She stared at him flatly.

“I delight in bursting _your_ bubble,” he corrected.

She stuck a small pink tongue out at him.

“I just wanted to say hello to Mako-chan. She seemed rather lonely the other day. I’m glad you’ve taken her under your wing,” he said sincerely.

Usagi turned suspicious eyes toward him as if she couldn’t believe he would worry about anyone else.

“Are the two of you close?” Makoto asked suddenly.

Usagi burst out laughing.

“It’s just that you tease each other so I just thought…” she tried to explain.

“No,” he said slowly as Usagi continued to laugh, “Odango Atama detests my very existence.”

“You started it!” she insisted.

“If you say so,” he didn’t argue. “Sayonara Mako-chan!” he waved as he moved past them. “Glad to see things are looking up.”

“Thank you Mamoru-san!” Makoto called after him.

He headed home thinking of the bubbly blond girl. She threw herself into every aspect of her life with such energy and passion. And she seemed to go out of her way to adopt every lonely soul that crossed her path. Every lonely soul except his own. He certainly hadn’t been all that friendly or welcoming, but that never seemed to deter her where others were concerned.

He sighed. There was no point in letting this run in circles through his head. He had his portion of the government project to research. He had no idea when he’d get to that. He was so tired, but he really needed to start on the project. He wouldn’t have time to work on it tomorrow. So he spread out his books over the coffee table. Unfortunately, he underestimated the level of his fatigue and fell asleep within minutes. 

…

_“It’s almost time,” the princess informed him with a gentle smile. He felt like he was falling into her blue eyes._

_“Time for what?” he asked._

_“Time for us to meet again,” she assured him. His stomach flipped in anticipation._

_“When?” he asked eagerly._

_“We will meet again as soon as…”_

_Mamoru watched on in horror as she faded away and vanished midsentence. Suddenly it was Usagi standing there in her school uniform with her annoyingly bright smile._

_“What are you doing here?” he demanded. The irritating girl had just interrupted something important. Something special._

_Her smile instantly transformed into a familiar scowl, “Nice to see you too baka!”_

_And she swirled away, her golden hair bouncing in her wake._

Mamoru woke in a rage. It was bad enough that Usagi seemed to pop up everywhere in his life, and now she was invading his dreams! The dreams were sacred. The dreams were private. She had absolutely no place in them.

“Why are you so angry with _her_?” He asked himself. “It was _your_ dream.”

He could no longer deny the affection he felt for the girl as much as he tried to. Her presence in the dream was the evidence of his greatest fear. He felt like he was betraying the princess. The girl of his dreams had been the only one who had been there for his entire life.

He wouldn’t let himself do that. Not when he was this close. Hadn’t she just said that they would meet again soon?

His thoughts were interrupted as his chest tightened in panic. Sailor Moon needed him. Where did _she_ fit into all of this? He wondered even as he transformed. What did he feel for _her_?

He leapt from his balcony with practiced ease following the internal compass that always pointed him to where he was needed. Within moments, he arrived to find, not three sailor senshi as expected, but four. And all of the girls were in trouble.

Mars and Mercury stood back-to-back fending off three attackers at once with constant blasts of ice and fire, but they appeared to be losing ground.

Another youma held Sailor Moon and the new girl trapped with some kind of unnatural rope, black cackling energy moving up and down the restraints. The girls were definitely in pain, but fighting it. The new girl in a green sailor fuku sent a bolt of lightning of her own toward the fiend. The monster screeched in pain, but she didn’t let go of the rope and the green soldier fell to her knees as the energy drain continued.

“Jupiter, it’s no use,” Sailor Moon called.

“Very good Morga,” another man with a grey uniform appeared beside the monster. “They will provide a sizable amount of energy for our queen.”

Mamoru flicked his wrist releasing the red living darts with impossible accuracy, tearing through the unnatural restraints holding the senshi captive. But the girls, instead of getting up to fight, collapsed to the ground.

He sent four more flying at the youmas attacking the other two girls as he leapt forward to attack the blond blue-eyed henchmen that has just appeared. The man vanished a split second before he was about to make contact, only to reappear ten meters to the right.

Two of the roses found their targets, turning the youmas to dust leaving the girls only a single monster to annihilate.

“Morga, kill him. I will take the Sailor Senshi,” he said viciously, beginning a charge toward the standing.

“Yes, Jadeite-sama,” Morga said as she struck down hard with a broad mace.

“Jadeite?” Mamoru repeated, in shock. He could clearly see a blonde boy with a mischievous grin in his mind’s eye even as he countered the youma’s forceful strikes with his cane.

The mental image of the blond boy didn’t match the man who attacked in a bloodthirsty rage, blasting energy pulse after pulse at the blue Sailor Senshi.

The youma broke his guard and he staggered back, the wind evacuating from his lungs as he took the blow.

“I won’t forgive you!” Jadeite screamed at his petite adversary. “Not for Nephrite.”

Tuxedo Kamen feinted left as the beast tried to break past the youma’s guard. The masked man came up under the youma’s blade and extended the cane into the monster’s throat.

“Sailor Mercury!” Sailor Mars screamed in warning even as she pushed her friend aside from a deadly blast.

The youma fell backwards, reeling. Tuxedo Kamen released another rose into his opponent’s skull and the creature crumbled away to nothing.

The blond man turned in rage toward the red warrior, only to freeze in shock. He stared at the dark haired beauty, his eyes wide.

Mars didn’t hesitate. She loosed a swirling fiery blast and within moments Jadeite had also burned to ashes.

The battle over, the masked vigilante kneeled beside the fallen senshi, Mercury and Mars at his heels. On instinct, he placed a finger on one forehead and then the other. Glowing golden light emanated from his hands and both girls sat up gasping.

That was new.

“Tuxedo Kamen,” Sailor Moon greeted with a smile. She glanced around, “Where’s the youmas?”

“Gone,” he reassured, helping her to her feet.

“And Jadeite?” she questioned.

“Mars took care of him,” Mercury explained. 

“Nice work Sailor Mars!” Moon exclaimed.

“That was a close one!” Sailor Mars countered turning eyes in his direction. Her pride would not allow her to thank him.

“Thank you for saving us,” Jupiter squealed with no such restraint, tackling him in a bear hug. He grunted as the air in his lungs once again abandoned him.

“Jupiter!” Sailor Moon squealed in objection. “Get off of him!”

She was quick to comply.

“Nice to meet you too,” he said with a wink. Sailor Jupiter blushed.

“Tuxedo Kamen?” Sailor Moon called. He turned his attention toward her. “How do you always know when we’re in trouble?”

“I don’t know… I just feel it and I can never ignore it.”

“You say that like you wish you could,” Mars said scathingly.

“Sailor Mars!” Mercury admonished, still maintaining her own dignity as always.

“Well, thank you,” Sailor Moon said sincerely with a small smile. “It doesn’t seem like enough to just say.”

His chest warmed as he met her crystal clear eyes. It was more than enough.

“It’s my pleasure and honor,” he said simply and saluted her before he launched himself away.

He didn’t go far – just to the top of nearby building. He waited until the Sailor Senshi had departed before returning to the pile of ashes. At the center of the soot Mamoru found a smooth blue green river stone, just as he knew he would. It shone in the moonlight.

The rock filled him with both warmth and regret just as the piece of nephrite had. He had no real reason to mourn the loss of those that had betrayed him. He kept the stone anyway.

…

Mamoru was on his third cup of coffee after sleeping in until eleven and he still didn’t feel even slightly alert. It being Saturday, Motoki wasn’t working this morning so he didn’t even have the pleasure of his friend’s verbal banter to give him some mental exercise.

That was when Usagi arrived. Mamoru watched her darkly out of the corner of his eyes as she slumped into a seat next to her three friends.

He rose from his stool and approached without thinking, still angry with the young girl for interrupting his dream meeting with the princess.

Usagi bolted upright in her seat turning to face him as if she had sensed his presence.

Only then did it occur to him that he couldn’t actually chastise her for invading his dreams. It wasn’t _really_ her. And it certainly wasn’t actually her fault. Not to mention, saying something about her being in his dreams could be taken very much the wrong way.

“Oh no! I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now,” she waved a hand in his face as if trying to banish him. He suppressed the sudden hurt at her dismissal. But her evident exhaustion softened him.

“Come now Odango Atama… you _always_ have energy to spare!” he said brightly.

“Not today,” she insisted seriously.

“You don’t expect me to believe you actually stayed up last night studying for once?” he mocked. He was shocked when she didn’t bother to quip back or start wailing about how mean he was. All four of the girls had dark circles under their eyes. They looked as terrible as he felt.

“Odango Atama,” her dark longhaired friend repeated with a sadistic grin. “That does suit you rather well.”

“Don’t you start as well Rei-chan,” Usagi whined.

“You _are_ tired,” he commented. She glared up at him. “Perhaps this will cheer you up,” and he summoned a small pink rosebud from the ethos under the cover of his jacket and dropped it onto the table in front of the girl. Her face lit up.

“It’s so _pretty!_ It looks like it came right out of your picture,” she squealed in delight. Her words brought him up short. His picture? That little scribble on a napkin? She still remembered that? It had been months ago.

He jumped when he realized the other three were staring at him suspiciously.

“What?” he asked, astonished.

“Where did you get it?” the girl called Rei asked him sharply, pointing to the delicate pink rosebud.

He immediately gestured to the small vases filled with similar rosebuds that occupied every single table. Roses that he himself had supplied. But the girls couldn’t know that.

All three of them loosened in relief. Had he just stumbled onto something important? How would they know of the significance of the rose? Unless…

There _are_ three of them, his mind noted. He shook his head. He was tired and reading too much into things.

Usagi was oblivious to the exchange, her cheek caressing the fragrant flower.

…

Mamoru stared absently out the window. Small houses and green shrubs and trees blurred past as the bus rumbled forward on its journey. Mamoru didn’t really see any of it, thinking instead of his bike in regret. The vehicle was in the shop due to a misbehaving transmission. So he was stuck with the bus. He hated the bus. As if the crowds weren’t bad enough, the colossal moving vehicle always took the most indirect routes to hit most locations. 

The bus came rolling to a stop as if to punctuate this point. He felt the added presence, as a new arrival took the seat next to him. He turned and as life or luck would have it, none other than Usagi occupied the seat next to him, her cat on her shoulder. He was certain that she hadn’t seen him. She would have chosen to sit somewhere else entirely had she known of his presence.

“Good morning,” he greeted.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said dismissively, turning away.

“Odango, how do you get it to do that?” he asked, pointing to the black cat perched on her shoulder.

“Luna’s a she!” she corrected harshly.

“Hello Luna,” he said as he stroked the feline. It did not purr or acknowledge the caress or even hiss at him as most cats would. She just seemed to stare at him with red eyes.

“She’s quite the strange little thing,” he remarked meeting the feline’s gaze. He felt like he was being measured, weighed, and found wanting.

“Why are you here?” she asked darkly.

“I had to get to class somehow,” he answered condescendingly, returning his attention to her.

“Class?” she repeated confused.

“Yes, Odango. Class…” he said mockingly slow. “It’s where students go to learn things? Or have you never been to one?”

She glared. “I know what class is!” she growled. “I was just surprised! You’re just a regular student? Like me?”

“I don’t know if you could call me a ‘regular’ student,” he replied. 

“What do you mean?”

“I happen to do fairly well, Odango,” he explained smugly.

She eyed him for a moment, clearly not impressed.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you that it’s rude to call people _names_?” she finally snapped. The comment stung… far more than it should have.

“Maybe,” he said softly. “I don’t know. I can’t remember her.”

“What do you mean you can’t remember her?” her tone had softened.

“I was in a car accident when I was seven and she didn’t make it.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said sympathetically. “What about your father?”

“Him too.”

“That’s awful… But… why don’t you remember her?”

“I suffered some kind of head trauma in the accident and woke up with no memories.”

Her eyes widened. “So what happened to you? Who took care of you?” she asked with quiet urgency.

“I sorta bounced around,” he explained indifferently. He had never found a placement that really worked and had always ended up back at the orphanage.

“Are you crying?” he asked her, startled to see a single tear spill down her face.

“It’s so sad!” she insisted. “That you would grow up not knowing a family or who you are. That sounds so lonely.”

He shrugged. “At times. But I don’t think I’ve ever been completely alone.”

“No?”

“I had these dreams all of my life,” he confided with a slight smile. “There was this girl. She helped me realize who I was. Not bring back any memories, but just who I was as a person and what I had to do. I know that she’s out there somewhere... in real life. I just have to find her.”

“That’s so beautiful…”

“Really?” he asked with a small laugh. “Most people I tell think I’m crazy. I’m not even sure why I told you.”

“I’m glad that you did,” she said sincerely. The bus rolled to a stop. “Oh! I’m sorry. This is my stop! I have to go!”

She bounced to her feet and moved away, but then she whirled around.

“I know you’ll find her Mamoru-kun!” she called back with a smile. “Don’t give up!”

He beamed at her use of the personal honorific.

“Thank you Usagi-chan!” he called back.

He watched her leave with genuine affection. Maybe she didn’t despise him completely. Maybe she actually liked him. The thought erased the smile off his face. What was he _thinking_? He was in love with the princess. Why did he keep letting this small little waif of a girl intrude upon what he knew was his true love?

He wanted to laugh. He was obsessing over a dream and a girl that may or may not exist.

But how could he doubt, another part of him wondered. The youmas were real. He had learned to transform and fight. It still seemed as if he was being trained. And then there was the whole being able to summon roses out of nothing thing. All of it came from the dreams. The princess _had_ to be real too.

He leapt to his feet while the bus was still in motion, adrenaline suddenly surging through his veins without warning. Sailor Moon was in danger. He charged out of the vehicle the second it rolled to a stop.

The feeling of urgency intensified. He transformed and ran east, following the pull of the invisible cord. He couldn’t help but notice that he was heading back the way the bus had come, that he was following Usagi’s steps. Could she be the current victim? His pace quickened.

When he arrived, it was indeed Usagi that was pinned to a tree, a youma on either side. But what he hadn’t expected was that the feeling of urgent danger centered on _her_. His heart stopped as he stared at her in disbelief.

“You’ll pay for what you’ve done!” the screeching tenor tore Mamoru’s attention away from his revelation. The man stood tall and elegant with long blond flowing hair. He felt somehow familiar just as Nephrite and Jadeite had. Which meant he was just as dangerous.

Mamoru brushed the conflicting feelings aside. The new adversary could wait. He wasn’t going anywhere, surrounded as he was on either side by Sailor Mars and Jupiter.

He threw the rose to break Usagi free. She glanced at him uncertainly and didn’t move. She didn’t know if she should reveal herself, he realized. Little did she know, she already had.

“Sailor Moon, your friends need your help!” he called to the immature, clumsy, and often irritating, schoolgirl.

Only then, did she act.

Even though he knew what to expect, watching her transform from the awkward girl into the graceful Sailor Moon stole his breadth away.

_“You think anyone wants to go around fighting youmas all the time? Risking themselves like that? Turning themselves into targets? There are much easier ways of becoming famous or earning recognition. By putting on the crazy costume the Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen are letting people know that they are protected. That they don’t have to be afraid! If they stayed anonymous all we’d ever get are reports of random attacks and people would be afraid all the time!”_

Her words at the arcade echoed through his head. She hadn’t been referring to his deeds at all, but rather to her own. She hated this. So many girls dreamed of being Sailor Moon, but not Usagi. She had never wanted to fight. She didn’t want the power or the recognition that came with being a hero. She did it for one reason alone. To protect others – to give them hope.

So unlike his own selfish reasons.

“Tuxedo Kamen!” Sailor Moon screeched in warning.

He managed to dodge the icy projectile the blond man had thrown his way just in time, cursing himself for his wandering focus. There was a time and place for his mental musings. This was not it!

He countered with three roses thrown in rapid succession. The blond man managed to side step the first two, but the third struck, slicing his cheek open and leaving a thin red line behind.

“After the Sailor Senshi. Don’t worry about collecting energy,” the general ordered coldly. “Just kill them.”

“Yes Zoisite-sama!” the youmas all obediently moved after the Sailor Senshi. 

Tuxedo Kamen attempted to chase after them, but Zoisite blocked his path.

“I will be your opponent,” the tenor declared tracing the jagged red line across his cheek with a delicate finger.

Zoisite threw another icy spear towards him. Mamoru struck the threat with a rose and it shattered.

Mamoru had to cover his face as the glassy shards rained down. Zoisite laughed.

His laugh cut off suddenly when Tuxedo Kamen darted forward and struck the younger man in the gut with his cane.

Zoisite moved backwards, catching his breadth. Mamoru released another four roses rapidly, not allowing his adversary his desired respite. One rose struck the general in the shoulder. He cursed and moved back. Mamoru moved forward to press his advantage, but his opponent teleported away – into a black portal.

Mamoru spared no thoughts for the villain. Sailor Moon held all of his attention. She had just taken out the last youma with her golden tiara. Looking at her now, he still had a hard time reconciling her current visage with the klutzy Usagi.

She turned wary eyes toward him. The sudden distrust in her body language hit him almost like a physical blow. How many times had they fought together back to back, fending off the unnatural creatures that seemed to plague Tokyo? How many times had she looked up at him with sparkles in her eyes and he whisked her away from certain death?

He found himself yearning to see that desire in her eyes. It was bad enough that she could barely tolerate his true identity – he didn’t think he could bear it if she turned those same angry eyes on his alter ego.

“Farewell Sailor Senshi!” he waved as if nothing had changed before launching himself backward into another tree. But he did not go far. He might be able to convince the senshi that nothing had changed, that Sailor Moon’s identity was no surprise revelation, but his own mind and heart were in a scramble.

He watched the four warriors split up and head in different directions. He followed Sailor Moon. The Sailor fuku faded away as she ran and she was simply Usagi once again. She arrived at a modest home in a suburban district. Mamoru perched on the edge of the roof.

She was barely inside when the lights blinked on.

“Daddy!” she gasped.

“You’re home late Usagi,” he commented calmly.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“That’s what you said two nights ago,” he said in tightly.

“Daddy, I…” she trailed off into silence.

“Usagi, would you just please tell us what’s going on?” her mother begged, her voice anguished.

Usagi remained silent.

“Go to your room. I will figure out how to deal with you tomorrow,” her father declared coldly.

Mamoru clenched his fists in frustration at the injustice of it all. Of course they could not know what had just transpired. Usagi did not even attempt to explain that she had been fighting monsters at the temple. How could she? She simply took the punishment without objection.

“I don’t know what to think. Atrocious test scores. Out at all times of night. Won’t offer any explanation. My daughter has turned into a delinquent!” Tsukino-san wailed to his wife.

Mamoru snorted. Usagi was many things. Delinquent was _not_ one of them.

She kept her strange responsibility secret even from her family. At the age of fourteen, she had decided to share this burden with no one. She risked herself regularly to protect complete strangers. She took wholly undeserved punishments to protect those she loved. And to think he had ever labeled her as unreliable or immature.

In that moment he admitted to himself that he loved her. Despite her clumsiness and her constant whining. Despite the fact that she was far too young for him. Despite that she hated having to fight, hated being a heroine.

Or maybe because of all those things, he loved her. If anyone had the right to whine on occasion it was Sailor Moon. She carried this unwanted responsibility alone, all the while adopting social misfits and encouraging casual acquaintances not to give up on their unrealistic dreams. She never seemed to ask for _anything_ in return.

In contrast, he fought only to serve himself – to find out who he was, often hoping that somehow these heroic deeds would lead him to the girl of his dreams. His motivations were entirely selfish. While _she_ took it upon herself to serve and protect the city – maybe the entire world.

He vowed to make certain that she never had to face that burden alone.

…

Mamoru had trouble falling asleep that night, his inner voice running in circles, refusing to be silent. He wondered how Usagi had discovered she was a Sailor Senshi. Had she been having dreams as well? Was the princess training her as she was him? 

_When sleep finally came, he found himself face to face with his princess immediately. He found this to be especially convenient. He had so many questions he wanted to ask her._

_“So I guess this is good-bye,” she began without preamble, her eyes threatening tears. He froze at the pronouncement, his questions forgotten._

_“Good-bye?” he echoed confused._

_“You don’t need me here anymore,” she said gently._

_“But…” He moved forwards to comfort her, to reassure himself, but she held him back with a shake of her head._

_“Perhaps, we’ll meet again… In another life…”_

Mamoru woke up feeling numb. Had his dream girl just broken up with him? Could she sense his conflicted and confused heart?

And then the tears came. Slow at first and then in torrents, his body trembling. His gut twisted like it wanted to tear itself apart. Who was he without the girl in his dreams? What would he do without her? She visited him every night! For over nine years. He didn’t know who he was without her. He didn’t know what his purpose in life was. Did he even have one?


	4. Connection

**Chapter 4 – Connection**

Mamoru moved through the two weeks on auto-pilot, barely aware of events transpiring around him. He felt oddly numb. Upon the discovery of his heroic identity, he had felt for the first time in his life that every day had a purpose. Now, once again he was just going through the motions with one crucial difference. 

The dreams had stopped.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Huh?” Mamoru’s head snapped upward at the question. “Oh nothing,” he said immediately waving away his friend’s concern. “I just…”

He trailed off as Usagi walked in. He hadn’t spoken two words to the girl in the last fifteen days – not even to her Sailor Moon alter-ego, but his eyes refused to deny her his attention. The mere sight of the small slip of a girl was enough to twist his gut up into knots and his pounding heart into overdrive.

Motoki made the whole thing worse with a knowing smirk. Mamoru ignored him.

“Mamoru-kun!” she greeted with a wave. Some of the knots occupying his abdomen loosened at her bright smile. 

He responded with a carefully controlled nod. She seemed to take no offense to this though – and scurried away to join her friends. He drank in her presence, which seemed to be the only thing capable of distracting him from the monotony of living.

But he immediately reigned himself in, crushing the warm feelings. He had to save himself for the princess. He had to show her that he was loyal. Maybe then, the dreams would return.

“What was that?” Motoki asked, breaking into his thoughts.

“What was what?”

“That!” Motoki said jerking a thumb toward a certain odangoed blond head. “No insults. No screaming. No tears.” 

Mamoru shrugged. “We’re getting along?”

“Well, stop it!”

Mamoru looked at his friend in shock.

“Oh, you know what I mean! It isn’t normal for you to have normal interactions with her.”

“Unless… unless, you asked her out. You didn’t, did you?”

“No! I told you I find her to be irritating! You were right – if I wanted her to leave me alone, I had to stop constantly teasing her. Give her some space and just ignore her.”

Motoki stared at him for a long time.

“You should stop torturing us both and just ask her out already,” Motoki advised.

“No, I have to stay away from her.”

Motoki stared at him flatly. “Why?”

“She’s… too young,” Mamoru temporized.

“That’s just an excuse and we both know it.”

“It’s not like she’d say yes,” Mamoru snapped.

“Ha! So you _do_ like her!” 

Mamoru sighed. How did Motoki get him to admit to these things? He always regretted it later – one would think he would have learned by now just to stay tight-lipped. It was better for everyone.

“It doesn’t matter if I like her,” Mamoru insisted, trying to salvage the conversation. His feelings went far beyond ‘like’. “She’s young. Immature. Annoying. And she’d laugh in my face.” She wasn’t the princess. He’d only hurt her.

“So why don’t you think she’d agree?” Motoki asked after a moment of silence.

“With the way I insult and tease her constantly?” Mamoru countered quickly. “She probably hates me.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Motoki agreed without argument. Mamoru was taken aback.

“Motoki-kun, you’re doing nothing to make me feel better.”

“Who says I was trying to make you feel better?”

“Isn’t that your job?”

“For my customers sure!” Motoki conceded. “But you’re like family! Either that… or a permanent fixture.”

“What…?” Mamoru spluttered not sure he appreciated being likened to the wall decorations.

“Either way, I’m under no obligation to make you feel better.”

“But usually you do!”

“Yeah, but this time I’m on her side. And you’re a jerk.”

Mamoru sighed, rising to his feet. “Well, since I’m obviously no longer welcome or wanted, I guess I will be off.”

“Mamoru-kun,” Motoki said with a slight frown. “You’re always wanted and welcome even when you’re a jerk.”

Mamoru smiled at his friend gratefully and waved before making his exit through the automatic doors.

He barely made it a block when he felt, rather than heard, the girl scrambling behind in his wake.

“Mamoru-kun!” she called brightly. “I’ve been looking for you! I have an idea!”

His whole body tensed. He wasn’t ready to talk to her yet.

“Mamoru-kun?” she called again, this time with uncertainty.

“Odango,” he began, resolved to drive her away. Anything to make the dreams return.

Her face tightened at the use of the insulting nickname.

“An idea? I don’t have time today to entertain your flights of delusion,” he said coldly.

She burst into tears. Other pedestrians suddenly stopped and surrounded them murmuring. Mamoru could feel the accusing stares berating him on all sides.

Mamoru looked at her in embarrassment.

“Odango,” he begged, eying the crowd. “Please stop crying. You’re making a scene.”

“You’re so awful!” she cried brokenly. “I can’t believe I was actually starting to care about you! Starting to think of you as a friend! You don’t even care that you were mean or that you hurt me. You just don’t want me to embarrass you!” she accused, her blue eyes flashing in hurt and anger. “And don’t call me that! I have a name you know!”

He regretted the words even before her accusation. He knew they were completely unfair toward anyone, but especially to her. How could he forget so quickly who she was and the weight she carried on her shoulders?

“I’m sorry Usagi-chan,” he said contritely. “What was your idea?”

“I had an idea… about how to find your princess,” she said softly between sobs.

He felt she had just dumped another bucket of ice water over his head.

“Usagi…” he said softly, his eyes suddenly burning. He reached an arm out trying to convey all of his guilt and remorse in the olive branch.

“Don’t!” she yelled, flinching away. “Don’t touch me!”

He met her angry eyes for a split second before he had to look down. She swirled away and ran into the crowd. He stood staring numbly after her, now indifferent to the mumblings of the people around him.

…

Mamoru struck his forehead against the door of his apartment, not allowing himself entrance. Why did he have such a hard time being nice to the girl? The events of his dreams were not her fault. He was unhappy with himself. Not with her. Hadn’t he promised himself that he would work to ease her burden?

But the cruelty and teasing were the only tools he knew of to keep her at arms’ length. He wouldn’t be able to stay loyal to the princess if he let Usagi in. The princess that he _knew_ was soon going to reenter his life.

Suddenly he wasn’t sure that he wanted her to. He was loyal to the princess out of habit. Loving her was simply a part of his identity. He didn’t actually know her. She had just been the only consistent thing in his life for as long as he could remember.

Did he want to keep this life-crippling obsession for all of eternity? Why did the dreams feel so real to him? Why couldn’t he simply let them go?

Odango would be enough, he realized. She _did_ feel real. Perhaps even more real than the dreams, he realized in shock. He could give up the elusive dream princess if only the rabbit would look his way. The only problem was he was fairly certain the girl hated him.

He couldn’t even hold that against her. He had never been very sympathetic or kind toward her.

On the other hand, she had been willing to cry over his past, had encouraged him to not give up on his princess, and had been the only person he had ever encountered that had been willing to help him find her. The only person, beside himself, who believed she was even real.

He laughed at the irony. He was willing to give up the princess for _her_. And he had probably ruined any chance he had with her this afternoon.

“Mamoru, you’re such an idiot,” he berated himself.

…

That night, instead of visualizing the dream princess, he pictured Usagi in the rose garden. He was only slightly surprised when the transformation still worked. He supposed that it meant that the power was his own and not one granted to him by the princess. He took little solace in this fact.

He took off, scouring the city as Tuxedo Kamen. He wasn’t looking for anything. He had no purpose. He simply enjoyed the physical sensation of running, almost flying, through the cemented jungle that was the city. 

A piercing scream cut through his thoughts. He glanced downward toward the grating sound to find an old man at a youma’s mercy. 

He leapt down and attacked the beast, grateful to have something that deserved his wrath to take his anger out on. He managed to distract the monster long enough to let the victim escape, but then Zoisite and two more youmas appeared and surrounded him. He was no match for three of the bastards. He leapt backwards over their heads and retreated to the cover of trees in the park. 

He needed help. There was only one option.

He hesitated once her house was in view. What would he say?

 _Mamoru, quit stalling_ , he chastised himself. There were three youmas with malicious intentions running loose, potentially encountering new victims every moment that he hesitated. If Usagi were in his place, she wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice her own pride to save those innocents.

He stood outside her window peering at her sleeping form before tapping on the window.

She moved sleepily to the window. The glass pane swung open and he started forward.

The black cat hissed as he jumped silently from the window ledge to the floor. Mamoru ignored the baffling creature.

“Tuxedo Kamen?” Usagi asked sleepily. “Am I dreaming?”

The implication of the question sent delightful chills down his spine.

“Sailor Moon, I need your help. There are youmas…”

She needed no further convincing. She transformed immediately and nodded for him to lead the way.

She had no trouble keeping up with him. She asked no questions. As they approached the park he held his arm out to block her from running in, hoping to get a sense of the situation before they just leapt in.

The youmas had found a new victim in the form of a younger dark haired teenager dressed in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. Sailor Moon moved immediately to intervene. Zoisite was nowhere to be seen.

She came at the closest enemy with a high kick, bringing it to the ground. He released a rose stem first at the fallen youma as she threw her glowing tiara at the second one. They both immediately crumbled.

“Impressive,” a cold voice said with genuine admiration. They both whirled around. Tuxedo Kamen froze as he met the other man’s cold grey eyes. Whereas the other three generals had felt vaguely familiar, he recognized this man with long white hair instantly. A man his instincts were _still_ telling him he could trust. A man that he knew had betrayed and killed him in the dream.

“Kunzite,” he spat as if the name were a curse.

His adversary just grinned. He then struck with a glowing curved blade that had just appeared in his hands. The masked vigilante reacted too slowly.

“Tuxedo Kamen!” Sailor Moon shouted darting in front of the blade as it came down. It cut deep into her shoulder. She screamed. 

The tuxedoed man pushed her roughly behind him once again and met the other man’s blade with his cane. Sparks flew, the shock shot painfully up his arm. He held firm, but his adversary quickly pulled back to strike again and again, high and low, feint to the right, only to attack left.

Tuxedo Kamen blocked each strike with ease, each attack eerily familiar. Even the princess… no Sailor Moon, he corrected… behind him felt like it had happened before. He felt detached from himself, almost as if he were an outside observer as someone else controlled his body.

He used his foreknowledge to deflect a lethal blow and he broke Kunzite’s guard. The other man grunted as he fell backwards. The masked man moved forward to press his advantage, but Kunzite retreated backwards and vanished into a black portal.

The caped hero did not spare him a thought as he turned back urgently to Sailor Moon. She had collapsed and blood continued to flow from her shoulder. She should not have lost consciousness – not from the shoulder wound. 

He healed her, using the newly discovered ability and watched in fascination as the gaping hole knit itself back together. She now showed no evidence of ever having been struck. But she did not wake. Biting back panic, he scooped the senshi into his arms. 

He couldn’t take her to the hospital – not outfitted as Sailor Moon. And he certainly couldn’t take her home. So he took her to the only safe haven he knew of – his apartment.

He placed her gently on the bed and sat in a folding chair a good distance away. He didn’t drop his transformation. He wanted her to feel safe when she awoke. Mamoru’s presence wouldn’t reassure her. But Tuxedo Kamen’s probably would. 

He jumped up from the chair and paced back and forth berating himself for ever putting himself in a position where she had to save him. That was _his_ job. And as the time passed and she did not show any signs of waking he began to fear that something else was terribly wrong. Perhaps the blade had been poisoned.

He immediately tore through half a dozen textbooks – looking up different types of poisons and their symptoms. She displayed no signs. Welts, bluing of her lips, spidery veins – all of it was negative. He stared at her agonizingly, not certain if he should do anymore, watching ever carefully for the rise and fall of her chest.

Just before he lost it completely, she began to stir.

“Wake up Sailor Moon,” he said gently. Her eyes peeked open.

“Hmm?” she moaned. “Where am I?”

“You’re safe,” he reassured. “I thought taking you here when you were injured was a better idea than showing up at your parents’ with their daughter injured and dressed up as Sailor Moon.”

“Uh… thanks,” she said uncertainly. “Where’s here?”

“My apartment.”

“You have an apartment?”

“Did you think that I lived in the sky?” he asked sarcastically though the thought amused him. She blushed. He smiled. The color suited her.

“I guess I hadn’t actually thought about it. Who are you?”

He hesitated, but then he let the mask drop. He knew who she was – it seemed only fair.

She gasped.

“Mamoru-baka!” she exclaimed.

“Nice to see you too, Odango!” he countered icily.

She took a deep breadth and calmed herself.

“I’m sorry!” she said meekly. “What a horrible thing for me to say. You just saved me!”

“I think this time it was the other way around,” he disagreed. “Why did you jump in front of his blade like that?” he demanded.

“I… I couldn’t let him kill you!” she said vehemently.

He was taken aback by her passion and blinked at her for a moment.

“But you could let him kill you?” he asked.

“That wasn’t the plan,” she insisted.

“There was a plan?”

She blushed again. No, there had been no plan. He knew as much before he had even asked. There had been no thought behind the action – just instinct.

“You’ve saved me countless times,” she began softly. “You’ve encouraged me when I thought I was powerless and have never let me give up. I couldn’t _not_ act. Does this make any sense?”

It did. More than he was willing to admit. It was exactly how he felt when she was in danger. He never thought about it. He just acted.

He made himself nod, suddenly not trusting his voice.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “About my reaction just now… to who you are…”

“It’s alright. Neither one of us have ever been very good at being nice to one another. I am sorry too, you know. About earlier…”

She looked at him for a moment and suddenly burst out laughing. Her laughter was infectious and soon found himself joining her though he didn’t understand the joke.

“What is so funny?” he finally managed to ask.

“Nothing! Everything!”

“Which?”

“It’s just, I can’t believe it’s you! You have always teased me so relentlessly. And maybe I deserved it sometimes.”

“Probably not…” he interjected.

“And this other side of you, has always encouraged and believed in me even when I was pitiful.”

“You were never pitiful,” he disagreed.

“It’s confusing,” she finished.

“A double life does makes things rather complicated,” he agreed.

“How long have you known who I was?” she asked.

“The youma after the bus.”

“But not before?” she asked. “Not on the bus?” 

“No…”

“I used to fantasize that it was Motoki-oniisan that was coming to my rescue.”

“I’ll try not to take that personally,” he said dryly.

“Well, he’s the one that encourages me, Usagi, in her… my… whatever… normal life… And Tuxedo Kamen encouraged me in my Senshi life so… I don’t know, it just seemed to fit that they would be the same person. I really like Motoki-oniisan.”

“Yeah, he’s always been great,” Mamoru agreed reluctantly, having less than charitable thoughts toward his best friend.

“But this… Tuxedo Kamen being you… is kind of a relief actually.”

The statement, so completely unexpected, took a moment to register.

“How so?” he asked after a moment.

“I don’t know. You’ve always been able to push my buttons, make me angry like no one else. But Motoki-oniisan, and then Mako-chan, would always tell me that you were so nice, so reliable. Knowing that you’re Tuxedo Kamen shows that side that I have never gotten to see.”

She looked up with a smile and their eyes met. He lost himself in the shining sapphire pools. He suddenly threw caution to the wind and leaned forward to kiss her. She froze in shock for a moment when their lips met. But then she relaxed and responded. His heart threatened to pound right out of his chest.

“What was that?” she demanded when he pulled away.

“A kiss,” he said flippantly before adding, “Let me take you to dinner.”

“What?” she asked, incredulous.

“You heard me.”

“You’re asking me out? But you only ever insult and make fun of me. I thought you hated me.”

“I never hated you...” he insisted.

“You only like me now that you know I’m Sailor Moon.”

“No…” he disagreed with a smile. “I like you _despite_ the fact that you are Sailor Moon. I love that you have endless energy and you never let my cynicism, or anyone else’s for that matter, destroy the faith you have in people. That you care so much for people you’ve only just met. That you shoulder the burden of saving this cold city alone.”

“I don’t do it alone,” she insisted. “I have Mak… Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter… And you, apparently Tuxedo Kamen.”

He nodded. “But you don’t tell your friends or your family. You hold this secret yourself. You don’t have to, you know. You could tell them. They would understand. It might make your life a lot easier.”

“I don’t know…” she said uncertainly. “The more people that know – the harder it is to keep the secret. And if anyone ever found out that would put all of them – my family, in danger.”

“Plus, my father would flip out and forbid me from ever going within twenty feet of a youma,” she added as an after thought. He chuckled, but didn’t argue with her. They both fell into a silence. She seemed to still be considering his words.

“I can’t do that to them!” she insisted suddenly. He wasn’t surprised. He knew why she didn’t share the secret. He didn’t tend to share his own either and he didn’t even have a family to protect.

“Well, if you ever need someone. If it ever gets to be too much, you can come here.

“And if you want, I’ll still take you to dinner,” he added.

She said nothing. He felt guilty for pushing her.

“No pressure,” he added breaking the silence.

“Why were you always so mean to me?” she asked, her voice small.

His chest shriveled at the question. 

_“Someday, your dream girl is going to waltz into your life. Only you’re not going to recognize her. And you’ll find yourself saying something awful to her. Good luck trying to win her over after that!”_

Her words haunted him. He sometimes he wondered if she was the more mature of the two of them. He remained silent for a moment searching for words. He wanted to make sure he found the right ones.

“I was trying to drive you out of my head,” he finally said. “You had taken root even before I knew you were Sailor Moon and I could not shake you. I thought you were a distraction from the one I loved.”

“From your dream princess?”

He nodded. “But I don’t dream of her anymore.” 

“You don’t?”

“No, I dream of someone else now,” he forced himself to look right into her eyes.

“Mamoru-kun,” she said gently, her blush returned ten-fold and she averted her gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he said roughly rising to his feet and stepping back. “For everything that I’ve done or said that has ever hurt you. And for laying all this on you now. This probably seems like it’s coming out of nowhere. And you’d probably rather go with Motoki.” He tried to make himself sound indifferent, but he didn’t think he pulled it off.

She studied her hands that were folded in her lap. Mamoru forced himself to stay silent. He even contemplated leaving her in privacy, but he didn’t know how to leave without being disruptive.

“I kept your picture,” she said softly into the silence.

“My what?”

“The picture that you drew on the napkin. Of the rose garden? It’s so pretty. I keep it on the mirror of my vanity so I can see it everyday. I almost feel like I know what it’s like to be there.”

He smiled, “I’m glad.”

“It always puzzled me. I figured that anyone who could draw something so beautiful on something as crude as a napkin…”

“There’s something about it,” she interrupted herself. “Almost as if I have been there before.”

And he could see it as he had earlier in the evening. Her standing in front of the roses, in the flowing white dress that sparkled in the moonlight, her hair done up in odangos adorned with pink rosebuds. Shining sapphire eyes.

The transformation had still worked… 

_“It all started because I was having the most wonderful dream. There was a garden filled with roses. It was just so pretty and… I don’t know… peaceful…”_

Those had been her words to Motoki. On the day they had crashed into one another for the very first time. He stood up suddenly. “Wait here,” he directed.

He came back and handed her his full eleven by fourteen version of the garden, completely colored and shaded. He had drawn it exactly as he remembered it during the first dream. When he had walked into the garden to see his princess with her back to him. He had just picked it up from the art shop that morning, the custom-framing job finished. He hadn’t had time to hang it up yet.

She gasped as she took in the picture. Her eyes seemed to glaze over and suddenly she was very far away.

“Usagi-chan?”

She shook herself and came out of the trance.

“It’s gorgeous Mamoru-kun. And she’s beautiful,” Usagi commented, tracing the lines of the princess’ gown with a finger. “How can you give up on her?”

“I suddenly don’t think I have,” he said softly, taking a seat next to her on the bed.

“What?”

“I think she’s you… Usako.”

She blushed at the pet name even as she shook her head.

“I’m not the princess,” she insisted. “We’re trying to find her. Luna says that it’s our job to protect her.”

“Luna?”

“You know… my… umm… cat.”

“You take direction from your cat?”

“She’s not really a cat okay?” she said defensively. 

“I would hope not.”

“She doesn’t approve of you, you know.”

His eye twitched at this news.

“Why not?”

“She says that we can’t be sure of your motives so we can’t trust you.”

“She’s wrong,” he growled. “You can trust that I am only trying to protect you and this world. _And_ I think you _are_ the princess.”

“How can you be certain?” she asked. “If there was ever anyone completely unsuitable to being a princess, it’s me!”

She was wrong. He had seen her grace in rare moments when she wasn’t feeling self-conscious. She saw the best in people and always overflowed with compassion. But he knew she wouldn’t believe him.

“Well, I don’t know if you’re _the_ princess Usako, but my heart tells me that you are definitely _my_ princess,” he said seriously. “You look like her too,” he commented gesturing to the picture.

She turned back to the drawing, her nose crinkled as she squinted at the elegant figure.

“I don’t know…” she said, handing it back to him. “I think you need to get your eyes checked.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my eyes.”

“This is all so sudden,” she mumbled. “One moment, you think a guy can barely stand your presence and the next he’s professing his undying love!”

He stood immediately and leaned against the opposite wall to give her space once again.

“What about you? Do you approve of me?” He asked after a moment.

“I’m… not sure…” she said pensively. “I have always wanted to like you. I have always felt drawn to you, but well… our encounters never seemed to go…. 

“…Amicably?” he filled in with a grin.

She shrugged. “And I think you could definitely be a tad nicer… especially to young girls,” she finished with a playful grin.

He mock groaned. “Usako! You are going to ruin my reputation!”

“Well, that’s my price!” she said brightly, coming to her feet.

“Your price for what?” he asked.

“If you want me to go to dinner.”

“Well, let’s go then,” he said offering his hand.

“Now?”

“Why not? It’s a beautiful night. The moon is full.”

“It’s like two am,” she objected.

“I know the perfect place.”

“Umm… I have nothing to wear,” she said glancing down at the sailor fuku.

“You look great!” he insisted even as he pressed his mask back to the bridge of his nose and offered her a white gloved hand.

“My parents are going to kill me,” she mumbled as she finally took his offered hand.

…

He held the young heroine in his arms as they soared through the city’s skyline. For once, they were not running from youmas bent on their destruction – he did not have to worry about strategic positioning or lining up a shot. If his heart wanted to leap out of his chest altogether, it was not because he feared for the life of an amazing blond heroine.

He took delight in this rare occasion. He was able to enjoy the sensation of the night air blowing though his hair even as he was buffeted on all sides by her long golden tresses. The warm body pressed against his chest protecting him from the chill of air resistance.

He brought her back to her feet on the top of a spire-like tower in the center of Tokyo. While he himself sat down allowing his legs to dangle over the edge of the dark glassy skyscraper. Lights of moving cars and distant street lamps twinkled below them even as the stars shone above them.

The masked hero pulled out a small package from his jacket and gestured for her to sit next to him. She complied without a word. He opened the package revealing a pair of chopsticks that accompanied a small bento box filled with edamame, snap peas, dumplings, and rice.

“Looks delicious,” she cried. “Did you make it?”

He nodded. He had made it for his lunch tomorrow – but somehow it was better to be sharing the food with her. He offered a dumpling on the end of the single pair of chopsticks for her consumption, watching in abject fascination as she took the proffered odango into her mouth.

“So where are we?” she asked.

“Top of Starlight Tower.”

“You bring all your first dates up here?” she asked playfully, turning her attention to the sights below and above them.

“Every single one so far,” he admitted.

She froze.

“Usako,” he reassured. “This is the only first date I’ve ever had.”

“You’ve _never_ had a girlfriend?” she demanded. 

“Not unless you count my dreams.”

“But I always thought…”

“Yeah, I know,” he interrupted. “I let a lot of people think a lot of things about me that are not true.”

“Why?”

He took a mouthful of rice at that moment to give him a moment to think about her question.

“It’s easier than the truth,” he finally whispered.

“What you said about me – driving me away. I’m not the only one you do that to am I?”

“No,” he admitted turning his attention to the stars above them.

She leaned into him shyly.

“You cold?” he asked, wrapping his cape around her shoulders.

“No,” she blushed self-consciously.

He smiled at the admission. Being there with her was better than anything he had experienced in nine years of romantic dreams. Every smile, the slight pressure of her pressed up against his side, just the simple fact that she had trusted him to take her here, knowing exactly who he was, delighted him. He knew that the date was real. She wasn’t imagined or dreamed. It was actually happening here and now – not some half remembered phantom memory of a life that was not his own.

He rested his cheek on top of her head. He loved her. He already knew that he did. It was far too soon to tell her. But he could admit it to himself. And be grateful for this moment – this one moment shared with her.

Her breathing slowed and he looked down to realize she had fallen asleep. He smiled indulgently at her slight form. He eventually forced himself to move, reluctant as he was to disturb her. She deserved to get at least some sleep in her own bed.

She quickly stirred awake. “Did I fall asleep?” she asked groggily, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“It’s fine Usako,” he reassured kissing her forehead before helping her back to her feet. “Let’s get you home.”

They arrived back at the Tsukino household long before dawn when her parents would finally be aware that she was missing, determined to not get her in any further trouble. With the precious burden held in his arms he leapt up to her window. He pushed open the windowpane and deposited her softly on the floor, right where he had pleaded for her help just hours earlier. It felt like eons ago.

He reluctantly let her go.

“Good night Usako,” he said and turned to leave.

“Wait, Mamo-chan,” she said softly. He turned in time to see her cheeks redden in the moonlight at the use of her new pet name.

She came forward into his arms once again. She tilted her head up and he answered the unasked question without hesitation, thrilled that she had been the one to initiate the kiss.

He wished that the moment would never end.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usagi is a noun that literally means little rabbit or bunny in Japanese. Usako is the possessive form of this noun – meaning my little rabbit.


	5. Doubt

**Chapter 5: Doubt**

“Good morning Motoki-kun! Long time no see! Beautiful day isn’t it?”

Motoki looked up at the bright, uncensored grin that uncharacteristically lit up his best friend’s face. It wasn’t that Mamoru never smiled – he had an easy sense of humor, if a bit dry and sarcastic at times. It’s just the expression never reached his eyes – there was always a touch of superior amusement or sadness to it. Like he always held something back.

“You’re in a good mood,” Motoki commented with an equally delighted smile.

“Is that not allowed?”

“Just uncharacteristic,” he said filling up the coffee cup. “You must have had a good dream last night.”

“The very best,” Mamoru agreed.

“Glad to hear it. In fact, you seem more well-rested than I’ve seen you in months.”

“Hasn’t been a youma attack in over a week,” Mamoru said brightly. 

Motoki looked at his long time friend oddly, “What does that have to do with anything?”

Did Motoki imagine it or did Mamoru actually tense at that question?

“It makes it easier to sleep at night is all,” he friend said with an easy smile.

“It’s probably thanks to those vigilantes,” Motoki chided.

Mamoru rolled his eyes.

Motoki shook his head at his friend’s continued stubbornness. One would _think_ he would have developed some appreciation for the elusive vigilantes after being rescued by the Sailor Senshi, but Mamoru could be more than a little dense about some things.

“So where have you been?” Mamoru demanded. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I have even been attending all my classes in hopes of running into you.”

“Good to know some benefit came of my absence,” he commented. “It was a funeral actually. My great aunt.”

“My condolences,” Mamoru said sincerely.

Motoki shrugged. “It may seem callous to say so, but I’m not too broken up about it. I went more to support my mother. I didn’t know my aunt that well. I’m just glad to be back.”

“Do you want to get together sometime this week?” Mamoru suggested.

“For studying?” Motoki asked.

“No, let’s do something fun. How about Wednesday after lab?”

Motoki raised his eyebrows at the suggestion. Mamoru was usually all work and no play. Motoki was always the one to drag him out. And lately, his friend had needed even more convincing than normal.

“I’m sorry, I can’t on Wednesday,” he said with genuine regret. “Reika-chan and I are taking dance lessons in the evenings.”

“Oh right! I had forgotten. What about Thursday?” his friend asked, losing none of his enthusiasm.

“Mamoru-kun! What is going on?” Motoki demanded with a laugh.

Right then, Usagi darted up to Mamoru and threw her arms around his midriff.

“Mamo-chan!”

Motoki’s eyes widened.

‘Mamo-chan?’ Motoki mouthed over the back of the girl’s head.

Mamoru’s glaring eyes said, ‘shut up’ quite clearly and Motoki grinned. He struggled not to laugh, but he wasn’t willing to embarrass Usagi like that. So he distracted himself by tackling some imaginary stain on the counter before turning to another customer. He supposed that this explained Mamoru’s good mood.

Eventually, Usagi disengaged from his best friend to occupy the seat next to him and Motoki turned his attention back to the pair.

“Good morning Motoki-oniisan!”

“Usagi-chan!” he greeted brightly as if he had only just seen her. “You’re up so early!” 

“Mamo-chan is forcing me to get up early enough to have a more ‘leisurely morning’. He says it will help my grades. I’m not sure if it’ll work. But I like it because I get to see him.”

“He’s usually right about things to do with grades. He still helps me keep mine up.”

“Really? That’s so sweet of you Mamo-chan!”

“Usako, let’s work on that math homework,” Mamoru suggested.

Motoki fought off another bout of laughter at his friend’s disgustingly cute pet name. Who knew Mamoru could be so sentimental? 

Not to mention possessive.

Usagi obediently pulled out the workbook.

“We’re working on factoring x squared functions. The teacher has us draw this diamond chart thingies, but I don’t understand where the numbers are coming from.”

“Do you know how to foil?” he asked.

“What?” she asked blankly.

“When you have two of these bubble terms,” he said scribbling something onto the paper. “Can you multiply them together?”

“Yes! That’s easy.”

“Well, let’s do one of those. And then I will show you how factoring is the exact opposite of that. And maybe where the numbers are coming from will make more sense.”

Motoki made himself busy, but he smiled watching Usagi give the challenging math problems her all for a solid thirty minutes. Mamoru exercised such gentle patience with her. He took an entirely different tactic when tutoring Motoki – one that involved slaps upside the head when Motoki forgot to distribute a negative sign. By the end of the session, she could find the roots of a parabolic function without Mamoru interrupting her once.

“Mamo-chan! Why is it that I understand it so well when you explain it, but on the test it’s another language?”

“Just takes practice, Usako,” he said with a smile. “You should probably get going. We don’t want to break the timeliness in the first week.”

“Can I see you later?” she asked urgently as she packed up her things.

“Absolutely!”

She gave him a chaste kiss and a bright smile before she dashed off.

The second she rounded the corner Motoki exploded in laughter. 

Mamoru glared at him.

“I’m sorry,” Motoki finally managed, mostly under control. “I’ve been suppressing that outburst for almost all of the last hour. You can’t expect me to control myself when you don’t give me any warning.”

Mamoru’s eyes continued to pierce through him.

“So tell me about this _dream_ ,” Motoki directed, completely unfazed.

Mamoru’s glare softened into a small smile, and he seemed lost in thought. Motoki cleared his throat and Mamoru looked up, clearly startled. Motoki’s grin widened in amusement if that was possible as he indicated for Mamoru to answer the question verbally.

“We… uh… we ran into each other… on the bus. I told her about being an orphan. I have no idea why. But then, after that we were talking instead of…”

“Insulting one another?” Motoki filled in helpfully. Mamoru grinned and shrugged accepting the description.

“And… eventually we just figured out that we had some strange things in common.”

“Such as…?”

“We… uh…” Mamoru hesitated.

Motoki waved his hand taking back the question, trying to banish his friend’s sudden unease. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that. I suppose it was a rather personal question.”

“Why didn’t you say anything first thing this morning?” Motoki demanded.

Mamoru shrugged. “I was working my way toward the subject. I suppose I was afraid you’d disapprove.”

“ _Disapprove_? Mamoru-kun, I’ve been throwing that very girl at you for months! I knew you liked her right after you had your near fatal collision.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I did. You were ready to take my head off.”

“She’s so young,” he admitted.

“Mamoru-kun, you’re not that old. And I have never seen you this happy.”

“I’m glad you like her,” Mamoru said softly.

“I have always liked her. She’s rather endearing. So you had better be nice!” he mock lectured, waggling a finger at his friend.

…

Mamoru took in another gulp of his steaming black coffee while reading the local paper. Things were going well in Tokyo. Too well, his mind nagged him. There had been no youma attacks in what was almost a month so he was easily excelling in school once again and he still had time to spare to dote on Usagi. Instead of calming him, the lack of enemy activity made him nervous. If they weren’t attacking, what had they been doing over the last four weeks? He certainly didn’t believe they had just given up.

“Chiba-san?” a young voice called interrupting his thoughts. 

Mamoru spun around slowly in his stool toward Mizuno Ami, one of Usagi’s best friends, holding out what was clearly some kind of essay.

“What can I do for you Mizuno-san?” he said with a smile, taking the proffered paper.

“If it wouldn’t be too much of a bother,” she said with a blush “I was hoping you might give it a proofread?”

An unexpected side effect of being Usagi’s boyfriend was that her multitude of friends immediately became a huge presence in his life. At first, he had found it overwhelming. Usagi had a _lot_ of friends and, in general, he was a pretty solitary being. He thought he was finally becoming accustomed to the constant attention.

He turned his attention to the essay. The title alone caused him to lift an eyebrow. ‘The effect of increased ingestion of anthocyanins on oxygen radical absorbance capacity in humans’ it read.

Every time he thought he had Ami pegged, her passion for learning, her attention to detail, and the depth of her current understanding shocked him further. The girl was years ahead in almost all subjects and she seemed to know more biology than _he_ did. Seeing as he was a biochemistry major with future plans to attend medical school, that was saying _a lot_.

He continued to skim through the paper learning that anthocyanins were a phytonutrient and pigment in cherries responsible for their red color. Tart cherries in particular appeared to decrease inflammatory infections, while increasing DNA repair and free radical absorption, reducing the risk of cancer.

“Apparently, I need to eat more cherries,” he commented with a smile after finishing the literature review. “I don’t know what you’re worried about Mizuno-san. It’s one of the most thorough papers I’ve read.”

She blushed self-consciously. “Thank you for the compliment Chiba-san. It means a lot coming from you.”

“So where’s the rest of the posse?” he asked lightly with a smile.

“Chiba-san!” Hino Rei stormed in before Mizuno could answer. “How dare you flirt with Ami-chan!”

Mamoru didn’t even bother to deem that with a response. Rei always threw accusations of infidelity his way. He had come to tolerate this as he recognized she was rather protective of Usagi.

“Rei-chan, I asked Chiba-san to proofread my paper. Nothing untoward happened,” Ami reassured calmly as she pulled out a thick volume and promptly began reading.

“Uh-huh,” Rei said skeptically. “I saw the way you were smiling. I’m onto you Chiba.” 

Mamoru flashed her his pearly whites and winked. This threw her completely and she just stared at him, blinking in confusion.

He bit down on the sudden laughter that wanted to escape, but his attention soon turned toward Usagi as she and Makoto walked in.

“I’m sad to report that Umino-san has absconded with Naru-chan for the afternoon,” Usagi announced to the group even as she greeted Mamoru with a hug and a smile.

“Absconded?” Ami repeated poking her head from her text. “Have you been studying Usagi-chan?”

“Mamo-chan’s been tutoring me!” she said brightly.

“That’s awfully nice of you Chiba-san,” Ami said seriously. “Just make sure you don’t slack on your own studying.”

Mamoru nodded in acknowledgement, suppressing another amused grin.

“Oh come on Ami-chan!” Rei scolded. “How can you be so naïve? You think he’s actually _tutoring_ her?”

“Hey!” Usagi objected. Mamoru wisely kept his mouth shut and turned back to the red counter top.

“Rei-chan, be nice!” Makoto admonished. “He has to be tutoring her. She’s improved a lot in the last few weeks.”

Usagi stuck her tongue at her fiery tempered friend as if to say ‘told you’.

Mamoru finally managed to get Motoki’s attention and he gestured to the four girls. His friend smiled knowingly and nodded his acknowledgement before disappearing into the back.

He returned quickly with four chocolate milkshakes that he placed in front of each girl in turn. Usagi had already dived in.

“Thank you Motoki-oniisan! You’re the best!” she squealed.

“What’s this for?” Makoto asked.

“On the house,” he proclaimed enthusiastically. Makoto looked past the friendly server and straight at Mamoru. He turned away immediately, hoping she didn’t catch on.

“Thanks Mamoru-san!” Makoto called across the room before she began happily slurping the chocolate beverage. Motoki’s laughter echoed through the room as he made his way back to the bar. Mamoru just sighed.

“You think you can buy me off Chiba?” Rei asked suspiciously, pushing the drink away when she realized the source.

“I would never dream of it!” He raised his hands innocently turning back toward the booth. “I just wanted to show my appreciation of how much you take care of Usako.”

She still didn’t drink.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it off your hands!” Usagi offered. She had already finished her own shake.

Suddenly, Rei dove in.

Mamoru once again refrained from chuckling. Instead, he gestured to Usagi to come sit with him. She jumped to her feet and joined him immediately.

None of the girls objected. Not even Rei. Makoto actually winked at him. The strategy had worked amazingly well. Perhaps he would have to make a weekly tradition out of this.

“So how was your day?” he asked in genuine curiosity.

“It was fine,” she said, but then sighed. “Actually it was awful! Haruna-sensei was shocked that I had done my homework two days in a row. She was even more surprised that it was mostly right. Mamo-chan! She asked if I was paying someone to do it for me,” she explained dejectedly. “Even when I’m _doing_ my work, I _still_ am not trusted. It’s not fair.”

Mamoru chuckled.

“Hey! Why are you laughing at _me_?” she demanded.

“I’m sure it will be fine Usako. Just give Haruna-sensei some time to get used to the new trends. Eventually, she’ll be more surprised on that rare instance when you _didn’t_ do your homework.”

“It’s not fair,” she mumbled again.

“Is there anything that I can do to turn your day around?” he asked.

She smiled brightly. “You already have Mamo-chan!”

“Well, how about making it even better?”

“Could we do something fun? Go on another date? Preferably, not in the middle of the night? How about tomorrow?”

“I can’t,” he said wincing. 

Her face fell. “Why not?”

“Mamoru-kun and I are going to the concert tomorrow,” Motoki explained, popping into the conversation refilling Mamoru’s coffee mug. “Hey! You should come with us!” he suggested brightly as if he just thought of it. Mamoru suspected otherwise.

“I don’t know…” Usagi said uncertainly. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense!” Motoki reassured. “I’ll invite Reika-chan and we can make a double date of it!” 

“Is that okay with you Mamo-chan?” she asked brightly. She clearly loved the idea.

“Whatever you prefer Usako,” he said with a smile of his own.

Motoki leaned forward over the counter conspiratorially. “You’d actually be doing me a favor Usagi-chan,” he whispered loudly so Mamoru could hear him as well. “This is the only way Mamoru-kun will let me invite Reika-chan.”

“Then it’s a date!” she squealed. 

“You already bought four tickets, didn’t you?” Mamoru accused softly.

“No idea what you’re talking about Mamoru-kun.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It was Reika’s idea actually,” Motoki confessed.

“Well, that’s even better!” Usagi interjected. “Now, I know she won’t mind!” 

She rose to her feet. “I will see you in the morning Mamo-chan!” she said kissing his cheek.

“You’re leaving already?” Mamoru asked, glancing at his watch in disbelief. Sure enough an entire hour had passed.

“I have to go. The girls will leave without me,” she insisted. “But I’ll miss you too.”

“Good-bye Usako,” he called after her and watched her make her exit with the other three girls. 

“And you always said that _I_ was being way too nice to the girls,” Motoki whispered behind him the smug amusement clear in his voice as the girls filed out.

Mamoru shrugged with a sheepish grin. “I guess you’ve made a convert out of me.”

“Seems to be working for you,” Motoki commented grinning widely. “I have never in all the time I’ve know you, seen you so relaxed.”

“Glad it looks that way. I feel slightly overwhelmed myself, between her friends and her parents…”

“But those are good things to have to worry about Mamoru-kun.”

“I wouldn’t trade it away for anything,” Mamoru agreed finishing his coffee. “Now we just have to hope the city remains youma free!”

“Amen to that!” Motoki cheered.

…

“I can’t believe Mamoru-kun agreed to this,” Reika commented in disbelief as she readjusted Motoki’s green tie. He absently straightened his light grey blazer absently around her adjustments.

“I’m telling you, he’s like a _different_ person around Usagi-chan!” Motoki explained. “Just wait. You’ll see.”

He offered her a hand to escort her to the car. “You look absolutely stunning by the way,” he said grinning widely as he took in her dark hair that trailed freely over her bare shoulders. She wore a sleeveless pale lavender dress that flared out just below her hips. Perfect for dancing. She ushered him out of his apartment down to the car.

The drive to the restaurant did not take long. Motoki was soon checking in with the hostess. Reika tapped his shoulder, as he spoke to the woman.

“Motoki, is that her?” Reika asked, pointing to his right.

Motoki’s eyes widened as he took in the blond girl. Usagi all dressed up was almost unrecognizable. She wore a flowing pink gown that fluttered in her wake. But it wasn’t really her clothing - she _carried_ herself differently – all evidence of her inherent clumsiness was gone. She walked like she was floating across a cloud.

“Usagi-chan!” he called, “Thanks for coming early! I thought we could get dinner before the concert.” Motoki greeted. “This is my girlfriend Nishimura Reika,” he introduced her to the auburn haired beauty on his arm.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Tsukino-san. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said offering a hand.

“Please, call me Usagi,” she said as she shook the other woman’s hand. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Oh of course Usagi-san! How else are we supposed to get Mamoru-kun to come out with us?” Reika said with a smile.

Usagi blushed.

“Mamoru-kun! You finally made it!” Motoki greeted as his best friend, dressed elegantly in a charcoal suit, approached.

Usagi whirled around immediately.

“Mamo-chan!” she said delightfully, taking possession of one of his arms. He leaned and whispered something in her ear that caused her blush to deepen.

“She’s absolutely adorable,” Reika whispered approvingly into his ear.

Motoki grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

Only then, did Mamoru finally acknowledge their presence, with a friendly wave from his free hand.

“Furuhata, part of four!” the hostess called.

They followed the hostess to a round table. Usagi’s eyes darted everywhere taking in the couples in elegant attire moving across carpeted floors underneath crystal chandeliers that lit their path with shimmering light.

“This place is gorgeous,” she exclaimed.

“I’ll be sure to let my father know,” Motoki commented with a grin. 

“Your father?” she repeated.

“His father owns this place and half a dozen other restaurants in Tokyo,” Mamoru explained.

“He does?” her eyes became even wider if that was possible. And then she smiled brightly. “When can we visit all the others?”

“Already bored with this one Usagi-chan?” Motoki teased.

“No!” she blurted turning red again. “I just… oh, never mind,” and she dove into her menu.

“I recommend the fish,” Reika advised. “They get the absolute freshest supply.” 

Usagi nodded. “Yeah that sounds…”

She cut off as her purse started beeping. She dove for it immediately.

“You have a beeper Usagi-chan?” Motoki asked.

She laughed. “It’s just an alarm reminding me that I need to… uh… take my medication. Excuse me!”

And she dashed away.

“What?” Reika asked with a chuckle. “Did we frighten her away?”

“No, I’m sure she just…” Mamoru began, but he cut himself off suddenly as if something had just occurred to him.

“No, she would have told me…” he whispered to himself and he turned back to the menu more at ease.

“I’m sure she’ll be back in a minute,” he reassured. “So how’s the research coming Reika-chan?”

“Fantastic! There was a great find in Egypt last week!” she exclaimed. “The team uncovered an undisturbed sarcophagus.”

“So of course they went and disturbed it,” Motoki teased.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Reika continued with a scowl for her boyfriend, “it’ll probably take me longer to finish my thesis now since I have to document all this new information, but I think it’s all for the best!”

“That’s great Reika-chan!” Mamoru exclaimed.

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he doubled over, clutching an arm over his midriff as if he was in pain.

“Mamoru-kun?”

“Excuse me, Motoki-kun. I suddenly don’t feel well,” and he dashed away leaving his two friends alone at the table.

Motoki shared a look with Reika. She was just as puzzled as he was.

“Wonder what that was all about,” she commented.

Motoki shrugged, “Well, at least they’re suited to one another.”

She laughed. “I would say so. He positively lights up in her presence. I’ve never seen him like that.”

…

Mamoru ran out of the restaurant into the street. There were two different _teams_ of youmas within sight a few hundred of meters down the street in _both_ directions harassing citizens. The invisible cord that led him to Sailor Moon pointed in a different direction entirely. This was an all out coordinated attack.

He ground his teeth, wondering why Usagi hadn’t somehow communicated why she was _actually_ leaving. He ducked into an alleyway to transform.

He charged back into the street firing off half a dozen roses. He knew the projectiles were not nearly accurate enough at this range to defeat the youmas permanently, but hopefully enough to stun them long enough for their victims to escape. He did not wait to confirm. Sailor Moon needed him.

He ran southeast, where his instincts and senses led him. He pushed himself faster as the sensation intensified. 

“Hold on, Usako.”

…

Kunzite floated above the center of the city, glassy steel grey skyscrapers rose from the ground filling his vision. Perfect rows of tiny rectangles covered the sides of the buildings as even smaller boxes on wheels moved across the streets below. He ignored the view, his attention focused solely on the progress of his twenty-four, five-man teams.

“I want you to focus on these areas here and here – that’s where the population is densest,” he informed the agent before him pointing to the appropriate sites on the underling’s map. Zoisite’s model had been pretty close to predicting traffic patterns, but not precise enough for his liking. Still, things were going well. He’d be able to justify this huge investment in resources and delayed energy gathering with results like these.

It had taken weeks to convince the Queen that simultaneous attacks were the best way to both collect energy and to allude or take out the Sailor Senshi. The city’s protectors simply could not be everywhere at once and eventually they’d be worn down.

“Kunzite-sama!” another agent arrived. “The Sailor Senshi have arrived.”

“Where?” he demanded. She gave him the coordinates.

“I want four teams at that location ten minutes ago. And another two teams on stand-bye to ambush Tuxedo Kamen when he shows up a few minutes later. The goal is to capture – not kill.”

“Sir?”

“There isn’t time to explain!” Kunzite roared. “Just see to it!”

“Yes, sir!”

Kunzite felt the order was a foolish one, but Queen Beryl had insisted. Apparently the Sailor Senshi held exponentially larger amounts of energy as compared to an ordinary civilian. These resources would accelerate The Awakening. Personally, he felt it was unwise to leave the threat alive. Beryl was being impatient. He also did not understand why she limited their attacks to this one country when there was an entire planet ripe with growing populations with far less protection. He had always felt like she was looking for someone.

The general waited until all the teams had checked in once and he had informed them of their new reporting coordinates before he teleported himself to the Sailor Senshi’s coordinates.

When he arrived, he was almost disappointed to see all four girls already immobilized. He had expected more of a fight.

“You think you can hold us?” Sailor Mars demanded angrily. Fire burst forth from her hands only to be absorbed by the energy draining nets that ensorcelled all four girls. She screamed as she collapsed to her knees.

Kunzite approached and leaned down. “It would appear so,” he whispered into her ears mockingly. 

She struggled and attempted to come to her feet, which only increased the energy drain. She screamed again.

Kunzite laughed. 

He looked up just in time to see the red projectile headed his way. He deflected the rose with ease. Tuxedo Kamen dived from above and struck down as he landed. Kunzite brought up his energy blade to counter the blow, trying to keep the masked vigilante’s attention on him.

Instantly four agents surrounded the masked man with energy nets, pinning him down to the ground. Kunzite stepped back from his now fallen adversary.

“Begin the energy collection and transfer,” he ordered. “Drain all five of them dry.”

He then walked back to the nearest team leader, the piercing screams of pain echoing in his wake.

“Report,” he said to the underling ignoring the grating sound.

“Twelve teams have successfully met their quotas and are still active in the field. Another six are fast approaching our goals.”

“Excellent! Queen Beryl will be most pleased with the progress you’ve made. Please make sure these resources are sent on straight away.”

Tuxedo Kamen broke through the restraints in a rage. Kunzite barely managed to duck under his blow before he conjured another energy blade to deflect the other man’s cane.

“How could you betray _everything_ you loved for that _witch_?” the other man spat even as he struck again.

Kunzite stumbled backward, as if the verbal accusation were a physical blow. A familiar smiling face with dark hair and eyes the color of the ocean flashed through his head.

_Prince Endymion?_ The thought flitted unbidden across his mind, but it made no sense to him. Endymion was a foe he had faced only across a battlefield more than a millennia ago.

Teams of youmas forced the masked hero back to his knees. Kunzite moved forward and removed the mask. Searing deep blue eyes met his own defiantly.

Kunzite froze, emotions that he didn’t understand threatened to consume him: pride in the man that stood before him, fear _for_ him – not _of_ him, and guilt. So much guilt his knees threatened to buckle.

Golden beams of light seared through all five sets of shackles. All five of his former prisoners wasted not a second, as they leapt forward with their elemental attacks. It was five of them versus twenty of his men. His eyes caught an extra Sailor warrior, dressed in a golden sailor fuku. Well, six versus twenty, he mentally corrected, hardly thinking it was much of a difference.

His tuxedoed adversary leapt forward again.

Kunzite stood completely unprepared. He was shoved aside at the last minute. He fell to the ground hard and looked up to see Zoisite holding the vigilante back.

“Fall back,” Kunzite barked the order. The same underling from before eyed him questioningly, but bowed her head in obedience.

Kunzite gritted his teeth as he pulled Zoisite through the portal. That underling had questioned him for the last time. Kunzite was confident that Beryl would want to change tactics completely in light of this new information. 

Prince Endymion was alive.

…

Tuxedo Kamen stared at the night sky where a hole in space had existed moments previously. He turned toward the now five Sailor Senshi. They faced one another in a circle.

“That was close!” Sailor Moon exclaimed moving forward greeting the new warrior in their midst.

“Thank you Sailor…?” Mercury trailed off, uncertain which planet to add to the title.

“Venus,” the new girl in the golden fuku with equally golden hair supplied.

“Thank you Sailor Venus! You saved us!” that was Mars.

“Are you really Sailor V?” Sailor Moon asked excitedly.

Sailor Venus laughed. “I’m no more special than you Sailor Moon. Just been at this a tad bit longer.”

“Does the V also stand for victory? We certainly would have been defeated without you today. I’m glad you’re here,” Jupiter said.

Tuxedo Kamen shook his head. It didn’t feel like a victory. Not even close. Kunzite had _chosen_ to retreat. And it was not because of the arrival of a fifth Sailor Senshi. The minions of the Dark Kingdom still had had the advantage. So why did he choose to fall back?

It had been when the general had torn off his mask. Kunzite had recognized him.

“We could almost be twins!” Usagi’s excited voice cut through his thoughts. He turned a small smile toward her. He felt tempted to linger, still irritated that she had left dinner on senshi business without telling him. But he couldn’t say anything without giving his identity away to the other senshi. Plus, he knew she would love the time to get acquainted with what was sure to be a very close ally.

“Sailor Senshi, it’s always a pleasure. Sailor Venus, thank you!” and he left with his traditional salute.

Internally he felt troubled at the new tactics being employed by the Dark Kingdom. They all together would need to come up with a new strategy to counter the threat. And he wasn’t sure that any creative thinking on their part could truly address the potential danger.

…

Kunzite marched forward into the receiving hall. From his confident stride, no one would ever be able to tell how shaken he truly felt. Piercing azure eyes haunted his inner vision. Simply thinking the name Endymion was enough to send his head into a tailspin of nonsensical dreams and emotions.

“Why did you call off the attack Kunzite?” the queen demanded as he kneeled before her. “They youmas were bringing in vast amounts of energy.”

“I have found Prince Endymion.”

_The young black haired boy ran up to him, panting his cheeks red from the chill of the morning air. Kunzite ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately._

_“Kunzite! Stop that,” the boy complained indignantly. He took his mentor’s hand and dragged him insistently back the way he had come. “Come here! There’s something that I must show you!”_

_Kunzite laughed as he obediently followed the young prince._

Her mouth was open about to object automatically. She had assumed that what he had to say was irrelevant. Instead she froze.

“Are you certain?”

“I am,” Kunzite said softly rising to his feet again. He hated bowing before this woman, he realized. Had he always felt that way? 

“Finally! Where has he been hiding all this time?”

“He has been masquerading as Tuxedo Kamen,”

_Kunzite reached forward straightening the young man’s pristine white bow tie._

_“You have to keep the mask on,” Kunzite warned. “The Lunarians cannot be allowed to recognize the Terran Prince among them.”_

_“Of course Kunzite. Thank you!”_

Kunzite shook off the bizarre flash. What was happening to him?

“I should have known!” Beryl exclaimed. “This changes everything. He could give us access to Elysian, and the life energy of this entire planet. Your new task is to capture the Terran Prince.”

_The white haired general glared defiantly at the impossibly beautiful woman before him. She leaned forward and he tried to pull away even as her flaming red hair fell into his face, but he was held frozen in place._

_“I won’t betray my prince,” Kunzite growled._

_“Oh but you will,” Beryl hissed into his ears. “You will.”_

“Yes your majesty,” Kunzite bowed automatically still trying to shake off the unexplainable flashes. “It will be as you command,” he said as he stood tall once again and turned away.

“And Kunzite!” she called after him. 

“Yes your majesty?”

“You must bring him in alive,” she ordered. 

“Of course your majesty,” Kunzite nodded. He had no intention of killing the prince. Not until he got to the bottom of these visions. 

He dared not call them memories.

…

Mamoru poured over a map of the city, trying to identify the densest population centers. Those would be the areas the Dark Kingdom would most likely target. The problem was, those areas changed as the day progressed. But if he could identify a pattern maybe he could suggest a patrol route to Usagi that she could share with the other senshi. It wasn’t enough to meet a force of dozens of youmas at once, but it was more organized and systematic in defending against a larger force than anything he or the senshi had implemented so far. 

Perhaps he could identify strategic alleyways to create a few bottlenecks. They could hold out much longer that way, but it would only work when they were fighting in the downtown district.

His strategizing was interrupted by a rapid succession of knocks on the door. He glanced at the wall clock. It was a little after ten. Who would be here at this hour? 

He opened the door to find Usagi in tears standing just over the threshold. 

“Usako! What’s wrong?” he asked taking her into his arms, pulling her into the room.

“I guess you’ll be wanting to break up with me now,” she managed through the sobs.

“Usako,” he said gently. “What are you talking about?”

“Minako!” she cried out, pulling away from him. 

“Who?”

“Sailor Venus,” she repeated more calmly. “She’s the girl that showed up and saved us all. She’s _the_ princess Mamo-chan! The _real_ one. The one you’re are _supposed_ to love.”

He stiffened. The princess had shown up? He had been so certain Usagi was the princess. Had he given up on his princess weeks too early? His analytical mind started to input this new bit of information.

He immediately stopped the mental wheels from turning. The broken hearted Usako, still as selfless as ever, stood in front of him, perfectly willing to let him go chase his dreams _even_ if they lead him away from her. He did not deserve her.

He pulled her once again to his chest. She did not resist, though she remained limp in his embrace.

“Usako,” he reassured. “I don’t care if she is the empress herself. She’s not _you_. You are my princess. I thought I told you that,” he said urging her head up so that he could look into her eyes.

“But what if you’re supposed to be with her?” she repeated unhappily. “Old soul-mates destined to meet again and again?”

He shook his head. “I will not be a slave to my old life any longer. If I stay loyal to the old one, I have a tendency not to live this one. This is my life and in this life, I choose you Tsukino Usagi. You are my little rabbit.”

“Really?” she asked through her tears.

“Really!” he said laughing.

“I think you might be a very big idiot Mamo-chan, but I am glad.”

He kissed her gently.

“Are you sure you don’t even want to meet her first?” she asked as she pulled away.

“Yes, Usako!” he insisted.

“Too bad! You’re going to have to meet her eventually! She’s my friend. And since she’s the princess, we have to protect her.”

He envied how easily she made friends.

She pushed past him, looking at the map, covered in his scrawled notes.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Trying to figure out how you, me, and the other senshi can defend this city from dozens of youmas attacking simultaneously all by ourselves.”

“Oh,” she said in a quiet voice. “We didn’t do very well today did we?”

“You shouldn’t feel bad Usako. We were all caught off guard and unprepared. They’ve never done anything like this before. Though you could have told me why you were really leaving tonight,” he scolded.

“I’m sorry! I panicked. I didn’t know how to tell you with other people there. And I didn’t have time to figure it out!”

“Well, we’re going to have to figure out how to communicate better if these are the kinds of threats we have to handle,” he said gesturing back to the map. She nodded in agreement.

“What’re we going to do?” she asked, her voice small.

“We’ll figure it out,” he insisted. “You want to see what I’ve come up with so far?”

She nodded and so he took her through it.

“I wish I could get Mizuno-san to take a look at it,” he said running his hand through his hair. “She’d be great at figuring out the patterns. And two heads working on these kind of things usually sees more holes than just one.”

“Why can’t you?” Usagi asked.

“Well, it’d kind of give us away. And I know that you want to protect your friends from all of this.”

“R-right,” she stuttered. Then she gathered up all the maps. 

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’ll give it to Sailor Mercury,” she explained. “She’s kind of the brains of our operation.”

“I doubt anyone can come close to Mizuno-san,” he said with genuine respect.

Usagi laughed. “If anyone can come close, it’s Sailor Mercury.”

“Alright, and where will you say you got these ideas?” he asked.

She froze. “Umm… from Luna probably.”

“And Luna will go along with that?”

“She will if I don’t tell her!” she said brightly. “The only other thing we could do Mamo-chan would be to reveal yourself.”

“Maybe we need to. Right now, we really need to work together. It’ll probably be another few weeks before we’re attacked, but when we are it’ll probably be another simultaneous assault.”

She bit her lower lip considering his words. He smiled affectionately watching her face scrunch in concentration.

Her eyes finally refocused on him. “If we have some time, let me work on them for a week or two, soften them up a bit. They really don’t trust Tuxedo Kamen – he’s too fixated on Sailor Moon, whom they all are obsessed with protecting.”

“Usako, you’re talking about yourself in the third person,” he commented. “And there’s absolutely nothing malicious in my choice of _fixations_ ,” he added defensively.

She grinned and kissed him again. “I know that! But still… just wait a little while.”

He nodded. “Whatever you think is best.”

“Oh my!” she exclaimed. “It’s so late! My parents are going to kill me! I have to go!”

“Of course,” he agreed. “Let me give you a ride home.”

The journey to her house did not take long. 

“Good night Mamo-chan!” she waved enthusiastically. “Tomorrow you can meet Minako-chan! We’ll be at the arcade after school.” 

He made himself smile.

“Sleep well Usako,” he said before driving away.

Once he returned home and lay in his own bed, he found sleep to be elusive. He stared at the rose garden drawing now mounted on the wall. The princess’s eyes seemed to pierce his own. And he could not help but wonder if his heart had betrayed him.

He _really_ didn’t want to meet this Minako.

…

“Do you understand me?” the bleach white haired general asked. 

“Yes, Kunzite-sama! Leave it to me,” the green skinned creature said with a measured bow before immediately disappearing to complete her mission.

Kunzite stared at the empty space for a long moment knowing he had just sent the creature to her death. Single handedly, the youma didn’t stand a chance against the city’s protectors. But, she would be effective in bringing out his target.

It took less than two hours.

Kunzite watched from the darkness between realities, indifferent as the magic golden tiara struck the insolent creature. Her shriek cut through the night as she turned to dust.

He did not care. Certainly not for the monster that had questioned him one time too many. In fact, if anything he felt pride in how efficiently the masked man had immobilized his adversary so that Sailor Moon could finish him off. 

But that thought didn’t make any sense.

The battle over, Kunzite stalked the masked vigilante as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop. Kunzite stayed to the shadows ever unseen. Eventually they arrived at a high-rise apartment building in the Azuban District. The general watched as his adversary leapt to one balcony in particular and disappeared inside.

And with the address in hand, Kunzite would have access to all the information he needed to destroy the elusive prince of earth.

_If_ that was what he still wanted.

…

Mamoru wrung his hands nervously. His sweaty palms reminding him that he should probably make his way to the bathroom for a wash before the girls arrived. He didn’t want Usagi to even guess at the uncertainty blazing through his mind.

He berated himself for the thought. He had meant every word he said to her, but he couldn’t keep himself from wondering. He had obsessed over the princess for all of his life – all of it that he could remember anyway. How could he not think about it? The timing of Sailor Venus’ appearance had coincided almost exactly with his dreams.

“Mamo-chan!” the cheerful voice broke his less than productive cyclical thoughts and he found himself grinning without restraint as the young blond tackled him with her embrace.

“Usako!” he greeted.

His smile faded when he turned to look up at yet another blue-eyed blond in a school uniform trailing behind his girlfriend awkwardly. The resemblance between the two girls was uncanny.

Usagi immediately pulled back from his arms leaving him feeling cold and strangely bereft as he faced this… he didn’t know what to call it… trial?

“This is Aino Minako. She just transferred this week. She and Mako-chan have the same homeroom teacher.” She paused turning her sapphire eyes back to him. “And this, is Chiba Mamoru, my boyfriend.”

“Pleasure to meet you Aino-san,” Mamoru said with a forced smile as he offered her his hand. 

She took it politely with a slight graceful bow of her head.

Mamoru froze. It was bad enough that Minako _looked_ like the princess. But the way she had just _moved_... it was eerily familiar.

“The pleasure is mine Chiba-san,” she was saying. “Shall we eat?”

After they ordered, Usagi filled the silence with her endless chatter. He sat grateful that he didn’t have to say a word – only smile and laugh in all the right places, which he somehow managed to do.

“Well, if you both will excuse me for a second, I think I need to use the lady’s room,” Usagi announced rising to her feet.

Before he could really process what she said, she had vanished leaving him alone with her newest senshi friend. 

“The two of you seem rather adorable!” Minako squealed in delight.

“Uh… thanks.”

She leaned forward across the table. He met her piercing blue eyes. He wanted nothing more than to run.

“Do you believe in soul mates?” she whispered, suddenly serious.

“What?” he repeated. Could she mean…?

“I mean, how do you know?” she continued.

“Know what?”

“That _she’s_ the _one_.” 

Mamoru sat paralyzed, his mind reeling. 

“I mean, what if she’s destined to be with another?”

That thought brought his scattered mind to a clear focus. Usako with another? Over his dead body.

_You can’t have it both ways._

“I…”

Just then Usagi returned and they both turned to her with wide smiles.

The rest of lunch passed by without event, but the encounter had left him shaken to his core.

Minako _looked_ like the princess, perhaps even more than Usagi did. Not in the blond hair and blue eyes, but in the way she carried herself. The way she moved. She had the _grace_ and _mannerisms_ of his princess. He could easily picture her as the woman in his painting. And the questions she threw at him. Did he believe in soul mates? Who, besides the princess, would ask that in a first encounter? Did she know who he was? 

“Mamoru-kun? You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Motoki asked, concerned. 

Mamoru turned to his best friend. “What if I gave up too soon?”

“Gave up on what?”

“The princess.”

Motoki’s eyes darkened. “Mamoru-kun, are you sure you want to go there?”

Mamoru shook his head emphatically. “I know for a fact that I don’t! But I can’t help but think about it.” 

“You know what I think?” Motoki offered. “I think that things are going so well with Usagi-chan. Maybe too well, and you’re starting to freak out a little bit about how much you care for her. So your mind is searching for a way to sabotage it.”

Mamoru said nothing to this. He supposed it was possible. Mamoru had never really felt he deserved to be happy, but he also couldn’t really tell Motoki the entire story. This was so much more complicated than a case of cold feet.

…

Kunzite stood cloaked across the street from the Crown Arcade. His target sat in his usual stool. Kunzite almost didn’t have to follow him anymore. The boy’s schedule was _entirely_ too routine. Somehow, this was disappointing to the Dark Kingdom general. The prince ought to know better.

Now where had _that_ thought originated? 

“Kunzite! What are you still doing here?” Zoisite hissed into his ear, interrupting his musings.

“Studying my enemy,” he responded, never taking his eyes off his target.

“With such undivided focus. Carful Kunz. I may get jealous,” Zoisite cooed draping an arm and resting his chin on Kunzite’s shoulder.

“You have no reason to be jealous,” Kunzite said seriously, still not moving.

“Kunzite, why are you still here?” Zoisite asked again. “We both know you have what you need.”

“I’m missing something Zoi.”

“Kunzite,” the blond whispered urgently. “You need to get on the offensive soon. Queen Beryl will destroy you herself if you keep stalling.”

“He’s completely confused right now,” Kunzite whispered.

“What?” Zoisite asked, incredulous.

“Yeah, you can see it. See how deeply he’s pulling his shoulders back forcing himself to stand completely straight.”

“So?”

“He’s really frustrated with himself right now. He’s totally lost, obsessing over something. Probably something that is so obviously simple,” he said finding himself grinning in amusement.

It took him a second to catch the feeling. He erased it immediately with a frown. He felt like two different people.

“I don’t follow…” Zoisite interrupted his thoughts. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“How do I know that Zoi?” Kunzite asked, finally turning toward his younger compatriot.

“You have been watching him for weeks, you were bound to pick up on a few patterns. And now you need to put that information to good use! Her majesty is getting more impatient by the second!”

“No, I have been able to read him this well since day one of my observations. How am I able to do that? I’ve only ever faced this man on the opposite side of a battlefield.”

“I don’t know Kunzite. What does it matter?”

“It matters because it means I’m missing something. I have this feeling that it should be so obvious!”

“Kunzite, I’m really starting to get scared for you. It’s not like you to become so obsessive or treat the queen’s threats so offhandedly. 

Kunzite dismissed his partner’s concerns with a wave of his hand.

“This is important Zoi. I know it is.”

“So important that you’d risk your life?” he cried. 

Kunzite met his lover’s gaze without hesitation.

“Yes Zoi, I think it is the most important thing I’ve ever done.”

Mamoru had just left the arcade. Kunzite turned and moved to follow.

“Kunzite?”

Kunzite could not ignore the pain in Zoisite’s voice. If it had been anyone else he could have walked on without regret. He turned back.

Zoi’s crushed his lips against his own, tasting of desperation and fear. Kunzite’s heart broke at the stress he was putting his lover under. He wished he could somehow absorb all the pain. 

“Go,” Zoisite directed as he pulled away.

Kunzite searched the deep green eyes before him.

“Zoi, I…” he began.

“Go,” Zoisite interrupted harshly gently shoving the white haired general after the Terran prince.

Kunzite shot the younger general a smile, feeling lucky that the younger man understood him so well, before he moved obediently to the prince’s shadow. Zoisite didn’t need to tell him twice.

…

Mamoru felt his neck prickling. He turned around to confront only empty space. He turned back to his coffee, but he couldn’t chase away the unsettling feeling that had been following him for the last two weeks. He felt like a frog on a dissection tray.

He raked his fingers through his hair. He was probably imagining it.

For two weeks?

Ever since he had met Minako. He felt so torn and conflicted. That’s probably what this was. Who would have reason to watch him?

“Mamo-chan!” the delighted voice sent his pulse racing. Kami, he missed her.

So why had he been avoiding her?

“Usako!” he let his eyes drink in her presence.

“Where have you been?” she demanded as she threw herself around his waist. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

He breathed in her scent.

“I’ve missed you too,” and he realized that he meant it. Even though he had actively been avoiding her, he felt part of himself missing without their daily encounters. Even the months leading up to their getting together he had been able to count on her dashing into him or shouting insults at him.

He couldn’t keep doing this to her, he realized. She deserved better. 

There was no way Minako could be the princess.

Either that, or you’ve totally moved on… he thought guiltily.

As if summoned by his thoughts, the doors opened to allow Minako entrance into the arcade. 

“Usako I’m sorry, but I…”

“You’re not leaving are you?” she asked. 

“Yes Usako, I’m afraid I have to. I have some office hours that I need to attend,” he explained.

“But…”

“I’ll call you,” he promised turning around to drop some cash on the counter. 

“Your professors don’t hold office hours on Thursdays. It’s been our afternoon off all term,” Motoki whispered accusingly as he swept up the cash.

Mamoru tensed and shot what he hoped was a pleading look at his friend.

Motoki waved him away, “I will see you tomorrow Mamoru-kun.”

Which meant that Motoki would not blow his cover, but that he expected some kind of explanation. Mamoru would deal with that tomorrow.

He turned back to Usagi, gave her a chaste kiss trying to ignore the sudden disappointment that lived in her eyes.

Why did he keep hurting her?

She deserved so much better than him. 

“I promise I’ll call tonight,” he said again. She nodded and he moved towards the exit. 

Minako glared at him as he moved away. 

He could not meet her eyes.

…

Kunzite stared at her majesty’s features as though seeing her for the first time. Her dress and gloves clung to her curves like living vines. Her lips luscious and soft, as deep red as a rose, which contrasted sharply against her pale skin. Her fire red hair crackled around her like a breathing fire. And her dark eyes seemed to cut straight through him. She was beautiful, impossibly so. 

He had always known that, but now he felt like he could see the cruelty pouring out of her eyes, the sneer that hid just behind her seductive smile. Did she care about anything or anyone?

“Kunzite! You’ve had weeks observing the man! Surely you know his weaknesses by now! It is time to spring the trap!”

“Queen Beryl-sama, I am only trying to be thorough. I very much feel that I am missing something. Something important that could be the difference between victory and defeat.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“What reason do you have for this suspicion?”

That was just it. He didn’t have a reason. Chiba Mamoru was a successful student with two obvious weaknesses: a friend who worked at the arcade and a young blond girl. The general knew it was simple to use this to his advantage.

But he still couldn’t explain the baffling visions or how he could read the prince as well as he could read Zoisite and better than he had ever been able to read Nephrite or Jadeite.

“It’s just a hunch, your majesty,” Kunzite admitted reluctantly.

“I will give you one more day. _One_ day Kunzite!”

“Thank you your majesty,” and with a closed fist to his chest, he bowed before making a hasty exit.

…

“Chiba-san!” a delighted voice greeted him.

He looked up expecting to see Usagi. He wilted the second he realized Usagi would never call him that. When his eyes met another blue-eyed blond, he winced. Her eyes darkened at his expression.

“Aino-san,” he said forcing a smile. “I can’t really-

“Join me for a cup of tea?” she interrupted.

“I don’t think I can Aino-san. I am meeting Usagi in about thirty minutes,” he argued glancing down at his watch.

“Chiba-san, we need to talk,” she said sharply. 

His eyebrows rose in surprise at the seriousness of her tone. He wanted to bolt. Truly the girl in front of him should have no reason for a conversation with him. They barely knew each other. Had only exchanged a handful of words.

Not unless she actually was the princess. Did she know who he was? Was she aware of his betrayal of the princess? He didn’t want to have this conversation. He was about to say as much. 

But something in her eyes told him this was important. He couldn’t keep running from this. It wasn’t fair to Usagi _or_ to the princess.

“Very well,” he said gesturing for her to take a seat at the outdoor café.

He sat opposite her and waited politely, terrified of what she had to say.

“Chiba-san? Have I done something to offend you?” she finally asked.

He looked across the table at her startled. That had been the last thing he had ever expected her to say. “Whatever would make you think that?”

“Every time I walk into a room you disappear. Even Usagi-chan has noticed.”

“I’m sorry Aino-san. I never meant anything by it. It’s just… you remind me a lot of someone that I… used to know.”

“You knew this person well?”

Mamoru considered the girl before him, contemplating his answer. Suddenly, he felt incredibly at ease, certain he could trust this girl with almost anything.

“I thought I did, but now I’m not sure I knew her at all,” he confided.

“She hurt you?”

“What? No. What makes you says that?”

“I’m just still trying to figure out why it always feels like you’re throwing daggers through the back of my head.”

The sense of closeness and understanding he felt a second ago vanished. Instead he felt immensely irritated that she had made this about her. She didn’t even seem to care that it was actually Usagi that he was neglecting. He tried to wipe the annoyance away. He wasn’t being fair and he knew it. She was young – didn’t truly know how to listen or to understand.

_Usagi is just as young and you wouldn’t have been irritated with her at all. The thought was a revelation._

He shook his head in amazement. It didn’t matter if this girl in front of him was the princess. He didn’t _feel_ anything when she smiled. Not anything more than when any other person did. Instead of finding her faults endearing, they rubbed him exactly the wrong way. He clearly felt nothing for her.

When Usako entered a room his pulse quickened. When she smiled, it was like the sun was rising. And when he went home, he dreamed and fantasized that she was there with him. It was Usako he missed. Usako that he loved.

“Forgive me Aino-san. I never meant any offense. I will not let the shadows of my past dictate how I treat you in the future,” he said stiffly.

“Thank you! And please, call me Minako. You are Usagi-chan’s boyfriend are you not? That means we should be more personal!”

“Didn’t you just meet Usagi a few weeks ago?” he asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Yeah, but haven’t you ever just felt a connection with someone? Like you just click?”

He smiled. “Why yes, I believe I have,” he said softly, thinking of Usako himself. The depth of his feelings _still_ surprised him – sometimes they even scared him.

“You had better not hurt her,” she growled interrupting his thoughts.

“Excuse me?”

“Usagi!” she exclaimed. “If you hurt her, you will answer to _me_.”

Mamoru wanted to laugh. This slip of a girl was threatening _him_! How could anyone take her seriously?

_She is Sailor Venus_ , he reminded himself.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said smoothly.

“Good!” she declared with a smile, “Then we should get along famously!”

“Chiba!” a shrill voice interrupted him. “Why do I always catch you sitting across from the wrong girl?”

He looked right up into purple eyes dripping with accusation.

“You’re right Hino-san. I should be going. Can’t keep Usako waiting,” he said rising to his feet.

She continued to glare at him.

“Minako-san, a pleasure,” and he left with a smile.

“You too Mamoru-san!”

…

Kunzite watched as the black haired prince surprised his young girlfriend from behind. He seized her and spun her in a small circle.

“Mamo-chan!” she said laughing. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Just excited to see you!” he said. “It’s been too long.”

“That it has,” she agreed. “I thought something was wrong. Has something changed?” she asked.

“Not really. I’m just realizing what an idiot I’ve been,” he said pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I think I was so used to never having what I wanted, that when I finally did, I didn’t recognize it.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“I love you… Usako.”

“Mamo-chan…” she whispered.

“I love the way you stick your tongue out of the corner of you mouth when concentrating on a challenging problem, that you get excited over a chocolate shake as if it was the first one you’ve ever had, that you are afraid of thunder, and that you cry over manga. That you never give up on your friends. You are the most compassionate and patient person I have ever met. You love this whole world and never seem to stop trying to take care of it.”

Her cheeks reddened and her eyes misted.

“I love you too,” she said softly.

Kunzite clutched his head – as the world seemed to spin around him. 

_He walked to his liege lord’s chambers with his report in hand and froze as he passed over the threshold. His young prince stood holding the equally young princess of the Silver Imperium close._

_“I love you Serenity,” he said caressing the side of her face._

_“I love you too Endymion.”_

_“I love the way you twirl your hair around a finger when you’re nervous. I love the way you light up in the garden as if you’ve never seen a flower in bloom…_

_“Endymion! What has possessed you?” Kunzite interrupted marching further into the room._

_“Kunzite!” Endymion muttered in panic even as he pushed the girl behind him. “You don’t understand!”_

_“I fear I understand far too well my prince,” he said sadly to his protégé and liege lord. “Please tell me that you have not consummated your love.”_

_When both sets of cheeks turned flaming red, he breathed a sigh of relief. Well, thank the gods for that._

_“Kunzite!” Endymion roared again. “How dare you ask that of me?”_

_“Forgive my insolence your highness. But you must understand. You both must understand the precarious position we are all in. Her presence on Earth is forbidden. And if you’re discovered here it could be misconstrued as a kidnapping and hostage situation.”_

_The princess gasped in horror._

_“And if you stole her innocence… well, let’s just say wars have been declared for far less.”_

_He could see the heart of the young prince shattering._

_“But I love her,” he said brokenly._

_Kunzite studied his charge carefully._

_“I know you do lad,” he said gently. “And the best way you can protect her and her kingdom is to send her back home. Anything else may result in a war that could last generations and could destroy both your kingdoms.”_

_The princess pushed past her prince and kneeled before him._

_“Please!” she begged. “I will go willingly, but please don’t say we can never see each other again! Please!”_

_How could he say no to such an angelic face? And one that clearly loved his prince, a boy Kunzite had mentored since he was three._

_“I will see what I can do,” he promised. It was foolish. He knew he’d live to regret this. One slip up could spell disaster. But he couldn’t sacrifice the heart of his prince. He would hate to see the boy’s heart become hard and cynical._

The general stumbled as he came back to himself. The memory didn’t make any sense. Why would he have been concerned about a war between the Earth and the Silver Imperium? Why would have cared for the prince that lead his enemies’ armies?

But the vision suggested that he owed the prince his loyalty – that he had trained the prince himself. Kunzite remembered none of it.

What had Beryl done to him?

…

Zoisite watched Kunzite storm past.

“Kunzite, what are you doing?” the blond hissed, leaping to follow in the older man’s wake.

“Not now Zoi,” he said harshly.

“Kunzite! You can’t do this!” Zoisite begged. “She’ll kill you!”

Kunzite stopped in his tracks and turned toward his lover. For a split second Zoisite actually feared his superior would strike him, but then Kunzite’s eyes softened.

“I’m sorry Zoi. I have to do this. I need to know,” he entreated.

Zoisite did not understand.

“You can’t be with me,” Kunzite said harshly pushing him away again. Zoisite felt as though he had been burned. He watched as Kunzite marched away into the throne room. Toward what Zoisite feared would be his death.

_He’s trying to protect you_ , Zoisite realized. _Trying to make certain that the queen’s wrath doesn’t spill over unto you._

“What did you do to me?” Kunzite demanded of the queen. _This was bad._

Zoisite forced himself to stroll slowly into the throne room. Truly he wanted to run to Kunzite’s side. He could not abandon his greatest friend now.

“I’m sorry?” the queen asked sweetly.

Zoisite’s blood ran cold.

“Why can’t I remember? Why can’t I remember training the prince?” Kunzite demanded.

“Kunzite? What has gotten into you?” Zoisite interrupted draping a reassuring arm on Kunzite’s shoulder, playing up the concern for all it was worth. Maybe he would see sense. He could still walk away from this. 

Kunzite tore away from his tender gesture with an icy glare. Zoisite shriveled away.

“Kunzite,” the queen said coldly. “What you say makes no sense. You are perfectly aware that you did not train the prince.”

“You kidnapped me! All of us! You’ve brainwashed us and kept us from remembering the truth!” Kunzite accused.

“Kunzite,” the queen said soothingly as she rose from her throne and approached him. “I don’t know what’s come over you. Please follow me and I will ease your tortured mind.”

Zoisite’s innards turned to ice.

“No!” Kunzite said pulling away from the queen. “You cannot fool me anymore.”

Her eyes narrowed. 

“So be it,” she said coldly. Her dark eyes seemed to pierce through Kunzite’s. “I would have been gentle had you come willingly.”

She struck him with her power. Kunzite’s scream echoed throughout the hall, ricocheting and striking through the younger general again and again.

Zoisite could not look away. He watched in frozen horror. He had witnessed Queen Beryl’s wrath on more than one occasion, but he had always assumed, always trusted, that she would never turn her power against them. They were her highest and most loyal of vassals.

This meant that Kunzite had been correct. Whatever had been nagging him at the corner of his mind – whatever it was that he had remembered – it had to be true.

Zoisite wanted to crumple to the floor, his world, his foundation, his love had all completely shattered to pieces around him. But he had to stand tall. He could not show it. He could not ever show it.

Or all would be lost.

\-------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I lied! This is going to be four chapters now. (Make that seven!) And I’ve started working on a sequel too! So more to come in the future! Yay! 
> 
> Last shout out goes to Lindsey Stirling. Her music (I would describe it as pop violinist? She has a little bit of a celtic feel. Often gets together with groups to play video game and tv themes like Assasin’s Creed or Game of Thrones) just inspires me to write! I was playing her album in the background and there was one track in particular that always seemed to make the words between Usagi and Mamoru flow! I finally looked up to my amplifier’s display and laughed out loud when I realized the song was titled “Moon Trance”.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to review! 
> 
> P.S. And seriously, eat cherries! They’re good for you! www.Choosecherries.com/pdfs/cherries_FINAL_Red_Report.pdf


	6. Sacrifice

**Chapter 6: Sacrifice**

Zoisite lay sprawled on his stomach across the large feather mattress. The bed felt empty and barren without his partner, but he couldn’t stay away. It was the only way to feel close to the grey-eyed general. _What did she do to you_ , Zoisite wondered. _What did she do to all of us?_

Zoisite hadn’t recovered any memories, but he suddenly felt that all this was wrong. Maybe it was because Kunzite wasn’t there, maybe it was because he trusted his lover more than anyone and if he said they were brainwashed, they were brainwashed. Which meant he had spent an entire lifetime that he couldn’t remember serving the Terran Prince. 

As impossible as that seemed.

“Milord Zoisite, the queen summons you to the throne room,” the creature interrupted his thoughts.

Zoisite forced himself to stand and follow the youma without strangling the vile creature for invading his personal space. To ignore a summons from the queen was fatal. And Zoisite had vowed to survive… at least, until he discovered Kunzite’s fate.

Arriving at the throne room, Zoisite didn’t even see the queen. His eyes were only for the white haired man standing to her right. 

“Kunzite!” Zoisite cried leaping forward before he remembered himself. He forced himself to slow and actually take in the scene. Something was wrong.

Kunzite was there, but his eyes were cold. His left hand placed comfortingly on the Queen’s bare shoulder.

“You’ve recovered,” Zoisite said more calmly. “I’m so glad her majesty was able to help you.”

“Your concern is noted,” Kunzite said distantly.

Zoisite inwardly cringed.

“Zoisite, I was just informing Kunzite that we are ready to move forward with his plan,” the queen announced.

“His plan?” Zoisite repeated, confused. 

“Yes, his plan to capture the Terran Prince,” Beryl explained. “You are ready are you not, Zoisite?”

“Yes, of course your majesty.”

“Then I want both of you to see to it immediately,” she ordered.

“Yes, my queen,” Kunzite said, clapping a fist to his shoulder, his eyes remained flat – there was no emotion or passion in them. He then rose to his feet and stepped toward a black portal. 

Zoisite watched him go mournfully, wondering where the Kunzite he had known had gone. 

“Zoisite! Why are you just standing _there_?” the queen demanded.

Zoisite jumped out of his thoughts.

“My apologies majesty,” he said with bowed head before following his friend, mentor, and lover. 

If Kunzite was damned to hell, Zoisite wasn’t going to let him go alone. 

…

Kunzite materialized three paces behind the young schoolgirl. The sun had just risen above the horizon. She was probably on her way to school. She kept walking forward with a black cat trailing in her wake, completely oblivious to his presence. The prince should have left those he cared about better protected.

Kunzite flew forward and placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

Her scream pierced the morning air as he drained energy from her. His eyes widened in shock at the vast energy source contained within this small vessel. He’d have to hold onto this hostage. Her energy might be enough to begin The Awakening all on her own.

He suddenly reeled backwards as a sharp pain struck his wrist.

Kunzite shook off the offensive black feline, before gripping the girl’s shoulders again. This time he just pulled her through the portal to the crystal tower Zoisite had prepared to hold the girl until the prince showed up to save her.

“That was fast,” Zoisite commented, his eyes never leaving their unconscious prisoner.

“Did you expect her to put up a fight?” Kunzite asked, his voice indifferent. “She’s a child.”

“Of course,” Zoisite agreed with a bowed head.

Kunzite frowned at the younger man’s subservient attitude. He expected confidence and leadership from his generals.

“Zoisite!” the white haired man scolded. “Pull yourself together. We’re in the middle of an important operation.”

Zoisite’s spine stiffened and he held his head up. “Yes milord!”

Kunzite still frowned. Something still did not seem quite right about the young man’s demeanor.

“Is the team ready?” Kunzite asked. 

“As you ordered milord.”

“Good would you report our progress to her majesty?” 

“Of course,” Zoisite said bowing before disappearing behind a veil of soft white petals.

No sooner had Zoisite vanished than the girl began to stir.

“What do you want with _me_?” she demanded as she took in her surroundings.

“You are quite spirited. I suppose that makes sense. The prince never preferred his women soft and docile,” the white haired general sneered.

“The prince?” she echoed.

“Oh forgive my manners. I had assumed you, his lover, would already know of his past. And of his current responsibilities.”

“I have no idea who you are talking about,” she insisted.

“I’m talking about none other than Tuxedo Kamen,” he said. “I’m certain he’ll attempt to come to your rescue. And when he does…” he finished the threat by moving his hand across his own throat.

“Tuxedo Kamen? Why would he come for me?” she asked. She tried to sound incredulous, but Kunzite detected a sudden tremor in her voice. She had not been afraid until he had mentioned the vigilante.

“You know,” he accused calmly. “You know that your boyfriend is Tuxedo Kamen. I am surprised he would have told you. I would think he cared enough to protect you from that violence.”

She leapt to her feet and kicked down hard, just below the belt. He bowled over in agonizing pain.

“You’re an idiot Kunzite! You’re the one that doesn’t have all the information. He doesn’t need to protect me. I’m perfectly capable of defending myself.”

And in a flash of dazzling light she transformed. Into Sailor Moon. For once, she didn’t waste any time before she hurled her crystal tiara into his face.

He laughed even as he deflected the glowing projectile.

“I should have known,” he chided himself. “Though it doesn’t matter, Sailor Moon. He always comes when you’re in danger.”

He whistled and six youmas surrounded her.

Before they could move forward the glass window to his right exploded inward. Kunzite covered his face instinctively and pulled his blade a second later. Tuxedo Kamen had arrived.

The prince threw out roses in rapid succession before he pulled Sailor Moon into his arms and leapt back through the open window.

Kunzite threw his energy blade after the masked hero. He grinned in satisfaction as the blade flew true. It struck right between the prince’s shoulder blades. He faltered in his flight and plummeted to the ground, the senshi still protected in his arms.

“After them!” Kunzite ordered and the youmas immediately leapt forward to obey.

Zoisite materialized at his side.

“Kunzite! What have you _done_? You were supposed to keep the prince alive.”

…

Agony exploded in his back and spread quickly through his chest. It was all he could do to control his sudden rapid descent, very aware of the precious burden he held in his arms.

They crashed roughly to the ground and the masked man remained limp on the ground. He could no longer stand. 

“Tuxedo Kamen!” Sailor Moon shrieked putting pressure on his chest. Her gloves instantly soaked red in his blood.

He stared at the gaping wound in disbelief. He had always managed to pull through, but this time he knew he wouldn’t make it. Kunzite’s blade had torn through him cleanly.

“Usako,” he managed.

“Shh… don’t talk,” she directed tears pouring from her crystal blue eyes. Just past her his eyes focused on the monster stalking closer.

“Usako!” he screamed in warning. But before she had even turned a lightning bolt struck the fiend, stunning him.

He allowed his head to fall back to the ground as the four elemental senshi surrounded them in a protective ring.

He watched in amazement as beams of light sprang from their hands toward one another, creating a protective force field around them.

He knew he didn’t have a lot of time.

“Usako,” he managed again.

“Mamo-chan,” she cried. “You shouldn’t try to speak. I’m trying to heal you.”

“You can’t… heal this… Usako.”

“I have to!” she said shaking her head. “What would I do without you?”

Her words made him forget the pain for a moment as he remembered dying in the princess’s arms once before. 

“Usako! No matter what happens, you have to protect this world,” he demanded harshly.

“Mamo-chan!” She cried. “Don’t talk like that. I can’t do this without you!”

“You have to!” he insisted. “Promise me, that you will protect this world even if I’m no longer in it!”

“I can’t!”

“You must! Now promise me!”

“That’s a selfish thing to ask…” she sobbed.

“It is. The only… selfish thing I will ever ask. So please… don’t deny me this one… last request.”

“I promise,” she said through her tears. “Now you can’t die! It’s your turn to promise me!”

“I would… if I thought that was… a promise… I could keep.”

“Mamo-chan… please don’t leave me…” she begged.

“You are definitely the princess…” he coughed, the physical agony became so sharp, his vision blurred. He almost felt he floated above it. “She always… asked impossible things… of me...”

He felt his eyes getting heavy, his eyelids felt thick. He let them close.

“Mamo-chan!” she screamed. And again he could feel her anguish as if it was his own – just as in the dream. He forced himself to open his eyes. Anything to spare her pain if only for a second.

“I love you, Usako… I’m sorry.”

The last thing he felt was her arms wrapped around him as her hot tears spilled onto his face.

…

Venus almost fell to her knees under the pressure of her princess’s crushing anguish. The sworn soul bond that allowed her insight into her charge’s life and mind, purely so she could act as a body double, also meant she felt ghosts of Serenity’s emotions. And for Venus to feel it this intensely… well, it was amazing the princess hadn’t completely collapsed from the agony of it all.

Venus wanted to run to her charge and soul sister’s side. Her oldest and newest friend needed her, and yet, if the shield dropped they were all dead… again.

No, she wouldn’t let that happen. Not this time.

‘Can you hold the barrier without me?’ Venus asked her team mind to mind.

‘Not for long,’ Mars thought back, ‘but a few minutes sure.’

‘Go to her, please.’ Mercury begged.

Venus realized they could all feel it. They shouldn’t have been able to. Not yet. Except they were all connected to their charge through her, she realized.

She tore away from the link and came to her knees at the princess’s side.

It was her duty now and forever to protect the princess, but she didn’t know how to fight this emotional tsunami of pain. Last time Serenity had faced this kind of loss it had not ended well.

“Sailor Moon,” Venus insisted, forcing the girl’s eyes upward with a gentle finger on her chin, but they did not focus on her.

“I can’t live without him Minako,” she cried brokenly.

“You have to!” Venus insisted. “He sacrificed himself so that you could live. Don’t let it be for nothing.”

“He made me promise not kill myself. Why would he do that?” she asked, her voice hollow. Venus froze at her words. Tuxedo Kamen must have been the incarnation of Endymion. He must have half remembered bits of his past life. How would he have known to secure her promise not to end her own life?

“Mamo-chan!” she sobbed, rocking the still form back and forth as if she could urge him back to life. 

Mamo-chan? Chiba Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen? And Usagi had known all along, Venus realized. And to think Venus had been worried about the relationship – she feared it had been destined to fail because she knew Usagi had a prince somewhere waiting for her. Apparently, she had already found him.

“I refuse to accept your dying. How could you leave me?” the princess sobbed, tears splashing from her face.

Venus stumbled backwards, watching in awe as silver light seemed to gather around her charge. Sailor Moon did not seem to notice even has her sailor fuku lengthened into a pure white flowing gown.

Venus cursed inwardly as Sailor Moon completed her transformation into the Moon Princess, her identity completely revealed to every enemy within sight. At least the barrier still held. Princess Serenity had never made her job as bodyguard easy.

Now the girl was glowing brighter than the moon itself, silver energy literally crackled around her lancing outward in unpredictable patterns and spirals.

It wasn’t hard to imagine what the girl would do with it.

…

The pain had vanished, replaced with tingling warmth. A pulsing silver light enveloped the darkness. Compelled, Mamoru moved towards it like a moth to flame. He knew with certainty that in the light’s presence he would find peace. Maybe dying wasn’t so bad. His eyes fluttered open and his vision was filled with none other than the princess of his dreams.

“Serenity,” he whispered in disbelief. He reached his hand up to caress her face. That was her name! He laughed hysterically, clinging to the knowledge of the princess’ name as if his very life depended on it. Maybe it did.

Was this even real? He wondered. He was certain that he had been dead. But he looked down and the wound was gone. She gently took his hand in her own. He decided that it had to be real. And if it wasn’t, he didn’t want to know. As her tear filled blue eyes met his own he realized that she was far more than just his princess.

She was Usagi, his sweet clumsy Usako. She was his princess just as he had thought. Looking at her now, he wondered how he could ever have doubted it. No dream princess could compare.

He wanted to laugh. He had always felt that he had betrayed the dream admitting to himself that he loved the young heroine. Turns out, he should have let go sooner.

“Endymion,” she whispered.

That had been his name he realized. A long time ago when he was the prince of the Earth as she was the princess of the Moon. They weren’t supposed to have ever met. And once discovered, their union had been forbidden, he recalled distantly.

“I think I prefer Mamo-chan,” he said quietly.

She smiled and dove into his chest, her white gown fluttering around her.

“And I prefer Usako!” she announced happily. “Please don’t ever leave me again.”

“Sailor Moon!” Venus chastised. “I’m really happy for you and your prince and all, but maybe you should use some of that new found power to get us out of this!”

The princess came to her feet and closed her eyes. 

The multi-colored barrier held by her protectors flickered out. Just as it came down, she sent out a white shockwave that brushed past him harmlessly as a slight breeze. The youma surrounding them were not so lucky, collapsing to the ground as the wave struck them.

Then the Sailor Senshi disappeared one by one as Usagi sent them each away. Mamoru came to his feet and took her hand. Her eyes never opened but she smiled at his touch.

The world around him started to spin and he felt Usagi’s grasp on his hand go limp.

“Usako!” he cried tightening his grip on her hand, realizing that she had used the last of her energy to send him to safety. He had to bring her with him.

“Not so fast Princess,” Kunzite growled seemingly out of nowhere.

His former vassal tore the nearly unconscious girl from his grasp. Mamoru leapt forward angrily, but they both faded from his sight.

He attempted to charge forward, but numerous hands suddenly held him back.

“Calm down Tuxedo Kamen! There’s no one here to fight,” Sailor Jupiter said as she held his arms.

“She’s in danger!” he cried tearing away from the senshi’s grip. “Kunzite has her.”

“ _What_?” Mars demanded.

“I can’t get a reading,” Mercury reported as she typed furiously into a blue keypad. 

“She’s terrified,” he whispered.

“How do you know _that_?” Venus demanded.

He could feel it. Like he always could when she was in danger. But for once he didn’t know which way to go. It was like she was everywhere… and nowhere at the same time. 

…

“I’m terribly sorry majesty,” Kunzite said, kneeling on the marble floor before his queen. “I have failed you completely by allowing the Prince Endymion to survive and escape. I offer my life in forfeit.”

“Fear not, Kunzite,” she purred. “You have done well. You have brought me Serenity. And where the princess is, Endymion will follow.”

\-----


	7. Remembrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: themes of torture ahead. It’s not graphic, but the worst part about torture in my mind is the mental break that occurs so…. consider yourself warned!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 7: Remembrance**

The masked vigilante tore through the city, leaping from rooftop to rooftop trying to chase down the elusive panic that never left him – Usako, his princess was in danger, he could feel her terror as if it was his own. The sensation consumed him completely leaving him unable to think. He kept moving, but he couldn’t find her.

He would never give up. His strategy was to cover as much ground as possible, hoping – praying really – that something would flicker and the guiding cord that connected him to the senshi of the moon would flare back into life. He just needed a spark, for only a split second.

But he had yet to find one – even after a week of searching in every waking moment.

He stumbled in exhaustion as his boots misjudged his landing onto a sloped glassy roof.

He barely managed to catch himself before he fell from the thirty-story skyscraper. He slowly pulled himself back up and rolled to the flat surface, panting. 

It was time to rest. Much as he hated to admit it.

He found a partially sheltered nook two blocks away near a lighting rod. He wrapped his cape around himself as he huddled into the corner planning to get a few hours of sleep before he continued his search. There was little point in returning home, that would just waste time.

It was a sign of his complete exhaustion that the all encompassing never ending fear clutching at his chest didn’t keep him conscious. As soon as he leaned into the cement corner of the building’s roof, his eyes fell closed.

_She lay on a cold metal slab. She struggled to rise, but she remained sill. There are no restraints, her mind screamed in objection. Her arms remained stubbornly impossibly heavy. A panicked sob escaped her throat._

_Just before she lost it completely, a heavy door clanked open. General Kunzite marched forward, his dark grey uniform immaculate. Her muscles involuntarily tensed and her stomach twisted painfully._

_“Serenity,” he greeted smoothly. “How are we today?”_

_“My name is Usagi!” she screamed defiantly._

_“Now princess,” he tutted. “We’ve talked about this. Usagi was just an illusion. Serenity is your true self.”_

_The girl once again tried to fight against the invisible restraints. Muscles ticked and flexed, but not one of them pushed limbs into movement. Frustrated sobs escaped her once again. She knew all too well what was coming._

_“Hush…” Kunzite soothed. “Relax, fighting it only makes it worse.”_

_“My name is Usagi,” she said again, but it was only a whisper._

_“Your name is Serenity,” he said harshly. Blinding pain lanced through her. She couldn’t breath. She couldn’t even cry. Somehow that made it worse._

_She gasped when the agony suddenly lifted. She cried brokenly, her paralysis partially lifted. But not enough. Never enough._

_“Queen Beryl is only trying to help you find your true potential, princess. Accept who you are and the pain will end,” he promised._

_Anything Beryl wanted, she fought against._

_“What is your name?” he asked again._

_“Tsukino Usagi,” she insisted._

_The lightning lanced up and down her body and she let out a silent scream._

_My name is Usagi! She thought even as the excruciating dark lightning pulsed through her body. She would not forget it. If she forgot, she knew she’d be lost._

Mamoru bolted into alertness, the sky lightening in the distance as the sun announced its impending arrival.

The peaceful morning seemed out of place with his racing heart.

“Usako,” he sobbed into his knees. His despair turned to white-hot anger as he thought of his former vassal. The bastard was torturing her. Torturing his beloved and he could do nothing to find her, let alone protect her.

She was so brave, continuing to fight in the only way that she could. He wished he could take the pain for her, but somehow he had only been able to share the experience.

He leapt to his feet resolving to change his tactics. His endless scouring of the city was accomplishing nothing except his own exhaustion. The dream was his first real clue. He needed to focus on strengthening his connection to Usako. If he could master the connection consciously, maybe he could communicate with her.

He turned homeward, the panic still pounding in his chest. But he had something. Usako was alive and fighting. And if she was fighting, he could not give up either. 

…

Kunzite came forward and kneeled before Beryl allowing himself to bask in her presence. It seemed that his internal self existed in constant turmoil, though he did not understand the source. But in her majesty’s presence the rough edges smoothed themselves out and he felt at peace – almost numb.

“Your report Kunzite?” the queen demanded without preamble.

“I regret to inform you that I’m not making much progress your majesty. She still insists that she is Tsukino Usagi.”

“Kunzite, perhaps you need to be more creative,” she suggested tightly. “It is vital you break her. She is the only one with the power to destroy us.”

“Why don’t we just kill her?” he asked in genuine curiosity. He found it amazingly foolish to leave threats alive – especially within the domain of your headquarters.

“She’ll just be reborn and the cycle will begin anew. We’ll have to figure out who she is all over again. That course would only buy us time. It is not a long term solution.”

“Isn’t making her remember Serenity dangerous? Serenity had more knowledge of us and how to use her heritage and gifts.”

“No, Usagi has far more potential than the moon brat. That’s why she was sent to earth and why she was made to forget her previous life. Earth is and always has been the ultimate training ground.

“Whereas, _Serenity is broken_ ,” Beryl continued. “We broke her when we destroyed her world and killed her love. Serenity believes within the core of herself that she is powerless against us. Usagi is a goddess in training. She’s constantly being pushed and tested. I want you to see to it that she never completes her training.”

“Yes your majesty,” he said with another bow of his head.

“The last thing this universe needs is another goddess manipulating and dictating lives to the rest of us,” she ranted under her breadth. 

“My queen?” Kunzite questioned uncertainly.

“Carry on,” she ordered, dismissing him with a flick of her hand.

“Endymion will pay for refusing all that I offered him,” she mumbled. 

…

_Usagi lay limp on the metal slab. She didn’t even try to fight her invisible restraints anymore. What was the point?_

_“Good morning princess,” Kunzite greeted as it strolled in like it was a sunny day on a picnic. Involuntarily she tensed. Then she forced herself to relax – not wanting him to know that his very presence filled her with dread._

_“Don’t worry princess. I won’t hurt you…” he reassured._

_Usagi looked up at him questioningly, not daring to take him at his word._

_“No, I mean it,” he said._

_With a wave of his hand an image appeared above her. Her eyes glued to the summoned vision in horror. Her parents were huddled in a dark corner in a cell that looked just like her own, with arms protectively draped over a disheveled Shingo._

_“No!” she screamed, suddenly struggling again. “Don’t hurt them!” she begged. “They’re innocent – nothing to do with this! Torture me instead.”_

_The general leaned forward and she glared into his steely grey eyes._

_“You have the power to stop this,” he told her. “If only you would accept your true heritage you could save them.”_

_Her eyes turned back to the projected image. Her eyes mostly on her little brother – his sandy brown locks. How often had she wished she had been an only child? She wondered guiltily. If he was tortured because of her, she would never forgive herself._

_“My name is Serenity!” she screamed. “Is that what you want?” she demanded. “Please, don’t hurt them,” she sobbed. “Please.”_

_“See, that wasn’t so hard was it?” his gentle voice mocked._

_She squeezed her eyes shut. My name is Tsukino Usagi, she thought defiantly, no matter what they forced her to say. She couldn’t forget._

Mamoru came back to himself on his couch, sobbing into his hands. He didn’t know what to do anymore.

The visions brought no help – no clues. He only ever saw visions of her being tortured over and over again. And he couldn’t figure out how to help her. He was no closer to communicating with her. And he didn’t know how to contact the other senshi. Not even Minako, the only identity he knew. 

“Usako, forgive me,” he said brokenly.

A knock at the door interrupted his grieving. Mamoru ignored it. He didn’t want to see anyone.

…

Motoki banged on the door again, certain that his absent friend was hiding inside. Motoki knew his friend too well – knew his tendency to shut himself away when things fell apart. What Motoki didn’t know was what had happened. Mamoru hadn’t been the only one to disappear as of late. Usagi hadn’t been by the arcade in almost two weeks and neither had any of her friends. Motoki feared all of this had something to do with the girls.

“Mamoru-kun!” he shouted through the door. “Don’t ignore me!”

Motoki was seriously considering breaking the door down, when the blue obstacle flung open.

“Mamoru-kun! Where have you been?” Motoki demanded.

“Around,” his friend said with no passion. Motoki took in Mamoru’s wrinkled clothes, oily hair, and dark stubble that had sprouted across the man’s face.

“You look awful,” Motoki said gently pushing his way into the apartment. Mamoru didn’t fight him. “What’s happened?”

Mamoru shrugged.

“You stopped coming to class. You don’t even come to the arcade for your morning coffee. Come on man, talk to me,” Motoki ordered.

“She’s real Motoki,” Mamoru said softly, sitting against the back of his couch, his eyes full of tears.

“Who is?”

“The princess.”

Motoki hissed in a breadth. This was bad.

“I had her in my arms and now… Now, she’s gone…”

“But Mamoru-kun, you have a good thing going with Usagi-chan. Do you really want to mess that up for a phantom?”

Mamoru laughed bitterly, “You don’t understand. Usako _is_ the princess.”

Motoki turned solemn. Of course she was. Mamoru would turn any girl he was with into the princess in his dreams.

“Be careful Mamoru-kun. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a girl.”

“I would never hurt her,” Mamoru said. Motoki was taken aback by the intensity of his statement. Somehow this made Motoki more worried, not less. The pair had only been dating for a few months.

“See that you don’t!” Motoki said harshly. “That girl’s become something of a little sister in my heart.”

“I will get her back Motoki-kun,” his eyes shined with determination.

“What do you mean, you will get her back? Did you two have a fight?”

“You could say that,” he said sadly. “But not with each other this time.”

“Mamoru-kun, what’s going on?”

“Usako’s been kidnapped.”

“ _What_? How do you know?”

“I was there!” Mamoru shouted, smashing his fist against the wall. 

Motoki flinched.

“And I couldn’t _do_ anything,” Mamoru said brokenly, letting his forehead press against the wall.

“Do the police have any leads?” Motoki asked, wondering if Usagi’s kidnapping also explained why her friends had vanished as well.

“The police are _worthless_ ,” Mamoru barked angrily.

“You can’t give up hope Mamoru-kun. Someone will find her.”

“Yes,” Mamoru agreed, “and that _someone_ is going to be _me_.”

…

He began the meditation again, but for the first time, he didn’t picture the garden. The garden held no comfort to him – it was an empty husk without his princess. 

Instead, he forced himself to picture the tiny sterile cell. The dark concrete barren walls and the steel grey metal slab in the center of the room.

_Usagi sat in the corner in her white dress, her knees pulled to her chest. She rocked back and forth, but she didn’t make a sound._

_“Usako?” he asked urgently._

_“Mamo-chan? Is that you?” she said, blinking uncertainly at him._

_“Yes, I’m here,” he reassured dropping to the floor to take her in his arms._

_She clung to him, trembling._

_“It hurts,” she sobbed. “But I won’t forget. I won’t forget who I am. My name is Usagi…”_

_His heart broke at the desperation in her voice. She didn’t sound certain anymore._

_“I’m coming, Usako! Just hang in there!”_

_He kissed her forward, as he rocked her back and forth._

_“Just hang in there,” he said again._

_“Mamo-chan?” she called as she suddenly fell forward._

_Mamoru looked down at his hands to find them translucent._

_“I’ll be back Usako. Don’t give up,” he managed, feeling himself being pulled away._

_“Mamo-chan!” her call across the distance shot through him painfully like a discordant note in an orchestra._

He was back on his couch in his apartment. It had worked. He had been there. He had touched her and spoken to her. If next time he could somehow explore the area, maybe he could figure out where she was.

_Next time? Why wait?_

He made himself comfortable and tried to summon the vision again, but the dreams remained elusive.

…

Zoisite trailed after his superior. He felt trapped, surrounded by enemies. He wanted to run. He wanted to give up. He didn’t have the energy to pretend anymore. 

“Kunzite,” Zoisite began, “I need your help.”

“If you’re not strong or competent enough to do it yourself… perhaps I should find a new second in command,” was the cold response.

“Would you shut up and listen for a moment?” Zoisite hissed angrily.

Kunzite whirled around, gorgeous silken hair flowing around him at the sudden movement. Zoisite fought the urge to lean forward and run his fingers through the pure white locks. 

“Excuse me?” Kunzite said tightly, daring Zoisite to continue.

Something within Zoisite snapped. He abandoned all caution and crushed his lips against those of the infuriating general before him.

The other man froze, tension clear throughout his body. Just as Zoisite was about to pull away and face his fate, whatever it happened to be, the older man responded.

“Zoi?” he asked when they finally broke apart.

“Kunzite!” Zoisite exclaimed in relief. “You remember.”

Kunzite doubled over, clutching his midriff. 

“Kunzite!” Zoi hissed, clutching at his lover’s sides as he collapsed to the ground.

The convulsions lessened and the general took a few slow breaths.

“I remember everything now,” he whispered. “ _Three_ sets of memories. Zoi, how do I know what’s real?”

Zoisite bit his lip, feeling helpless in light of Kunzite’s agony and confusion.

“Well, there’s one set that can’t be real,” Kunzite whispered.

“Which one is that?” Zoisite asked.

“The one where I don’t love you,” he whispered tenderly. Then he convulsed again.

Zoisite looked on in panic, wringing his hands.

“You can’t help,” Kunzite gasped between the seizures.

“What’s wrong?”

“Anytime… I break a compulsion… I’m under unbearable pain.”

“What are you breaking?”

“I’m only supposed to love Beryl.”

Zoi hissed. “I’m sorry Kunz.”

“Don’t be. I’d rather have the pain than forget all that I truly care about.”

“What will we do?”

“Prince Endymion… needs…” Kunzite rolled over to his side and curled into a fetal position.

“Kunzite!” Zoisite cried, trying to aid the other man to his feet.

“I have to continue under Beryl,” he said, his voice suddenly clear and easy.

“ _What_?” Zoisite demanded. “You will continue to torture Endymion’s love? Even after you’ve recovered your memories? He’ll never forgive you,” Zoisite said with confidence.

He wondered how he knew that. Zoisite didn’t remember anything about growing up or training in Endymion’s court. Nothing tangible anyway, but he trusted that Kunzite’s recovered memories were real.

“It’s too late for me Zoi. I have gone way past the point of deserving forgiveness. I have to continue torturing Usagi. If I don’t, Beryl will just send another. But maybe I can plant a seed within her psyche. And if I can do that, I can save Endymion.”

Even as he said it, his body convulsed in uncontrollable spasms. Zoisite held his lover through the pain choking back his own sobs.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Zoisite asked when the tremors finally eased.

“I have to. I owe him that much,” he whispered.

“What do you need me to do?” Zoisite asked. 

“When he shows up, give your loyalty to Endymion. And only to him.”

“But what about you?”

“I suspect he’ll kill me. And if he doesn’t, Beryl certainly will…”

“Kunzite!” the blond objected, his vision blurring as his eyes filled with tears. “Don’t do this! Please. We can just leave this place right now.”

Kunzite looked up at him with a sad smile. He brushed his knuckles across Zoisite’s cheek. Zoisite leaned into the caress.

“We can’t do that Zoi. Our duty is to Endymion… and to this planet. We can’t leave it in Beryl’s hand.”

“But…”

“Just be ready Zoi,” Kunzite gently interrupted. “Be ready.”

Zoisite forced himself to nod.

“Now help me to stand,” he ordered.

“Yes milord!” Zoisite pulled his lover from the ground. He vowed to himself that if Kunzite didn’t make it out of this alive, he wouldn’t either.

…

_“What is your name?” the general demanded._

_There was a long pause. She realized in a panic that she didn’t know. She couldn’t remember anymore what she was supposed to say. Midnight blue eyes flashed before her mind’s eye. 'I love you Usako,' the eyes told her._

_“Usagi!” she breathed desperately. “My name is Usagi.”_

_The agony surged ahead, and she convulsed._

_“Kunzite,” she begged through her tears when it stopped. “Why are you doing this?” She knew she wasn’t going to last much longer and that scared her._

_“I have to, my sweet princess,” he said softly looking away from her and down at his own palms._

_“You once loved Endymion,” she accused._

_He smiled with genuine warmth. The expression looked odd on him, and yet incredibly familiar._

_“I’m glad you’re remembering,” he encouraged. “Don’t stop now.”_

_“You loved him,” she said again. “You mentored and trained him.”_

_“You loved him more than I ever could,” he said softly. “And he loved you. Your true power reveals itself when you’re with Endymion. Don’t ever forget it.”_

_“Endymion,” she whispered. And when she did, the pain seemed to lessen._

_“Yes,” Kunzite whispered. “Endymion loved Serenity. He loved you.”_

_“What’s your name princess?” he asked it gently this time._

_“I am Serenity?” she said uncertainly._

Mamoru woke in a rage. How dare he! How dare that traitor use his love for the precious girl against her!

He paced back and forth like a trapped animal. He wasn’t making any progress anymore and he didn’t know what to do. He had tried to call Minako again. He had managed to pry the number from a worried Naru, Minako being the only civilian identity of the Sailor Senshi that he actually knew.

But she never answered the phone and he had no idea where to find her. He had been by the arcade and the café, but she never made an appearance. 

He would have tried to go to the other senshi as well, but he had no idea who they were. He cursed Usagi’s tightlipped secret keeping even though it was to protect her friends.

A short measured knock on the door interrupted his pacing. He flung the door violently open, expecting Motoki again. He froze when he was faced with a diminutive blue haired girl.

“Mizuno-san?” he asked, surprised.

“Hello Chiba-san,” she greeted formally with a slight bow of her head. “Sorry to disturb you.”

“How do you know where I live?” he asked.

The girl blushed.

“That’s not important right now,” she insisted, dodging the question. “I had an idea, but I think I need your help.”

“An idea for what?” he asked. He did not have the time, or the mental or emotional capacity, to help the girl with her homework.

“To locate Usagi!” she exclaimed, all traces of her never-ending patience vanishing.

He stared at her dumbfounded.

“You’re Mercury,” he realized, feeling rather slow. There had been a reason Usagi had said she would give his plans to Sailor Mercury when he had wanted Ami on the job.

“Umm… yeah… I thought you already knew that.”

“I hadn’t thought about it actually,” he admitted.

“Usagi-chan never told you?”

“Umm… no, she had never mentioned any of your earthly identities. Well, except for Venus, though that was… a special case. It seems rather obvious now that I think about it…”

And Rei was Mars and Makoto was Jupiter, he concluded, his mind putting the pieces together. The latter he _really_ should have gotten way sooner seeing as they had both arrived in Tokyo within a week of one another. And the five girls spent most of their free time together.

“Wow, rather insightful of her. I never realized she was so good at keeping secrets. She never told us your identity either. We didn’t know until she started screaming ‘Mamo-chan’ back at the tower.”

“So you had an idea?” he interrupted not wanting to relive that particular painful memory.

“Right, sorry,” she glanced down the hallways. “May I come in?”

“Yes, of course,” he said stepping back to allow her entry.

She wrung her hands nervously.

“So you can sense when she’s in danger, yes?” she began without preamble.

He nodded in confirmation.

“Can you feel it now?”

“Constantly,” he said letting loose the frustration he had been attempting to bottle unsuccessfully.

“Oh, good.”

“ _Good_?” he raged.

“Yes good,” she insisted firmly. “Let’s say that feeling stopped right now. What do you think that would most likely mean?”

He didn’t bother to answer, but he was suddenly grateful that he could still feel the tight knot in his chest that he had learned to interpret as a warning of Usako’s mortal peril.

“Can you tell where it’s coming from?”

“Usually yes! But now… It’s like it’s everywhere. Or nowhere,” he raked his hands through his hair, feeling rather useless.

Sailor Mercury on the other hand, grinned.

“It’s as I suspected.”

“Suspected?” he asked. Friend of Usagi or not – he was about to strangle the girl genius.

“She’s not in our plane.”

“What?”

“The Dark Kingdom seems to be located in a dimension between our physical plane and the next one.”

“What do you mean, the next one?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she dismissed his question as insignificant with a wave of her hand.

“The point is if I can open a portal to the right spot, you should be able to feel it and we’ll know we found the right dimension.”

He didn’t bother to ask how she would open a portal.

“What do you need me to do?”

“Meet us at the Crown Arcade. At midnight?”

“The arcade?” he repeated in disbelief.

“That’s where our head quarters are. We have a super computer in the basement.”

“Do the Furuhatas know of this?” he couldn’t help but ask. 

“Umm… not explicitly…”

…

Mamoru left his apartment a half hour before midnight, feeling alive and alert for the first time in days, now that he was finally doing something.

He arrived at the arcade early. The place was completely deserted, but when he approached the front doors they slid apart automatically as if the place was still open. He moved inside. A small black cat sat near the Sailor V game, her tail swishing back and forth in agitation.

“Luna,” he greeted crisply.

She blinked owlishly at him.

“Oh come on, I know you can talk.”

The black feline did not move except for her tail flicking back and forth. She did not speak.

The front doors slid open again and admitted Minako, Rei, Makoto, and another cat – this one white, trailing behind them.

“Mamoru-san,” Makoto greeted with a nod. Rei eyed him darkly. 

“C’mon Luna, open the door,” Minako directed, not sparing him a glance.

Only then, did the stubborn feline move. She still did not speak.

She stood in front of the Sailor V game and the crescent on her forehead glowed. The giant game console rolled backwards to reveal a set of stairs. Mamoru followed the girls into the secret headquarters. Luna and Artemis brought up the rear.

A giant view screen filled the opposite wall. Ami sat at a workstation typing away furiously.

“Oh hey guys,” she greeted absently her focus on her task at hand never wavering.

“What’s your progress Mercury?” Minako asked coming to stand behind her. 

“Almost there, but I’m not quite ready yet. Give me another ten to fifteen minutes,” Ami reported.

The three girls settled into plushy red couches that occupied the far wall. Mamoru chose to lean against the workstation instead, watching Ami work. He did not feel calm enough to sink into a comfortable chair. He wanted to be ready to leap into battle readiness at a split second’s notice.

The girls whispered between themselves. Mamoru did not try to overhear them. Instead he focused on the silent black cat perched halfway up the stairs, keeping watch of all that happened in the room.

“Don’t take it personally,” Makoto whispered. He jumped, not realizing she had moved to stand next to him.

“Take what personally?”

“Luna,” she said, nodding toward the black feline. “She’s been like that since… well, you know.”

Mamoru nodded in acknowledgement. He understood the cat’s sentiments all too well. So he moved towards the feline and lounged casually next to her perch. He began to stroke the silky black coat. She did not react or acknowledge his attention. He continued anyway.

“I’ll get her back Luna,” he whispered to the feline. He was uncertain who he was trying to reassure – the cat or himself.

She turned her small glowing red eyes in his direction and he again felt like he was being measured. But then she nodded as if to say ‘I’ll hold you to that’. It was strange to see a cat doing something so human.

“So I’m about to open the first portal,” Ami announced. “Chiba-san, if you could tell me if you feel any change?”

He nodded.

Ami tapped a key and the space between them seemed to stretch in distortion and then suddenly it was violently ripped apart to reveal black nothingness. 

She turned toward him with a lifted eyebrow.

He shook his head. Everything felt exactly the same – like a spinning compass needle never slowing or stopping. The portal quickly closed in on itself. And then a second formed almost as quickly. Still nothing.

And it continued. He lost count of the never-ending black doorways that cut through the fabric of space.

“How many portals are there?” Mamoru found himself asking.

“There’s at least one for every dimension,” she answered distantly.

“How many dimensions are there?”

“Too many to count.”

“Then how do you hope to ever find _Usako_?” he demanded. 

“Statistical models built from energy signatures of portals the Dark Kingdom minions have opened in the past were used to narrow it down a lot. Do not worry Chiba-san. There’s only about two hundred now.”

“How reassuring,” he said with biting sarcasm.

“Now that I have it working, it only takes a minute to open a portal. We can get through all likely destinations in less than five hours,” she explained.

He sighed and prayed they got lucky before then. While five hours was nothing compared to the last few weeks in terms of a time investment, he still wasn’t sure he could handle sitting around for that long. And what if the desired destination was actually one of the less likely portals?

“Please have patience Endymion,” Minako ordered. And it _was_ an _order_. “If anyone can locate Serenity, it is you with Mercury’s help.”

“Her name is Usagi,” he bit back harshly, his nightmare visions coming to mind far too clearly. “And I’d prefer you didn’t call me Endymion,” he said more gently.

Minako bowed her head in acquiescence.

“Of course,” she said with another graceful bow of her head that looked far too much like his princess for comfort. “Please forgive me. I meant no offense.”

“Why are you still pretending to be the princess? Why did you ever pretend to be the princess?” he demanded softly once the most recent portal had just closed.

She returned his glare completely.

“I am Princess Serenity’s bodyguard and double. I was trained to pass myself off as her. I remember more of my past than any of the others and it just made sense that if they all thought I was the princess and the enemy ever found out...”

“They’d go after you,” he said nodding. It made sense. Really it did. It also explained a lot – why Minako moved more like the princess than Usagi herself did. She remembered her training, whereas Usagi had led an entirely different life. It was quite the neat little package. There was only one problem.

“Except that the girls would all be busy thinking that _you_ were the one that needed protecting. Instead of Usagi,” he objected. “Usagi would sacrifice herself for you without knowing that you were supposed to be _her_ double.”

Minako’s eyes watered with guilt. “I know. I didn’t think about that. But apparently it never mattered,” she continued angrily, “as _your_ death forced Usagi to reveal herself in front of…”

Mamoru interrupted her with a raised hand. The tight knot of panic in his chest had just tripled in intensity and the almost magnetic pull that guided him to his soul mate once again blazed through his mind. His senses had never felt so completely off kilter – it was all he could do to remain standing as the world spun around him.

“I think you found the right portal Ami-chan!” Minako called, reaching out with a hand to balance him.

He brushed her offer of aid aside as he righted himself, blinking the world back into focus. Feeling more stable, he transformed and charged through the most recently formed portal without a word.

“Mamoru-san! You can’t go alone!” he heard the voice behind him, but it was small, far away, and _incredibly_ easy to ignore. 

…

Tuxedo Kamen charged through dimly lit corridors without hesitation, the pull towards his princess, now completely clear in his mind’s eye. A uniformed soldier stood in his path. Mamoru ducked down what he knew was a wrong turn to get a better sense of the situation. The distant figure turned his back revealing streaming snow-white hair.

The masked man charged forward in a rage, all thoughts of caution flew from his head. He tackled the general to the ground.

He struck his adversary hard across the jaw hearing a satisfying crack.

He was suddenly blasted away as dark energy struck him. Mamoru shrugged off the sudden dizziness, leaping to his feet once again.

Kunzite rose smoothly to his feet and turned toward his attacker. And fell immediately back to his knees, “My prince!”

Mamoru had the steel tipped rose in his hand poised for release, but in that instant, Mamoru recognized the general not as a hated enemy, but as his once most trusted friend. And he hesitated.

Despite the show of fealty, Mamoru was tempted to kill the man anyway. His instincts still screamed that this man could be trusted, but his actions had proven otherwise time and again. This man had spent the last few weeks torturing Usako! He resolve hardened.

_“You do have another task. One you must complete if the world is to have any chance.”_

_He gestured for her to go on._

_“You need to forgive your vassals.”_

Kunzite fell forward screaming and clutching his head. Mamoru froze.

“Kunzite?” Mamoru made himself ask.

“Endymion?” Kunzite asked, his eyes clearing for a second as he focused on his prince. Then his body convulsed again.

“Kunzite!” Mamoru leapt forward in concern.

“You have to kill me,” Kunzite said desperately.

“What?” Mamoru asked in disbelief even though that had been exactly what he had been planning less than a minute before.

“I’m fighting it I swear,” the white haired man said brokenly.

“Fighting what?”

“The compulsion. I don’t know how long I can stop it,” his eyes darted back and forth as if unable to focus on anything.

“Stop what?”

“I’m sorry my prince. For ever doubting you, for falling under Beryl’s spell, for hurting your beloved.”

“You can help me now. Help me find Usako,” Mamoru insisted.

“We should have listened. You were right,” Kunzite convulsed again and he tore away violently.

“Please,” he begged, “You need to do it now.”

“But…” Mamoru objected. The man before him now was clearly not the man Tuxedo Kamen and the Sailor Senshi had been fighting with over the last few months. Not the man he had watched torture his beloved. He resembled the warm older man from his dreams.

But then his face transformed into a snarl and Kunzite leapt forward to attack.

Mamoru threw the rose instinctively. It struck the general in the chest, right at his heart. And he staggered to the ground.

“Kunzite,” Mamoru said sadly coming to his side.

“I’m sorry. We were reborn… like you. I think we were supposed to find you, but… Beryl found us first.”

Clear grey eyes fell closed and then dissolved into dust. Only a purple crystal remained behind. Mamoru clutched the gem in his fist feeling it bite into his palm.

“Kunzite!”

Mamoru jerked his head up meeting a pair of anguished green eyes.

“Zoisite,” Mamoru said uncertainly. He did not know how the other man would react. The masked vigilante rose to his feet.

“You must follow me to Serenity,” the blond man said stiffly. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

Mamoru gestured for his former subordinate to lead the way.

“Kunzite was the first to break free of the brainwashing milord,” Zoisite explained, “He confronted Beryl and she…” his voice broke.

“It’s alright,” Mamoru reassured. “I think I have a pretty good idea of what happened.”

“I couldn’t openly oppose her milord,” the grieving man beseeched. “Then we would all have been lost. When Kunzite came out of her chamber that last time… he wasn’t the same.”

Zoisite made a sudden turn and a cell door clanked open. Mamoru held his breadth as he entered the tiny cell that he was already far too familiar with.

Usagi was again huddled in her corner, though she appeared to be asleep.

He touched her shoulder and she jumped awake and turned frightened eyes toward him.

“Usako, I’m here,” he reassured.

“You always say that, but you never are,” she said, her fear transforming into resignation.

He clutched her to his chest as tears fell unfettered at the sight of her blank eyes – at the sound of defeat in her voice.

“No, it’s really me! It’s time to get out of here!”

“You mean like leave?”

“Yeah.”

“But where would we go?”

“Home. To your parents! To your friends. Hell, you can come to my place.”

“Your place…?” she repeated. “But not to… not to the moon?”

“No Usako…” he said, a hitch in his voice. “We can’t go to the moon…”

“The moon was destroyed. It’s cold there now…” she whispered.

“Usako!” he cried brokenly.

“Why do you always call me that? My name is Serenity, isn’t it?”

His heart shattered at her words.

“No Usako,” he managed through the lump in his throat. “Not anymore. You were reborn on Earth. Your name is Tsukino Usagi.”

“Reborn?”

“You were born in Tokyo to parents that love you. You love chocolate milkshakes and the color pink. You have so many friends and a little brother that irritates you immensely. You are always late to school and get detention almost every day. You hate math, but you’re getting better at it. You inspire others with your open heart and willingness to forgive,” he rambled in desperation hoping to spark something… anything, still clutching her unresisting body to himself.

“Usako…” he cried.

“Milord,” Zoisite interrupted carefully. “We need to leave _now_. Her majesty will…”

He never got to finish as he was suddenly impaled through the stomach with a giant stalagmite. Zoisite dissolved into dust, and a ruby speckled green stone clattered back to the ground.

Mamoru clutched Usagi closer to him as the impossibly gorgeous woman floated gracefully into the tiny cell. Her deep blue dress crackled electrically along her curves. Her fire red curls almost seemed to stand on end, floating and caressing her slim form. 

“Beryl,” he growled.

“Prince Endymion,” she purred. “It has been _far_ too long.”

Tuxedo Kamen ignored the witch standing before him as he turned his attention back to soothing his distraught princess.

“I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you, but she is _quite_ broken,” Beryl commented gleefully. “I would be willing to wager you’re wishing you had taken me up on that marriage proposal now are you not?”

Mamoru placed his precious burden gently on the floor before he turned back towards the unnatural witch. He charged forward in the small space, releasing gleaming blood red darts in rapid succession before striking down with his cane. 

Beryl just laughed as each projectile was absorbed into a dark shield that enveloped her form. The cane fared no better.

She raised one arm slowly and blasted the Terran prince across the small cell.

“What do you want?” he demanded in rage as he picked himself up off the floor.

“What I’ve always wanted! I want the earth. To rule over it as its queen. And I want Elysian! Access to the permanently blooming paradise that your line has always kept selfishly for itself. 

“You were the answer and solution to all of these desires, Endymion! All you had to do was marry me. I would have given you everything: power, heirs, a prosperous Terra, and I would have left your precious moon princess alone. What say you now Prince Endymion?”

He glared defiantly at the self-proclaimed queen before him.

“I will spare her if you join with me,” she offered.

“Endymion…?” the broken girl repeated softly.

“You think I would join you after what you’ve done to her?” Mamoru screamed. “Not in just one lifetime, but in two?”

“Very well,” and she raised a scepter that had just appeared in her hands. Dark lightning lanced up from the ground through Usagi. She screamed.

“Stop!” Mamoru begged, his eyes turning back toward Usagi as she convulsed in agony.

Beryl laughed. The dark lightning intensified and Usagi’s screams jumped up an octave.

“You know what I want Endymion!”

“Alright!” he conceded. His mind raced, looking for a loophole or a daring plan of rescue, but in his panic he couldn’t think of anything except ending Usagi’s pain.

She laughed again, but the power flow stopped. Usagi crumpled into a heap, breathing heavily.

Mamoru knelt by his princess and cradled her once again.

“Usako,” he cried. “I’m so sorry she has hurt you. I won’t let it happen again.”

“You are Endymion…” she whispered. “I love you…” It was almost a question.

In spite of everything, he smiled down meeting her crystal blue eyes. “Yes,” he confirmed. “And I love you. Please always remember that and forgive me.”

“I’m waiting,” Beryl reminded him.

“I will agree to your terms on a few conditions…”

“You’re in no position to bargain,” she said coldly. The four Sailor Senshi materialized behind her, each one of them imprisoned in ice.

“I beg to differ…” he said coldly. Beryl held all the cards, but if she played any of them she would lose. When she remained silent he knew that she had come to the same conclusion.

“They go free,” he demanded. “All of them. Usako too.”

“Very well,” she agreed.

He turned toward the ice statues expectantly.

“Well?” he asked.

She sighed. The ice melted away and all four senshi leapt forward to attack the queen only to be thrown backwards by an energy barrier.

“You said they’d go free,” he objected.

“They _are_ free,” she argued. “They can turn around and go back to whence they came. And if they escape my compound alive, which I find highly unlikely, they can even go back to their dreary meaningless lives. But if they are foolish enough to attack me…” she trailed off glaring at the fallen Sailor Senshi. Then she spun back towards him.

“Now, you will uphold your end of the deal!” she demanded coldly. “You will swear allegiance to me.”

“What about Usako?” 

“She is free to leave as well.”

The witch held out her hand with her ring and he moved forward to take it.

“ _No_! Endymion! You can’t!” a clear confident, albeit panicked voice interrupted.

Mamoru turned back toward the princess in shock.

“You can’t trust her,” his princess explained. And she _was_ the princess from his dreams. She had all her memories of that time intact. She was clear-eyed and aware of where she was and of who he was.

But where was Usagi? Where was his little rabbit?

“She destroyed the Moon. She tortured and brainwashed your vassals. She’ll do the same to you and the earth.”

“I know…”

“Then _why_?” she demanded.

“I love you.”

And he turned back to Beryl and raised her hand to his lips.

Beryl’s harsh laughter intermingled with the princess’s screaming anguish sent discordant resonance ricocheting through his skull.

And he realized that to Serenity, watching him sacrifice himself – to watch him become a monster like Kunzite was the greatest torture. That the pain he was inflicting on her was greater than anything Beryl could concoct.

He came to this realization too late as he felt the poison leech into his body through his lips. He had no control of his limbs as he rose to his feet.

And when he turned back unwillingly toward Serenity, he also realized he had been a fool to trust that Beryl would hold up her end of the bargain. His gut twisted sickeningly.

The witch handed him a sword sheathed in its scabbard. _His_ sword he realized with a start. The same one that had been Endymion’s. The one Serenity had used to kill herself. If he had been able, he would have been screaming for her to run, certain she only had seconds before Beryl made him slice her apart with his own hands. It would be made all the worst for the fact that he was completely aware of what he was doing and powerless to stop it.

The second he took the sword his Tuxedo vanished to be replaced with gleaming silver armor and a red cloak that stretched out behind him. The attire felt familiar and somehow right. He jerked the blade free, his mind screaming for his hands to stop. But his hands no longer were at his command – they belonged to the dark witch.

But he didn’t turn the blade on Serenity as he thought. Instead, he turned the blade toward himself. Serenity screamed.

“I don’t need you anymore Endymion,” Beryl’s cold voice resonated through his head. “But I’m glad your death will serve to keep our lovely princess in line. She will have witnessed it not once, but twice.” She leaned forward.

“But do not worry my prince,” she continued with false sweetness into his ear. “I promise we will not allow her to take the easy way out this time. You can be rest assured that she will stay here for all eternity under my _gentle_ ministrations. We can’t have the two of you meeting up again in your next life.”

Mamoru felt whatever hopes he had plunge to new icy depths. He had played right into Beryl’s hands. She would separate him from his love. Somehow that was a fate more terrifying than death.

And there was no way out.

Not now anyway.

But she had let slip an important fact. He would be reborn again. It might take years or even lifetimes, but he would never give up. He would never stop searching for his princess.

“Usako… please forgive me,” he beseeched. Her eyes met his own with that questioning look. The look that said she had no idea what he was talking about. She didn’t blame him for anything.

He smiled recalling their first fateful encounter as she had barreled into him. The first time he had saved her from her very first youma – she had been just as confused and terrified as himself. The elation he had felt when she had called him Mamoru-kun instead of baka and told him not to give up on his princess. The moment he had watched her transform for the very first time, realizing who she was. He remembered kissing her impulsively in the moonlight as she recovered from her injury on his bed.

Kami, they had had so little time. And he had wasted so much of it doubting his heart. But there would be more, he promised himself. If not now, the next time around.

The sword bit painfully into his flesh.

He ignored the pain, and instead imagined the drawing of the rose garden – the one place that had both special meaning to Endymion and to Mamoru. He pictured her there in the garden.

_And suddenly he was standing beside her surrounded by rose bushes. She leaned into a fragrant booming rose._

_Why hadn’t he thought of this before?_

_“Usako!” he cried. She turned toward him in confusion._

_“Endymion?” she questioned, taking in their surroundings. “How are we here? I thought the moon was destroyed.”_

_It was. But this was their special place. It existed in their hearts because of their connection to one another._

_“Usako,” he said pulling her into his arms. “You have to transform. You have to be Sailor Moon so that you can fight Beryl.”_

_“Sailor what?” she asked. “And why do you keep calling me Usako?”_

_He froze and stared into her eyes, his heart plummeting. She still didn’t remember her life as Usagi. In his soul that was the greatest tragedy in all of this._

_“Endymion, what’s wrong?” she asked, clearly reacting to his tension._

_“Listen Serenity,” he said holding her tighter trying to convey all his feelings in the simple embrace. “Remember always that I loved you. Don’t blame yourself. And don’t give up. You can break free of all of this. I know that you can. Please forgive me for all the pain I’ve ever caused you both times around.”_

_“Endymion, you’re scaring me…”_

_He felt the vision waiver. He didn’t know how much time he had left, convinced he was still in the Dark Kingdom cell in the process of killing himself._

_So he leaned forward and kissed her gently one last time, tears falling from his eyes._

_“I love you, Usako,” he whispered and the garden shattered around him._

He woke up to agonizing pain in his chest as the sword pierced his flesh.

“Mamo-chan!” Usagi screamed.

A glittering golden disk came spiraling around him and struck Beryl on her forehead. The woman screamed clutching her face.

Mamoru stumbled forward as her physical compulsion lost its hold. He turned the blade toward her and plunged it to the hilt between her breasts. He let go of the blade as she sank to the floor with a screeching howl of pain. He stared at her in disbelief as her glamour faded leaving behind a dried husk in a matter of seconds.

He grunted in pain as Usagi dove into his midriff. She was dressed once again as Sailor Moon. He quickly enveloped her into his arms enjoying the sensation of her heart beating against his own in spite of the self inflicted shallow wound that bled from his chest.

“Usako?” he asked.

“Yes, Mamo-chan?” she responded looking up into his eyes.

He sighed in relief. “You remember.”

“Remember what? Serenity and Endymion?”

“No, do you remember _us_? Mamoru and Usagi being awful to one another!”

“Yeah, I remember that too,” she said with a scowl.

“Good,” he said, kissing her firmly.

Just then, the girls converged upon them gleefully. And Usagi broke away from him to hug each girl in turn.

He took the moment to retrieve Zoisite’s stone before he draped an arm possessively over Sailor Moon once again.

“So Mercury, you got another way to get us out of here?” he asked casually.

The blunette grinned. “Of course I do.”

…


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

Mamoru stirred the hot chocolate adding the mini marshmallows that he knew Usagi delighted in before taking the two steaming mugs back to his living room. 

Usagi stood facing a now empty bookshelf at eye level. His textbooks had been relocated to a haphazard pile on the floor.

“What are you doing?” he asked placing the hot chocolates on the coffee table.

She whirled around guiltily, revealing a pink crystal in her hand.

He glanced at the stone in her hands and over her shoulder at the other three smooth rocks already placed prominently on the shelf.

“Why are you decorating my apartment with dead generals?” he asked, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“They are a part of your past Mamo-chan. And a huge part of making you the man that I love. You should honor the memory of who they used to be. Please don’t be mad.”

“Usako, I’m not mad. I just… I know that they all hurt you. Especially Kunzite. I don’t want the stones out if they remind you of painful memories.”

“I remember both Mamo-chan. I remember Kunzite sneaking you into my palace so we could be together even as I remember him torturing me in a cold dark room. But they are the not the same. And when I look of the stone, I remember your friend.”

She held out the crystal to him.

“See? It’s warm… caring even. Not corrupted.”

He took the crystal willingly and gripped it carefully. It pulsed rhythmically almost as if it had a heartbeat of its own.

_“You need to forgive your vassals.”_

He closed his eyes against the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He truly was grateful for Kunzite and was glad that the man had overcome his brainwashing at least partially, but…

“I can’t do it Usako,” he said. “I can’t forgive him. Not for the pain he inflicted on you.”

She took the crystal from his hand gently and placed it alongside the others.

“Actually, I think that he saved me.”

“What?”

“In the end, he had changed. It wasn’t just about making me forget that I was Usagi. He made _sure_ that I remembered _you_.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mamo-chan. He told me that my power came from you. From our bond.”

“I know,” he said tightly.

“You do?”

“Usako, I… when I was trying everything in my power to find you, I somehow was able to use our connection to experience everything that you were experiencing.

“You really were there. You really visited me,” she whispered in revelation. “I had thought… I thought I was imagining it.”

“I would never leave you to face any of that alone!” he insisted.

She choked back a sob. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” she said.

He stared at her incredulously. “ _You_ are sorry? Usako! _You_ were the one being _tortured_! By _my_ most _trusted_ mentor and advisor!”

And he pulled the purplish pink crystal off the mantle. “No, this doesn’t belong here,” he said coldly.

“No wait!” she objected.

“Usako. I saw him use the fact that I loved you against you – to make you forget yourself. I don’t need to be reminded of that.”

“But see! I don’t think that’s what he was doing. He had to make me forget Usagi to satisfy Beryl, but he never let me forget you or our love. He made sure that our connection stayed strong.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He left a door open Mamo-chan. One that only you could open. One that led me back to myself. Back to you.”

He stared dumbfounded at her. She looked down and gently pried the crystal from his hand and put it back on display once again.

“You owe him much,” she insisted. “I do as well.”

“You are so amazing,” he said in awe, losing himself in blue sapphire pools of light. Her capacity for love and forgiveness never ceased to amaze him.

“I couldn’t do any of this without you,” she insisted.

“You’re wrong Usako,” he disagreed, his voice serious. “You can do anything.”

She turned a delightful shade of red. He took advantage of her self-conscious blush and pressed his lips to hers gently, savoring the softness of her skin and the scent of her fruity perfume.

He had taken her for granted, he had wasted so much time. He would not make that mistake again.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished a story!! Never done that before. Feel very accomplished. Thank you so much for reading and sharing this journey with me (twice for some of you!). And for all the kudos, subscriptions, and comments. All were (and totally still are!!) appreciated.
> 
> The sequel is finished. It’s called Nightmares. Hope to see you there!


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